#rl stuff

[tarisilmarwen]

In your mercy pray for my sister. She has been admitted to inpatient at the hospital for a bad flare-up of her schitzoaffective disorder. She has had four such breaks with reality previously and had recently celebrated five years of being psychosis symptom free this February. Pray also for me as I coordinate with her doctors and others for care and treatment and to ensure she gets FMLA leave at her work.

[blacktofade]

The government said @ebonybow and I can get married!!!!!! We started this process Nov 2024 and we're finally done!!!! LFG!!!

[lilac-den]

RL Update

Hello, everyone! So the last time I posted, I mentioned going for the hospital and all. Figure I'd give an update.

If it disinterests you, feel free to skip this post!

So first off: I woke up with double vision on Sunday. Went to a clinic (which was a little shit cuz I just watch the doctor type my symptoms on a notepad and then get a letter for the hospital, which was the logo of the clinic and the stuff she typed on a notepad. Cost RM35, much to my chagrin. Mind u, there was no referral of hospital nor did she tell me what these symptoms might possibly be.) Then went to a glasses store that my sibs went to 'cause maybe this could be a 'need glasses' issue (cuz I haven't used any glasses yet). It was not. Thankfully, the store owner recommend an eye specialist, thus moved onto Monday Visited the clinic, waited 2 hrs where the clinic's closing, then saw the doctor. After some uncomfortable tests involving getting eyedrops that leave the eyes feeling a bit puffy (my first time getting eyedrops cuz I'm squeamish at having stuff interact with my eyes), doctor said "Your eyes are all okay. This is a brain thing." Which left me spiralling a little because I immediately thought of brain tumor or the like. The night later wasn't helping me either cuz ended up dealing with a minor drama that brought more stress to me than receiving the news about my diagnosis from the eye specialist. On Tues, went to the hospital that's covered by insurance - got admitted after being tested by a doctor specializing in neurology and ophthalmology and by then, I was having trouble walking straight. Went through a series of tests on Wed, including an MRI scan.

Funny thing is - a nurse informed me about how they'll inject this one substance that'll make it clearer for them to see the MRI scan (Gadolinium) and when I asked her if there's any side effects, she went "Oh, just allergic reaction but those are very rare.". After being in the machine for 40 machine, getting pulled out to be injected with the stuff, then put back in for 15 mins, they finished the MRI scanning and settle me onto a wheelchair to wait for a nurse to bring me back to my room.

Guess who won the lottery of allergic rash?

Thankfully, it was only on my left forearm and even then, it wasn't all that itchy cuz I'm used to mosquito bites (legit looked like it until I'm like 'wait, there's no mosquitoes in the hospital.') So after being injected with the stuff that helps with allergies, got brought back to my room and basically just dread of the possibility of a brain tumour.

A diff doc came to my room and basically said "So, about the tests. All of them came up okay. There's no problem with your brain."

I legit went:

I was so stumped that I legit went 'What' twice. The doc ends up telling me that it could be an auto immune disease situation and it could only be one of the two - myasthenia gravis or one that would've been progressing worse. Now my immune system isn't weak - but I was attacked with a bad cough and that may have been the opening for this gravis thing to get me. So, the 2nd doc was referred to by my first doc cuz she's specialized in this part of the tests and would them tmr/Thurs.

Sure, what are the tests?

And she ends up listing 2 tests that are just god awful to me, who has a fear with sharp objects.

One was NCS - Nerve Conduction Study.

The other was a Lumbar Puncture.

(One of my siblings end up telling me 'man, you really getting exp for tests that come up in medical dramas.')

I already know what an LP is - but NCS was something I'm unfamiliar. So, I thought LP would be the most painful one.

How foolish was I.

They put 3 stickers first, attach it with wires that have clamps and then press a taser-like thing that emits shock currents onto your skin.

You know when doctors knock your knee to see if you'd kick?

So imagine, instead of your knee, it's directly under your skin and on your nerve.

Then they have to shock your nerves to see if there'll be responses and what not.

It felt like my nerves are xylophones with the sticks having shocks at the end of them and they play it like it's a marimba.

Worst part is, they gotta do it a lot of times after they found the nerve to hit.

So an hour+ of it was spent on feeling the shocks on my wrist, neck near the collarbone and then on my right side of the face. But on the face part - they had to put a needle above my eyebrow. Idk what else to say cuz I had to keep my eyes closed the whole time they shocked my face, but I did feel my right eyelid twitching to the shocks. But the doctor in charge of the NCS noticed there was an irregularity, which helped them find out what my issue was.

Then it was LP and the 2nd doc assigned to me was in charge of it. She has experience and done it a lot of times, told me it'll be painless. She did ask me if I wanted to move the LP to tomorrow instead.

I just ask to do it on the same day cuz 1) it was Hari Raya on Friday (Happy Hari Raya to you all!) and 2) I rather not delay the inevitable.

So I had to curl and stay still. No moving. Doctor gave me painkillers and local anaesthesia through needle, which I damn well felt. Idk how but apparently, the needle touched one of my nerves as it was going in.

