CW: Adult language, dehumanization, references to abuse, minor injuries.
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NOBODY'S FOOL
Chapter #6: *Ring, Ring*... It's for You
[Penn's POV]
Suddenly a voice and pressure on my shoulder brought me back to the present moment.
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I pinched his little shoulder between my thumb and finger, shaking him. “Penn? Hello? You okay, little fella?” He blinked, before staring up at me.
“I’m s-sorry. I’m okay, I’m, I’m fine…” he doffed his hat and ran fingers through his hair.
My brow was knit as I frowned slightly, “You know, eventually, that blanket non-response isn’t going to be good enough for me. I want to know what’s going on inside that worried little head of yours…” he swallowed, that seeming to make him more nervous somehow. It would be better to drop it at this point, the poor thing seemed pretty rattled. “C’mon then, eat something. I know you’re hungry….” I pushed the muffin chunk closer, just before his chest. He wrapped his hands around it obediently, tearing off a piece and biting into it, slowly, cautiously at first.
I could only imagine what he had experienced under Claire’s care. It was obvious just looking at him that he hadn’t been fed enough. I wondered what sort of sick games she had played with him just for the fun of it. Looking down at this tiny, sweet, wonderful little man, i wondered how anyone could intentionally harm a hair on his head.
Some people were just so unfeelingly cruel to the creatures who were most defenseless and powerless. I’d always been the kind of person that shuddered when ants were stomped underfoot, grasshoppers were robbed of their wings, or mice and rats were trapped and killed on glue traps as they struggled and gasped for air. Human beings tended to treat every living thing around them with little more regard than the dirt beneath their feet. I hoped I could show the little creature below me, now eating with the desperate starvation of an animal that had not eaten for days, that I was different. That people could be different and could have compassion and softness for tiny things…That just because you could be cruel didn’t mean you had to be. Travis’ voice from last night echoed in my mind: “…Think about what that would mean for pets like him everywhere….”
Out of a protectiveness and fondness for him, the idea of him going before crowds of rowdy, drunk and judgmental people scared the shit out of me. He could be so easily hurt in a situation like that. But at the same time… what if? What if we dared to dream with him that his little life didn’t have to be so little after all? If even one person saw the incredible talent pouring out of him and looked at him with open eyes, not just as a plaything, but as a real living soul with boundless thoughts and dreams, wouldn’t that make it worth it? I didn’t know, and it wasn’t my decision to make. We still didn’t know if Travis, or the rest of the band really meant it anyway.
Sweetly, gently, I fed him piece by piece, offering the spoon full of yogurt and tearing off bits of bacon. He seemed to like everything he tasted. I ate along with him, in between his bites. Holding that massive spoon up to his tiny lips made my heart melt. He was just so fucking adorable, and the fact that he trusted me to take care of him sent thrills of joy tracing up my spine.
Soon, the plate looking as though hardly anything had been eaten at all, my tiny patient indicated he was full. It took practically nothing to feed him, even as hungry as he had seemed to be. I pressed a thumb to his chest and cradled his back with a few fingers, making sure to press as lightly into him as I could manage, not wanting to contribute any more to his patchwork of bruises. His legs dangled in the air, his right hand wrapping itself around my thumb nail. “Was that good?” He nodded, wiping the corners of his mouth with the back of his left hand. “Good!” I smiled warmly. “It’s probably about time to change out your bandages, what do you think?”
He looked down at himself, as if he had forgotten his own open wounds. “Yeah, sure…” I carried him to the bathroom, and placed him on a towel laid out on the counter.
“Do me a favor? Take your clothes off, just down to your boxers is fine.” He seemed relieved at that. Poor little thing, I did feel bad about stripping him naked the very first day I’d met him…. Even though I didn’t really have another choice. He did so, stiffly, painfully, but he managed just fine on his own. I held him up to the overhead light, to see how his poor little body was doing. I took off the blood soaked bandaids one by one, apologizing as the sticky glue pulled at and irritated his skin. Rolling him over in my hand, he seemed to be doing much better. The bruises were changing colors but mostly fading from the deep blacks and purples they had been. His cuts and scrapes were scabbing over, no longer weeping with blood and puss.
“You’re looking much better…” he seemed to heave a sigh of relief hearing that. I applied fresh bandages and then placed him back down on the counter, balancing on his own two feet. I rested my chin on the counter so we could see eye to eye. “You’ll be right as rain in no time.” I tousled his hair as he bent over to put back on his pajamas.
When he pulled his shirt over his head, he looked me directly in the eyes, “Thank you…. For everything. I, I owe you my life….” My cheeks flushed hot, he was so sincere, so grateful.
“Oh hush. It’s nothing you wouldn’t have done yourself if the situation were reversed, I’m sure.” I smiled, standing up and kissing his hair line. I picked him up and placed him in my hand, pressed up against the wall of my chest, I cleaned up the bathroom counter and carried him into the living room. He was staring up at me for most of this. Finally, he cleared his throat as if to say something, when my phone started ringing on the couch seat where I had placed it. I picked it up, looking for who was calling.
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I froze as the device rang. Humans loved those things. They made obnoxious, almost constant noise in some cases, and they were big, in fact most of them were just a bit taller than me. I hated those devices as they often were used to take embarrassing photos and videos of me in compromising positions, or to ignore me as I begged for help, or dangled from a limb, crushed between disinterested fingers. They contained this world of social media, of texts and online videos, of calls and video chats, a whole world of human interaction that I was simply not a part of, unless it was as the butt of a joke. I couldn’t even use the damn thing properly because the screen was so huge relative to my body. Phones made me feel especially tiny and insignificant. And just now, here I was, held against her, as she reached for the phone.
