#rkdoyoung

[rksaememories]

NIGHTMARE.

💌 @rkdoyoung​​

it’s said that time is a healer. just how much time will it take for saerom to feel like herself again? that’s the burning question that continues to burn in the pit of her stomach, day after day. and it’s only been a week or so after the events of the evaluation; her meltdown with one soul witness. it would probably be easier to just give up, to throw away everything she has worked for and to go back home. maybe she could finally enrol in university and make her parents proud, do the one thing they want her to do. but she can’t bare to break away from the thing she loves.

   even if it hurts to continue doing the thing she loves.

a combination of physical and emotional pain. even since saerom had her well ... breakdown, she’s found herself sleeping a lot more which is both a good and a bad thing. good for her health, bad for her reputation as a trainee. that being said, she’s still getting to her classes at sphere and seocho each and everyday, even if she doesn’t want to be there. 

one late night, saerom finds herself wandering the halls of sphere. it really is late, most trainees have gone home and saerom finds herself lingering by an empty dance studio. somehow, she is overwhelmed with the urge to enter and let herself go, just this once. she flicks on a light or two, preferring to not blind herself with the bright lights of the studio. tossing her bag aside, she walks into the center of the studio and instead of dancing, as planned, sits, lying back on the cool floor, arms and legs outstretch. she closes her eyes, taking in deep, slow breaths. 

[hyojinrk-archived]

&. downfall

@rkdoyoung

patience is the simplest solution to any problem.

patience is giving a quiet, unwavering smile to the bulky but harmless man who tries to make himself bigger and scare you off when you tell him that he’s being too rude to the convenience store cashier. patience is watching him storm away with even eyes when you don’t lift a finger to intimidate back, only watching him calmly. patience is bidding the greedy landlord a polite hello whenever he comes to visit your mother, pressuring her to pay bills that she’s always paid on time, and it is also pleasantly leading him to the door when he’s done with his monthly harassment.

kim hyojin has always been good at being patient, at playing nice -- if anything, it was ingrained in his system; it was who he was. but, no matter how kind of a person he was, there were always certain buttons that should never be pressed in his book.

“stop it.” his voice is low, but he’s bristling, body tensing up in a way that suddenly makes him seem much more threatening, as if he was a caged monster that had been freed of its restraints after years of imprisonment. there’s a burning anger in his eyes, a hint of desperation and a deep sadness bleeding through, completely eclipsing whatever gentle brightness they usually had.

although his posture remains the same in his seat across from the other male, the hand that had been resting next to his iced americano was now clenching violently, fist turning almost white. he’s been trying not to let it build up, to push it down -- but he doesn’t think doyoung has been picking up on how much his words are upsetting him.

he’s always envied how the other could act so freely, able to follow their dreams independently. but when it came to him, idoldom was just a distant speck of a childhood dream that he had never quite seemed to grow out of, no matter how much he put it down. and now, here he was, completely unrecognizable and at his wit’s end trying not to say something he’ll regret.

“why are you speaking as if it’s something anyone could do? being an idol, a singer, a musician -- isn’t it enough for you that you’re achieving your dreams? why must you dangle such a false hope over me, too?"

[soljirk]

✨ after the storm

( an #rkmelting starter for @rkdoyoung )

solji missed the days of being able to leave practice on the weekends and have the sun still up and greeting her. now, she was only greeted by dark nights and temperatures that left her teeth chattering. it was so cold today that her normal short walk home felt too long, and without a thought, she slipped into a café to grab a cup of hot cocoa before she would settle at home.

she was waiting in line when she noticed the male in front of her looking awfully familiar. she poked her head around to make sure she wasn’t wrong in who she thought it was as she gave him a light poke. “doyoung-ssi,” she bowed her head politely at the other. “it’s been a long time. how are you? i didn’t expect to see you here.”

[rkseonho]

party hats.

@rkdoyoung

there’s something so special having his birthday be so close to his cousins birthday. and while he’s sure most people wouldn’t like the fact their special day is shared with someone else, seonho is the exact opposite.they’re birthdays arent the same day, but four days apart isn’t bad, and it meant that seonho had an excuse to spend even more time with his cousin who he adores. he feels it’s important for them to make time for each other now, their sleepover a few weeks ago had been great, but seonho had already been missing doyoung. 

they were meeting after seonho’s training ended, the teen had been with a friend over the last weekend so they agreed to meet up this one. making this more a celebration for doyoungs birthday than his own, but thats fine with him. “hyung! we should get beef, i could eat a whole cow right now i’m so hungry.” he greets once he spots the older, not wasting anytime to latch onto his hyung with a happy grin. 

[yutark]

new instagram post !! —@yu_n

 ( MORE... ) 

it feels not very long ago, where i would see your cute face every day, and we would train together, and have fun... you even helped me on the first evaluation we had together. lol. that’s where you first became the ost king !! ♛ i will never forget our time together, and i hope we will see one another again（πーπ）doyoung. i’m wishing you a very happy birthday today, where ever you are....  ♡ 

keep singing those songs, ost king !!

