hi
so for years now i’ve had this ongoing pain throughout my body but my high pain tolerance made me feel like it was nothing. then it got worse and i had to see a specialist. after a ton of blood testing, x-rays, an mri, etc, we’ve come to the tentative conclusion that i have rhupus, which to my understanding is a combination of rheumatoid arthritis and lupus. it took me a month and a half to actually research what this means for me. it turns out the skin on my face isn’t just dry, it’s a butterfly rash, and the growing pains weren’t just growing pains, they were autoimmune diseases. i was hesitant to rely on the rheumatologists best guess, but after doing the research it all makes sense. i don’t know how this is going to effect me, i’m 21 years old and i’m in excruciating pain every morning. i’m writing this is the bath at 3am because the pain won’t let me sleep so i have to soak. my mom seems to think changing my diet will make everything better but she doesn’t understand that if she were in the same pain i’m in all the time, she would be in the emergency room in a heartbeat. it took years for me to convince her that i’m in legitimate pain, and even then it wasn’t me who made her realize something is wrong, it was my elevated crp level and my doctors recommendation. now i’m on a cocktail of medications, i’m exhausted all the time. and my mental health is on the rocks. i need help. i don’t know how to get my mother to understand what i’m going through and i don’t know how to come to terms with the fact that this is probably what the rest of my life is going to feel like.
