#rkmb

[rksecretsanta2019]

Merry Christmas to @rkmb                           | from @rkwendy

A Compilation of Moon Bin and Zhu Zhengting Incorrect Quotes

Merry Christmas, Tea! I’m not sure whether this is what you had in mind, but I hope you enjoy this! 

Bin: We need a plan. Ok, here’s the plan. Step 1: get a plan. Step 2: do the plan.

Zhengting, not sarcastically at all: [smirks] Yep, this is working!

Bin: Zhengting! Focus.

—

“I need to step outside… for some air… and I will not be back for many days.”

– Zhu Zhengting

—

Zhu Zhengting: B, I never doubted you for a moment!

Moon Bin: Thank you, A. You’re lying, though, right?

Zhu Zhengting: Oh, yes. I doubted you very strongly.

—

“You are nothing but a second-rate, trying hard copycat!”

– Zhu Zhengting

—

“Old. Musty. Falling apart. Not exactly my type.”

– Zhu Zhengting

—

“I know I’m perfect and you can’t help it.”

– Zhu Zhengting

—

Zhengting: I know you snuck out last night, Bin. Bin, internally: Play dumb! Bin: Who’s Person B?

Bin, internally: Not that dumb!

—

Zhengting: Get lost!

Bin: Get lost? Where? Because I’ve been lost in your eyes for some time now.

—

Bin: Fate is on our side, what a wonderful fate, I must say! God still loves me.

Zhengting: Who is your God? Satan?

—

“I didn’t even really mean to, but I kind of wound up taking over a city. It needed doing, so I did it.”

– Moon Bin  

—

“It’s like I have ESPN or something.”

– Moon Bin

—

Moon Bin: If it’s 1 or 1,000 sins, you’re still getting sent to hell. So why not go for 1,000,000 sins and go down a legend?

FRIEND: Moon Bin, NO!

—

Zhengting: you just got $15 dollars worth of food, will you be able to eat it all?

Moon Bin: not sure, but I’ll try.

*20 minutes later*

Moon Bin: *finishes his fourth burrito*

Zhengting: wow, how do you feel now?

Moon Bin: …

Moon Bin: I feel GREAT.

—

Moon Bin: If vegetable oil is made of vegetables and coconut oil is made of coconuts, then baby oil…

Zhengting: (slams silverware) CANT WE JUST HAVE A NORMAL FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!

—

“For Lent this year I’m just giving up.”

– Zhu Zhengting

—  

Moon Bin: Not all who wander are lost…

Moon Bin: …

Moon Bin: But I sure am!

—

Moon Bin: This was a terrible idea! Why didn’t anyone stop me!

Zhengting: Because you didn’t tell us! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US!!!

Moon Bin: Because you would have stopped me!

Zhengting: Did you eat all of my milk duds?

Moon Bin: *silently chews for 7 minutes, finally swallows* First of all, I don’t appreciate the accusation…

—

Mom, can you pick me up? I’m at a party and there’s someone funnier than me.

– Moon Bin

—

Moon Bin: I feel like I have died and gone to Heaven.

Zhengting: I have that dream too, but you go in the other direction.

—

“I eat Cheerios because they’re heart healthy.”

– Moon Bin

—

“AHH! Stahhp. I coulda dropped mah croissant.”

– Moon Bin

—

So Ji Sub: Next,please.

Moon Bin: Hello.

So Ji Sub: This is a mugshot.

Moon Bin: A mug shot? I don’t even drink coffee.

—

“Girl, you’re thicker than a bowl of oatmeal!”

– Zhu Zhengting

—

“Made out with a hot dog? Oh my God that was one time!”

– Moon Bin

—

“Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant, while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What’s so great about Caesar? Hmm? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Because that’s not what Rome is about. We should totally just stab Caesar!”

– Zhu Zhengting

—

“Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands, they just don’t.”

– Moon Bin

—

“Get in loser. We’re going shopping.”

– Zhu Zhengting

—

“You shall not pass!”

– Moon Bin, standing in front of the Royal Ent. building

[yuzurk]

「  Dance Revolution 」 ⇢ Trainee MC Solo | +3 CH  ⇢ The Chaotic Comedy Duo flexing all over the place feat. @rkmb

“ they were a force to be reckoned with. a very chaotic force. ”

The script looked easy enough and practicing with Moonbin only made the whole thing a funny procedure in itself. Ban be damned, she at least got the chance to flex her skills as a streamer in this context all over the place. Yuzu lived to entertain others and combined with Moonbin’s chaotic energy, the two were bound to create something that would either leave everyone floored with laughter or both of them kicked out of the room for not taking this seriously enough.

Standing in the audition room with him together, cards in hand to have some sort of guidance that they agreed upon, the rookie trainee was relaxed and laid back, waiting for their cue to begin.

“Good Day to you all! I’m Choi Yuzu,” she began, letting Moonbin introduce himself before she continued. “and we’re here today... well why are we here today, Moonbin-ssi?” She questioned in a joking manner, letting Moonbin explain that they were going to teach their viewers famous kpop dances as she rocked back and forth on her heels, nodding her head along.

“The Hallyu is turning into a tsunami at this point so us humble trainees are here to provide you the content you seek out on the internet, easily for you to access and copy! Always remember- it looks easier than it is!” Sarcasm strong she flashes a thumbs up to the camera, wide grin on her lips. Moonbin goes on to explain what song they picked and what part of the dance they were going to teach their viewers before Yuzu continued along.