#ostking #neverforget #doyoungday #✌

[jaehyunrk]

@rkdoyoung

( txt ➝ supreme headass )  ➝ hey ugly, i miss your dumb face ➝ i feel like we haven’t spoken in forever lmao ➝ how’s training??? you in your company’s dungeon?? ➝ idk if you’ve noticed that i haven’t been around like at all ➝ well, ya boy hasn’t been a trainee for a few months now. lol. i’m a whole busking bitchass. i’ve been free to do whatever and whenever!!!

( txt to : supreme dumbass ) ✉ : who is this ✉ : jk ✉ : well yea i havent seen you around either which is ??? kinda weird it’s been too peaceful ✉ : nope haven’t noticed at al ✉ : kinda hard not to notice when you’re not annoying me 24/7 ✉ : wait what really??? i thought you were just suspended for a week and lost your calendar so u forgot to come back ✉ : you actually left trc? woah.......

[hyojinrk-archived]

❀ HANLIM MULTI ART HIGH SCHOOL, JUNE 13TH!

( outgoing cancelled message to doyoungie ) ✉ i....i’m gonna try out today ✉ for mgas, i mean ✉ i’m sorry ✉ i shouldn’t have said those harsh words ( messages deleted )

feeling his teeth dig into his bottom lip, hyojin’s finger slowly engulfs the button on the side of the screen, shutting the phone off. seems like this was really it, huh?

he’s not exactly alone. alone was not the best or most technical word to describe the situation, with him in the passenger’s seat and jooyoung steering the car. perhaps ‘teetering’ was better.

kim hyojin was teetering between certainty and uncertainty, shame and shamelessness, stuck between caring too much and almost not caring at all. it was as if the ground under him had been fractured and was currently shaking under his feet, causing him to sway from side to side, unsure of where else he could possibly jump to. 

( was this really the solution? was this really the only way he could look himself in the mirror? the same way that now would prevent him from being able to meet his mom’s eyes? )

even imagining her face at this point could bring him to a complete standstill, to force him to stay put in the car and tell jooyoung that it’s okay, he’ll just wait until he’s done and then they could go home. briefly, he wonders if she would be proud of him. he wonders if this is something she could brag to her friends about instead of something that would signal the end of whatever stability he had created, the source of money that would pour in whenever summer began.

( if he makes it, he knows he’ll have to resign from the firm this summer. he knows he can’t work there. what will he do then? what will she do then? )

as he stares out the window, watching the streets and shops lining familiar streets slip by, the worry starts to chip away at his resolution. things were getting better. they had been for the past few years, but he’s not sure if this is a risk he can take.

“thanks, hyung.” the thoughts haunt him and trail along his shadow, weighing down his fingers as he unbuckes his seatbelt and opens the car door once they arrive. 

it haunts him every step of the way into the building, every footprint that fades behind jooyoung’s that grows more and more unconfident. he’s not sure how he makes it into the gym area without turning back around and making some kind of excuse to leave, to just be anywhere except for there. he’s like a child about to commit some kind of petty crime, but the last thing he wants to do is worry jooyoung and cause a scene, especially at such a critical time. 

his smile is still sincere despite the inkling of sadness it contains when the staff take his measurements, and he follows their requests obediently and without much complaint. by the time he’s in the practice room with jooyoung, it was as if everything that had happened just a few hours earlier that morning was just a distant memory.

now, there was no going back.

[yutark]

if you couldn't date taeyong, would you date someone else? if so, who?

“i’m assuming you mean, if he didn’t exist? or… we didn’t love one another anymore? because breaking up doesn’t mean i’d date anyone else. if we love one another, we’ll be together. even unofficially.” ( ‘ – there’s a distinct crinkle in his nose at the thought that he would date anyone else, simply due to restrictions out of their control. their contract said they couldn’t date, and they were doing so anyway. he wouldn’t date someone else if their companies made them break up. they barely saw one another due to their schedules, some could see that at not ‘dating’, if they wanted. but yuta continued to love taeyong, and that was what made them, together. ) “if we go with one of those scenarios. then, yeah, i’d date someone else. younghyun would be fun to try, even if it’s a horrible idea. taeil was good when we were together, i think i’d get to experiment a lot with him. jungwoo is cute, so i wonder what he’d be like to date. he’d be romantic, wouldn’t he? maybe youngjae, but i feel like he’d hit me if he knew that. maybe if doyoung wasn’t straight, he’d make a cute boyfriend as well. i think i could fluster him, easily.” ( ‘ – he chuckles at how many he could name, but then shrugs his shoulders. dating was something you did out of curiousity and want, more than affection from his point of view. he didn’t know if they would ever amount to what he had with taeyong; he didn’t think they would. ) “as for girls? rose and wendy would be the only ones i think i’d consider. i feel like rose would be chill as a girlfriend, but i also don’t my friends exes or current.. whatever younghyun and rose are, and wendy would be someone that i think would be different enough that it’d be fun while it lasted.”