Sea Bear
What I’m about to show you is a hidden gem of the weird video world. Both the publisher and this video are quite extraordinary and I felt that today was the right time to introduce both to you all just to make your lives a little more fun. And of course by fun I mean absolutely wild and never the same as they used to be. This Youtuber will bring new meaning into your life.
Our feature video has been brought to us by the Youtuber Pamtri, who I’ve linked here so that you can check out any more videos just like this one. “Sea Bear” is a timeless classic and I’m not referring to the Sponge Bob episode. No no, I’m talking about a video based off of said episode which I’d argue is far superior than the original edition. This beauty was posted in May of this year, meaning that we’re thankfully still able to produce content that I can fuel this blog with.
We’re first shown Squidward’s home and then we see the man, the myth, and the legend himself: our favorite tentacle monster proclaiming that he can finally get some sleep because Sponge Bob and Patrick have gone camping. If you ignore the way his head cracks when it turns and how his abdomen stretches across the Mississippi River with every other word, it almost feels like a real episode. There’s some lovely white noise in the background that prevents him from sleeping, so he just has to go and check this out like the soon-to-be horror movie victim that he is.
The door flies off into the void in order to give him a proper dramatic entrance. Squidward discovers that it’s Sponge Bob and Patrick screaming out the white noise and heads outside to check in on them, finding out that they wanted to go camping outside of the former’s house instead of going far away. When Sponge Bob tells him to go have fun inside, Squidward goes into a temporary demon state before announcing that he too wants to join the camping party. So naturally he has to be clicked on and dragged over to the campers in the most beautiful way ever.
After a little while of Sponge Bob singing a song and Squidward trying his hardest to not murder him, Mr. Tentacles decides that he absolutely must whip out the clarinet and play a very classy song while his face transforms into possessed melted wax. Sponge Bob warns him about something called a SEA BEAR, which is definitely a very real thing that everyone should be wary of. SEA BEARS are nothing to be trifled with. Look at how dangerous and threatening this SEA BEAR can be.
(The butthole face adds for extra threat levels.)
Our boy Squidward feels no need to heed Sponge Bob’s warning and continues to play so intensely that he’s suddenly donning a very crappy sombrero. After being instructed to do so, Patrick draws a circle around himself and his best friend as a means of protecting them against whatever evil being Squidward is summoning.
Just as Mr. Tentacles announces that he was right about there being no such thing as sea bears, we actually see one with a human face- eyeballs rolled up into the skull and everything- twice the size of its body. The sea bear emits a single SANTIAGO and then promptly swallows Squidward, the sombrero, and his clarinet. The rest of the video is Squidward playing “Smash Mouth” on his clarinet inside of some dark void. There’s also a side plot involving Missus Puff shooting Sponge Bob and announcing that she always wins while Patrick zooms off into the sunset, but that’s not as important.
If you’d like to watch this video for yourself, this is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shrcT1EN4Sc
