IT WAS DEFINITELY SHIRO
IT WAS, WASN’T IT?!
(stares off into the middle distance) I knew it.
And wow I just wanted to write you something funny and short in response but then this happened.
Coran twirled the left end of his mustache, a sharp glint in his eyes as he overlooked the tiny makeshift set-up before him. It wasn’t quite the same as the highly detailed turquoise holograms and the carefully carved figurines, but the random bits and pieces they found on the planet Verkos was more than enough for an exhausted band of heroes looking for a distraction from the several weeks voyage still left before reaching Earth. After the three-varga-long session Coran had hosted a few quintants before, Krolia had now settled down in a corner with one of the tablets, carefully constructing a character to fit the slim gray and brown rock she had selected to represent her. When any of them offered to help her, she had simply waved them off. Hunk swore he heard her muttering about feats and exotic races and prestige classes he had never even heard of, which did little to ease the group as they glanced over to watch her work.
Alternatively Keith, upon hearing Shiro had already died several times in this game, had simply grabbed a large rock and planted it on the playing mat next to Shiro’s rubbery leaf figurine and said: “Make me big. And strong.”
Keith’s character became the biggest, mightiest, beefiest, and still somehow the fastest among them - much to Lance’s outrage - mostly made of mismatched muscles and a collection of hands wielding a horrifying array of sharp things. Mostly Keith’s time playing was spent rolling often and unnecessarily, shouting out results to checks Coran hadn’t required and rolling an impossibly high amount of the Altean equivalent of a nat-twenty. His character, Gorg, spoke very little, the longest sentence being “I am Gorg. I have come to protect Jiro.” His other sentences usually consisted of him changing that name as Shiro’s many characters fell to Coran’s malicious intent.
Coran seemed about to enact it once again. “So, just to make this clear, Number One,” Coran started, his tone light and gleeful, “you would like Viro-”
“No, no, we’re on Niro now.”
“What? We’re not on Tiro? When did Tiro die?”
“Pretty quick, actually. Xiro failed his saving throw on the poison and died, Tiro ran in half a second too late to save his brother, and then the guards shot him full of arrows because this random dude just sort of appeared out of nowhere. So. Yeah. Shot him dead.”
“Paladins. You are all wrong. It’s Yiro, now.”
To Romelle, it sounded as if the group had been playing this game - a game she found quite boring if she was being totally honest - for decaphebes. She was quickly corrected.
Twenty-two vargas in total.
Shiro sighed, weariness settled deep in his bones as he sat propped between Keith and Allura. He understood that by now the high mortality rate of his characters was an ongoing joke, but the new body ached and his head still pounded with months of rest he could never dream of catching up on and Yiro had had really nice stats. He straightened himself, aiming to put the debate to rest on which reincarnation this was when Keith abruptly spoke up.
“I am sworn to protect Kiro. First of his name. Sixteenth son, to inherit the quest of Shiro should his other brothers perish.”
There was a long silence as everyone stared wide-eyed at Keith, who had now broken the record for how many words Gorg had ever spoken in one go. Shiro laughed, soft and weak somewhere in his chest, but Keith smiled all the same at the small display of enjoyment.”
Coran glanced over at Romelle, who had created a list of all the Shiros, and she gave him a nod of approval. “… Right. Well, just to be clear, now that Pike has unlocked it, Kiro is opening the door?”
Shiro nodded. “Yes.”
Coran proceeded to do a series of frantic rolls, snatched Shiro’s tablet at some point - an easy feat nowadays - and then cackled. “Kiro bursts into flames!” A dramatic pause. “And perishes.”
Keith sat up, leaving Shiro to fall onto Allura. “Gorg dumps his water barrel on Kiro before he burns.”
“Ah, but it is magical fi-”
“I rolled this symbol. Is this like a nineteen?” Keith was aggressively holding the d20 up in the air for Coran to see, eyes narrowed but voice horrifyingly even.
“The trap is set to-”
“I also rolled this number. In case you need to check my reflexes.”
Shiro reclaimed his tablet as the two began to shoot back numbers and checks, acquiescence clear in his gaze. “Ahem,” he started off, clearing his throat for good measure. “I am…” A quick glance at Romelle’s list showed he was running out of letters to use. “Ziro… And I have come to continue my brother’s quest.” He began to tap the update into his character’s family tree, but the tablet merely buzzed at him and refused his request. Shiro frowned, retyping the name and pressing once more.
Nothing.
“Coran. What is happening?”
Coran’s entire face went dark, a low maniacal laugh ripping out of his chest. “You have hit… the maximum number of siblings the program can handle!” Coran announced with delight. “You will be forced to craft a new character from scratch! A new character, a new class. And it will be glorious!”
The entire group erupted into laughter and cheers as Shiro pouted in disbelief at his character sheet. Lance looked like he might cry from joy.
And then Shiro hummed thoughtfully.
“I can’t have anymore siblings?” he asked. “You’re sure.”
Coran was still grinning, eyes alight with victory and hellfire. “Yes!”
Shiro smiled, typing something into his tablet before picking up a small purple rock near his knee and placing it beside Gorg. “I am Shiro Jr. I am a ten year old training to be a powerful Paladin like my father. I have come to avenge him and all my uncles, and to complete my father’s quest!”
Silence.
Romelle was the first to start laughing, so hard she fell over.
Coran had gone pale. “Wait,” he started, voice wavering. “Shiro never mentioned a significant other! Or a child! You can’t be here without an adult!”
“Gorg has come to-”
“You do not count!” Coran snapped, a vein throbbing on his forehead. “How do you plan to explain this child just showing up out of nowhere? Who is the other parent? Why was this boy never mentioned before???”
“The answer to all your questions is simple.” The group in unison turned to Krolia, who now sat beside Keith with her tablet and the slim rock she had chosen. “I am Avaris, a Silvaran druid with a celestial wolf familar. I met Shiro many years ago on a mission of my own, but he was summoned away at the news of someone sighting the beast that had slain his master, and I never saw him again. He never knew I would later give birth to his one and only heir. With Gorg’s assistance, I seek to ensure the completion of my former lover’s quest.” Krolia’s eyes flashed a blinding yellow. “And the unquestionable survival of my son.”
Romelle suddenly loved this game.