Nov 13, 2018
My department manager was looking for an intern:
Boss: It doesn’t have to be a graphic designer, just someone that can use Adobe Illustrator efficiently and has an eye for detail and composition.
Me: So… a designer?
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My department manager was looking for an intern:
Boss: It doesn’t have to be a graphic designer, just someone that can use Adobe Illustrator efficiently and has an eye for detail and composition.
Me: So… a designer?
it’s been almost 4 years so I think it’s safe to share this amazing screenshot from a client design brief that I got during one of my first jobs as a Graphic Designer.
So ma’am, you’d like a healthy and professional looking label for your health product that you’re selling professionally? You don’t say.... And it should look like it belongs in a store?? But it can’t look like other products from stores. I’LL GET RIGHT ON THAT
Customer: Can I get a McChicken with egg on it.
Co worker: Pardon me?
Customer: Egg on it...Egg on it.
Me (Taking over): Okay thats-
Customer: Egg on it.
Me: Oookay.
Customer: You got the egg on it? I want egg on it.
Me: Say egg on it one more time.
Client: I want you to give me printouts of the fonts that you have so I can pick and choose the ones I like.
Me: I have about 1000 fonts.
Client: Yes, perfect. Print ‘em all.
Me: No.
A client I’ve worked with in the past came to me with the request to add a video to the top of the homepage of their e-commerce website, along with some other tweaks. I thought it’d be a little bit tacky to have the large video bombarding new users, but I went ahead and quoted the project for $X.
Client: Hm, no, I was thinking $Y [one-third of $X], and I’ll also need these other things done as a part of this project.
Me: Alright, I can do all that, but it will be $X to take care of it.
Client: If we are agreed on $Y, send over the invoice.
Me: Sorry, no. If you’re adding other features, I’m firm on $X to take care of this project.
Client: How about $Z? [halfway between $X and $Y]
At this point, I was ready to just walk away, but I wanted to maintain the relationship as it had been good up until this point so I decided on a compromise.
Me: Sure. I can do it for $Z. It’s going to be completed on a slightly longer timeline, though. I have some other projects in my queue at the moment, and I will get to yours when I am able. Send me over the video, and I’ll get the project in my queue.
Then, the kicker.
Client: Here’s the video. Yes, it’s very long and not flashy, but that’s the point of this bad boy. We are going to make it autoplay with no controls available to the user. Make them sit through a 27-minute video. We’ll see how that does for a few weeks.
Client: Please italicize the title and not the period.
Me: (How the hell do you italicize a period?)
As part of a design, I’d made a solid black background for a client.
Client: Could you add a one-pixel black border to the background?
But it was all black, and already had a border.
I sent it back without changes.
Client: Perfect!
Client: We don’t offer this kind of flexible product in Russia, please kindly change from 10 days per month to 10 days per week.
Me: …What?