“But wait- what if someone can’t keep up?!” Being the stupid one in this scenario is something she doesn’t mind, Moonbin proceeding to explain how they would show the steps, repeat the sequence slowly and then go for the normal speed all while yuzu parts her lips and nods her head in understanding, being her usual expressive self. “I see, I see. And then we come up with catchy names to make the steps more easily to memorize?” A random, unscripted idea she just came up with tossed into the room she can’t help the mischievous glint that appears in her eye and is easily mirrored by Moonbin who simply follows along. 

And so they were doomed.

Explaining choreography was easy enough but to try and do so when your partner came up with random, ridiculous names that were both innovative and fun it made the whole experience ten times better. They were doing a nice back and forth going through the moves, dancing them together smoothly and counting properly in between their laughter and ridiculous antics. 

Only when Moonbin came around with “BWA BWA BOOM!” did Yuzu double over in legit laughter, using her cards to gently smack his head in typical Japanese slapstick comedy humor. “What is that?! That’s not even a proper name! You lose,” she comments in an off-handed manner but of course the competitive partner in crime of hers picks up on it immediately, successfully turning it into a challenge that continues to go on and become a legit sub-theme through the rest of the script. 

By the end of their show they settle for a draw but it wouldn’t be Yuzu if she didn’t finish the audition with the words: “feel free to leave us feedback online about who you think won this competition! We hope you enjoyed this episode and will tune in again for next week!”

[yuzurk]

♫ ~

MUSIC DRABBLE MEME | STATUS: ACCEPTING !

♬  SONG - OMG ♬

“Listen- I need yer help.” Moonbin raises a brow as Yuzu tugs on his arm after having slid up next to him during lunch break. The girl darts her gaze towards a fellow trainee of theirs who had been eyeing the two, especially Yuzu ever since she came into the room. 

“Hmmm looks like someone has a crush on you~,” the elder male teased to which the streamer only whined and hit his arm. “I’m serious! Dun laugh, man. I need yer help. Been tellin’ him t’back off but he ain’t listenin’... I dunno why he fell that hard, I swear I ain’t been flirtin’ with him,” the hoobae claims, her voice distraught.

“Can’t y’like... pretend to like... date me or somethin’? Like ye- I know gross but... please? Just till he gets the hint? I ain’t know what else to do!”

She knew the moment he laughed but put his arm around her that she’d never hear the end of his benevolent greatness and good heart after this. Yuzu could tell he’d still use this against her twenty years down the line. As the realization sunk in she only groaned into her plate, ready to try suffocate herself on her rice. 

This had been the shittiest of her ideas so far for sure.

[yuzurk]

@rkmb

𝗥𝗘:  최예나  ▸  02  𝙎𝙈𝙎 𝙍𝙀𝘾𝙀𝙄𝙑𝙀𝘿 !       — ✉ :   if they don’t offer you a contract, i will personally fight so jiseob himself !       — ✉ :   good luck, and don’t hurt yourself ㅋㅋㅋ

✉ ⇢ mb loser

[ ✉ ] ㅋ ㅋ ㅋ ㅋ ㅋ forgot to reply on time. ops? :3c [ ✉ ] guess y’dun gotta fight big daddy

[yuzurk]

「 Flyer 1 」

⇢ request received: @rkmb​ !

Now she knows how this feels. Holding the paper between her fingers, it still feels somewhat surreal to be holding onto gazillions of piece of paper in the mission of passing them out herself. Thankfully to Yuzu she can get away with masking her appearance by wearing a mask and a beanie to hide her bright freshly dyed hair due to the cold and harsh weather approaching Seoul.

Not the best conditions for her to be out and about distributing flyers to those willing to take them but she’s motivated nonetheless. 

Either way she starts right in the building itself, stopping a person met in the hallway by a wink of fate. “Oh wait mister- I’m a new trainee here I was wondering if you’d be willing to take one of those? Just to keep yourself updated with what our company is doing these days,” she speaks, voice altered, in proper Seoul dialect to further shroud her identity to her chaotic brother, wondering if the act would work or if her eye smile would give her away on the spot.

[rkmeiqi]

@rkmb​

𝗥𝗘:  미기  ▸  05  𝙎𝙈𝙎 𝙍𝙀𝘾𝙀𝙄𝙑𝙀𝘿 !     — ✉ :   happy birthday to the talented meng meiqi ~     — ✉ :   did you think i’d forget ㅋㅋ  i have good memory ㅋㅋㅋ     — ✉ :   i thought about sending you a bouquet of fried chicken     — ✉ :   but you’re debuting soon, i don’t want to be a bad influence ㅋ     — ✉ :   remember me when you’re famous ~

[ txt mssg → thief 💻  ]

✉️ → thank you my talented moon bin~ ✉️ → ur already a bad influence 🤥🤥 ✉️ → so send me the bouquet coward!!!!!  ✉️ → or at least tell me where to get one of thoseeeee ✉️ → but as expected you know me so well ✉️ → fried chicken bouquet... ✉️ → ive dreamt of that a lot ✉️ → i could never forget u ✉️ → i consider u to be my first fan u know that binnie~ ✉️ → my first sasaeng 💜💜💜 ✉️ → anywasy i think ur more famous than me ???? 😭😭🔪

[gideongaye]

I was just randomly remembering about the time there was some kind of weird spam bot having to do vaguely with Martha Stewart (might have been the bots username maybe) on the Relient K message boards and I made up and posted some kind of shitpost poem relating to the spambot (all I remember about it was the last line of the poem was “It’s a good thing!”) so, basically, I wish there was a good archive of the old RKMB. I do get the feeling looking over my old posts would give me a mixture of embarrassment and “wow I used to be pretty funny what the fuck happened?” hahaha cause I kind of see my days on the RKMB has my personal golden age of internet “comedy”/shitposting.

[gideongaye]

the Relient K Message Board

Does it exist any more? (insert Slowpoke meme reaction pic here)