Cuz I ended up doing a kick with my right leg against my will. A knee jerk reaction.

Which left me even more scared as I bite down more on the blanket I was given - the doctor said that it's okay, it's normal - this kind of thing is just uncommon.

And I'm just thinking CAN I STOP WINNING THESE UNFORTUNATE LOTTERIES?

But throughout the process, it was painless and I didn't feel a thing against my lower back. But it was the most nerve-wracking thing for me.

Thus I end up lying flat on my back, on the hospital bed, for 6 hours and spent more time sleeping.

All my tests ended up okay - except for one, which was still processing and won't be known anytime soon due to the holidays. But the docs started prescribing me the meds for gravis cuz it's the most likely, since my symptoms have been stagnant instead of going worse.

And yesterday, I got discharged. Still got double vision, but I got meds and trying to get into any trouble - including going outside with my slightly better but still wobbly steps.

Why am i sharing all this?

Cuz 1) Wanted to update y'all about this whole thing.

and 2) Cuz it's a bit of a funny story to tell. 🤣

Thank you for coming to me Ted Talk. (┬┬﹏┬┬)

(photos for proof and yes, I am aware of how the skin is of diff shade - that is due to lighting LOL)

I also been digging into the Cult of the Lamb hole and wrote a little AU of TSR - whoops

Hope you all have a lovely time and have a Happy Hari Raya! 💜

[pastelchaos242]

What is wrong with my sibling

I made some wonderful biscuits (not cookie) and my sister had to do this

Then she was like how can I make this worse and some got strawberries syrup

Then

And somehow she made it even worse

Guess I live with a future serial killer

[adejareve]

ask me about...

(week of 7/13)

Tagged by @epiphany-jones and @dags-over-caravans and caught @sorrygoldfish’s open tags. I love these and I love hearing about what everyone is up to. 💜

...what I'm reading (books): I’m on hold for The Mountain in the Sea, so that’s going to need to be a full dive as soon as I get it. In the meantime, I’ve just started Remarkably Bright Creatures. I think it might make me cry.

...what I'm reading (fic): I learned from goldfish’s post that there was an update to @skogrr's Salt & Blood which I will be catching up on pronto. I also want to keep on with @slothquisitor’s Portrait of a Family, which I have loved so far but think I will need to pace myself on re: emotional torment. I also have seen @gatesofminrathous’s Nothing and Everything to Lose and @woodlandeelf’s The Orlesian Job recced more than once and have both of them high on the TBR; I was avoiding modern AUs while working on Birdwatching to avoid crossing mental wires, but now it’s full speed ahead.

...what I'm listening to: The last few days has been a flurry of household decluttering, so I’ve been leaning in on instrumental focus background music. I love the Horizon Zero Dawn for stuff like that (and for writing) so that’s been on strong rotation.

...what I'm watching: Nothing! I'm not a huge tv person in general but right now nothing is appealing to me. Now accepting recs.

...what I'm playing: I just finished Clair Obscure: Expedition 33 and will never be okay again, probably. I don't have anything on deck. Maybe a nice game about sitting quietly, being very normal. That's about the emotional intensity I have available after the last one. Looking at you, @epiphany-jones.

...what I'm eating: I made a creamy orzo with chicken sausage and vegetables tonight and my kids even ate it! A rare miracle.

...what I'm working on: Still nothing, which is becoming a point of frustration. I have a bunch of vague ideas, several 300-500 word starts, but no direction on anything. I want to write, I've just got nothing there. Tumbleweeds. It does mean I've gotten to just roll around in the muck of The Recrumbening and friends, it's an ouch.

...what I'm doing to touch grass/what's making me laugh/what's giving me hope: Combo answer on this one because I've actually been in an increasingly weird mental place over the last week or two. I think the personal project of Birdwatching and the school year wrapping up at the same time created a kind of weird mental void that I'm not quite sure how to get out of. I'm decluttering my house a lot, which is long-term satisfying but day to day kind of a slog. I probably need to be touching grass a little more aggressively. But my husband and oldest have been having the best time watching the World Cup together and that's be really sweet to watch, my youngest has started announcing that she's imminently getting super powers that will let her throw her body into space, and my sister is having a baby in seven weeks. It's all gonna be a-okay.

Tagging @blightwashed @skogrr @styxdysnomia and uh... anyone else who hasn't done one recently, the brain's not braining, see above re: mental void. It's just echoes all the way down in here, folks.

[bullet-prooflove]

Oops I Did It Again! - Another Award!

Oops I did it again!

I am very proud to announce that my business Luna Creative Academy has won an award for the best Editorial Service of the Year!

This is my second award of the year and I am very honoured to have been nominated and have won!!!

[credensjusitiam]

It’s my birthday tomorrow so I did a thing.

(Adam Bear, Adam Bear)

[ladyhallen]

You ever get an AO3 email update from a fic you followed forever ago and just squint and go, wait, what we're u about again?