Chapters: 2/2
Fandom: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game), Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Luke Castellan & Zhongli, Luke Castellan & Annabeth Chase
Characters: Zhongli (Genshin Impact), Luke Castellan, Dionysius, Apollo, Hermes, Annabeth Chase
Additional Tags: Zhongli is Yanwang Dijun | Rex Lapis, Crossover, Summoning, zhongli starts a revolution and kicks out kronos, he's like luke's sugar daddy, except platonically, Zhongli has not changed his war tactics and it kind of shows, if any of his immortal friends were here it would be just non-stop commentary, ITS SO FUNNY
Summary:
Luke Castellan is desperate and desperate people do anything, even reading dubious magical textbooks left behind by an angry child of Hecate in the Hermes Cabin.
Or that fic where Zhongli falls like a meteor on the static gods of the PJO fandom and leaves a dizzyingly large crater behind.
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game), Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Luke Castellan & Zhongli
Characters: Zhongli (Genshin Impact), Luke Castellan
Additional Tags: Zhongli is Yanwang Dijun | Rex Lapis, Crossover, Summoning, zhongli starts a revolution and kicks out kronos, he's like luke's sugar daddy, except platonically
Summary:
Luke Castellan is desperate and desperate people do anything, even reading dubious magical textbooks left behind by an angry child of Hecate in the Hermes Cabin.
Or that fic where Zhongli falls like a meteor on the static gods of the PJO fandom and leaves a dizzyingly large crater behind.
Here's some of the notes, starting with the things multiple people brought up:
SHRIMP COCKTAIL:
banahbanah: #flashback to that one fic where Peter Parker frets about drinking shrimp cocktail because of the alcohol
generaldeliciousness: adding: what a prawn/shrimp cocktail is
#why is your character turning it down because they're under 21 #do you think prawn cocktail is a cocktail #this lives in my brain rent-free constantly #the rest of the fic was so normal #and good enough that i'll still re-read it #but bro
And then many, MANY, people wondering if this was actually authour mistake, since Peter really would do this!
POMEGRANATES:
zhajhassa: #haha where's that post that was like someone describing someone eating a pomegranate but they ate it like an apple
thornhands: #once someone wrote persephone biting into a whole Pomegranate #had to stop and stare at a wall for a minute
sungsingsanguine: I once saw someone very confidently write about a character eating slices of pomegranate.
FRUIT TREES:
zagreuses-toast: #given a very endearing glimpse into a writers blindspots by seeing them describe someone sitting under a ''pineapple tree''
salatrash: I remember something about picking watermelons... OF A FUCKING TREE
baander: #cranberry trees
DOUGH/BATTER:
maycelium: #I'm a chef so I'm really used to people not accurately describing how to cook food #But I was surprisingly flabbergasted when someone was writing making a cake and was kneading it. Which uh #Not necessary for cake. It was interesting for sure but just bizarre
livebloggingmydescentintomadness: #the one that drove me nuts was when a character set aside a batch of PASTA DOUGH 'to rise' #pasta doesn't have yeast!! #it does need to REST but it will never RISE #you do not want an airy crumb on your noodles
lovesodeepandwideandwell: #THE ONE WHERE THEY MADE COOKIES BY LADLING BATTER INTO A TRAY
Some other topics:
ANIMALS:
catenarwhal: #mandatory 'how cows produce milk' mention#i'll never recover from that one I fear
piromantic: #one time i saw someone fake their way through describing how spiders behave
pluto-lichen: horses
misskittypotter: #stardew valley faking its way through what fresh fish smell like
pa-pa-plasma: #saw someone faking their way through knowing what a seal is once #i still am fucked up over that one to this day. they just straight up did not know #& they were NOT good at guessing it either like it was clear they had never googled that animal ever #& was only just now realizing via answering questions from anons that seals are not!! what they assumed. initially
SEX:
dykevandyke: #what a prostate is #and where it is located #as in. external.
