Regarding the ex-tgirl aka River x normalnicewitch drama unfolding on radblr: I won't add to the speculations on their relationship, as anything I would or could say would be of no use and would only risk harming normalnicewitch. None of us, outside of the people directly involved actually know the full reality of what has happened - filling in the gaps with assumptions helps no one, least of all the woman at the center of it.
I need more of you to understand that reblogging dramatizing or speculative posts is doing nothing more than feeding your own hunger for drama. Turning a woman's experience of abuse into discourse, theory or "analysis" strips her of agency and simply transforms her into a subject for public consumption. Even if a woman once chose to speak out on a touchy subject, it does not give consent for you to build your own speculations around it. You are not talking with her, not helping her - you are gossiping about her. Even when framed as concern, I can't view this as anything other than straight up anti-feminist behavior.
And I think that many of you are aware. Tumblr's reblog culture can blur the line between solidarity and spectacle, but we are still responsible for what we amplify by giving attention to it.
If anyone genuinely wants to genuinly support nicenormalwitch, that support should be grounded in respect for her autonomy and if you can't do the bare minimum, at least leave her be and stop inserting yourself. Real support does not have to be loud and it surely is not performative, and it is not about being seen taking the "right" side in a public moment. It could be a kind DM or asking her if she needs anything, even if it is just a listening ear.
The only certainly right thing to do here is to stop fueling this public type of discourse entirely.
If you want to criticize ex-tgirl and hold him accountable for anything he did or said, then do that, but leave nicenormalwitch out of it. That also means to stop using her as a gotcha - only bringing her up when it is convenient to win a point, regardless of whether it harms her or goes against her wishes not to have her experiences turned into public discourse. When men do wrong things, the women linked to them always suffer by mere association.