It cast a shadow between my body down below and her now obscured face. She stared at it for a moment before putting it to her ear, sitting back on the couch. I was now just a toy to fiddle with in her hand as she conducted a conversation without me. I pulled my knees into my chest as I felt the hot sting of jealousy prick at my heart. This is what I’d meant, in my thoughts over breakfast, that at the end of the day, I was bereft of any real ability to determine things for myself. I was at her mercy in everything.
I settled in to wait, hoping the call wouldn’t last too long. At least she wasn’t toying with me, dropping me, squeezing me or dangling me upside down as she chatted nonchalantly with her friend. I was, thankfully, left to wait it out in whatever position I felt most comfortable. I sighed, listening to her half of the exchange, “Hey!” She chuckled, “You just wake up? Yeah, we just finished breakfast…” she looked down at me, petting my shoulder with the pad of her thumb. “I know! Poor little thing, he clearly wasn’t fed enough, he’s so hungry! But then he hardly eats anything at all, I guess because his little tummy is just so itty bitty…. Poor baby…” She was using that cooing voice again, as she pressed the tip of her index finger into my stomach. This wasn’t fun for me. I cast my eyes down. “Right? Yeah, I know! Oh really? Dani, you too? You’re sure? Because—“ I hated this.
Were they talking about me still? Had they forgotten about the camaraderie we’d built just the night before, when they’d almost treated me as a person? Was all that gone and was I reduced to just prodding fingers and baby names? It sure seemed like it. They’d probably changed their minds. In the sober light of the morning they all realized how ridiculous their idea sounded. They were probably laughing about it now. That sting of jealousy, embarrassment, resentment flushed hot on my face. I curled into myself even more.
It was one thing to have lived my life, sentient, alive, resentful of my lot as this powerless little being, a living doll to a race of creatures far more powerful than me. It was another thing entirely to have hope, a dream, an escape, a euphoria like I had never deemed possible dangled right before my nose and then snatched away again. To have had that door, that I didn’t even know existed, slammed directly in my face. And of course, they didn’t mean anything by it. To them it was almost nothing, a fleeting thought experiment, a cute and funny what if. I felt tears well in my eyes, and as I hugged myself tighter, I felt her finger brush along my cheek, pulling for my attention, I looked up to meet her gaze. “Did you hear me, little one? They’d like to talk to you…”
I blinked, this was not what I’d expected. Still, they could just be trying to let me down gently. My heart pounded in my ears. I nodded, giving her the go ahead. She pressed the speaker button and laid the phone down on her right leg, lowering her cupped hand with me inside, down on her left.
“Yo, Penn! Waddup, little man? How you feeling today?”
“Uh, h-hey, Travis. I’m good. Feeling good…”
Then Dani’s excitable tone, “Is that him?? Put it on speaker! Put it— Hiiiiii, Penn!” She practically screamed through the speaker, I liked her even if she adored me maybe a little too much.
“Hey, Dani. Hey, Riley, if you’re there….” Well, they seemed in good spirits, not that that meant anything. I highly doubted letting down a tiny insignificant pet like me wasn’t about to ruin their day. But, still, it kept a glimmer of hope alive.
“Hey, dude!! Listen, Trav has something to tell you…” Riley’s voice through coughs. He was smoking, of course. I felt my spine stiffen, holding my breath.
“Okay, so we’ve all talked and….” I could hardly stand it…. And?? And what?? Just tell me! “… and, well, we’d like to take you for a spin, if you catch my meaning. I can’t make any promises, obviously, if you tank us we’ll have to cut you loose but… we figured we should at least give it a shot….”
I was frozen, stock still. Mouth agape. Eveline’s fingers were squeezing me slightly, showing her excitement for me. I couldn’t make myself say a goddamn thing. I just gaped like a fish.
“P-Penn? Listen, I get it if you don’t want to…. No one would blame you. We have no fucking clue what will happen if you put yourself out there… but you’re fucking good, like, stupid good. And we need that desperately right now…. Hello? Ev, is he still ther—"
Suddenly I had control over myself again, “Yeah!! Yes! I mean, I’ll do it. Yeah. I-If you want me there, I’m there.” They all cheered and blew out the speakers. I looked up over my shoulder at her, she was beaming, eyes sparkling. She kissed the tip of her left index finger and brought it down to me, pressing it against my heart. I placed my hand over her finger tip, tears welling up in my eyes.
“H-hey, you guys have no idea what this means to me…. Thanks for taking a chance….”
Travis’ voice again, “Yeah man, I don’t know what pact you signed with the devil but… talent recognizes talent. So… listen, we picked up this last minute gig in a bar tonight. Super small, low risk. Buddy of mine owns the place. Why don’t you come? Get a feel for it…See if it’s comfortable for you? I… listen, I don’t mean to baby you or anything it’s just… you know, lots of humans and one… you… just don’t want you to bite off more than you can chew, yeah?”
It was pretty fucking scary to think about… if one drunk asshole knocked me off the bar counter, I’d be toast…. But, fuck it, what’s life without a little adventure? And it sure beat living the rest of my life as a house-pet, even if it was with the marvelous miss Eveline. “Okay… yeah, I’ll see you guys tonight then?”
They erupted again. Excitable, these guys, “Fuck yeah!!!!!