dreamyeyedrose: #I remember back in the ff.net days reading an Ichigo/Renji fic where the writer assumed the penises go inside each other #and I was like “I mean I don't know how it works for sure I don't have one but idk if that's how it works”
SOME OTHER FOOD STUFF:
thetrekkiehasthephonebox: #add another one to the list bloggers#this character is cooking a salad
shosta: #still baffled about the published work that didn't know food could freeze
sun-dari: #once i read a fic where the author didn't understand cinnamon
alto-tenure: #read something recently where the author was just. blatantly wrong about spices
dramatic-dolphin: #i saw someone try to fake their way through what ramen is once. like 14 years ago.#but i remember.#i was very confused about ramen for a few months. they were writing it so authoritatively.
the-celery-stalks-at-midnight: #i will never ever forget someone putting leftover fries in the microwave to reheat them and setting the timer for five minutes
typeghost: #this sparked a memory of a hannibal fic where the author had to fake their way through writing about gravy
draculin: #the one fanfic where the author knows about coffee only as a concept wrote a character as a coffee drinker#was very interesting#I don't remember the fandom or the plot but I was mesmerized by the coffee actions and choices
11235811235811: #there's a lot of faking their way thru congee in the svsss fandom i'll also note
fishali3n: #read one where the person clearly didnt know what tofu is
emmy-everafter: #in the aftermath of shadow and bone s2 i saw a lot of people pretending to know what stroopwafels are #babes they are more like cookies than breakfast waffles #like yes there is a waffle pattern but you're not gonna cut into a stack of them with syrup and sugar#🤣🤣🤣
NON-FOOD STUFF:
red-umbrella-811: Shoutout to Dame Agatha Christie for faking her way through what a wrench is in a very popular published work.
bluebeetle: #once saw someone have a character put an entire phone book in their pocket
nonametis: #- sex talk in languages other than english #<- or just the petnames in a different language other than English
sadisticpony: #the fanfiction i saw this week where op DIDNT KNOW HOW AUTOMATIC DOORS WORKED #and that they arent in peoples homes!!! of course. also opening the automatic door for someone is unironically very funny but its not #its not like. grabbing the door handle to let someone in. helpppp
danmeichael: #reminds me of the fic with the figure drawing class where the character started with the feet. #i love you feet first figure drawing author
meowmix1100blr: #me watching this one fic absolutely obliterate what the board of directors does
vexedhexes: #one time i read an architect character making a doorway bigger by building a bigger door #what a beautiful world. #OH. also gravity falls fic where they go 'oh piedmont is in california so its warm all year round'
leveragehunters: #characters going to a beer garden #And it's literally a garden outside the pub#It was a very cute mistake
fitofpique: #yes! #grown men do not get blind drunk off two beers #but i am possibly guilty of the hypothermia one #assuming it does not make you very horny?
dadvans-likes: #always thinking abt the soup kitchen fic #the entire setting of the fic was 'soup kitchen' #and i very quickly realized #the author did not know what a soup kitchen was #and they thought that soup kitchens only served soup #fic
msmargaretmurry: #i love fanfiction #once read a fic where the characters played 20 questions #but the author seemed to not know how to play 20 questions and was just kind of winging it........ #immaculate
shakespeareaddict: #Look I know not all of us are hockey experts #But it takes about ten seconds of research or any attention paid to the show to realize #That the Stanley cup playoffs are not in fucking September
baejax-the-great: #the funniest one i saw #was someone faking what church is like #like 1. they really didn't have to write an entire church experience for their fic #and 2. they had clearly never even watched a show where people went to church #it was bonkers weird
twosunson: #things ive seen authors faking #knowing how to unclog a drain #knowing. literally any history #knowing what ketamine looks like (apparently- oregano) #(you know who you are)
waterhorseyblues-ao3: #beltane being celebrated in winter #wales being portrayed as a completely separated land from england (i wish) #characters getting up after weeks of bedrest like that dosnt completely fuck you up
violetfairydust: #i once read a fic where the flight time from london to seattle was 3 hours
purekesseltrash: One time, in a fic set specifically in Des Moines, IA, two of the characters casually drove 20 minutes to the ocean. The memory continues to delight me. I want to know where that author thought that Iowa was.
“Batman wishes I was dead.” Jason no, baby, he just wants you to stop cutting random dude’s heads off in the middle of the night in Gotham. And not even because he disagrees with you, but because Batman is the one Jim Gordon calls to come deal with the mysterious cut-off heads at 5:00 am. That man just got off patrol and now he’s gotta go look at some bloodstained duffel bag in the Narrows with Jim Gordon who’s hitting his emotional support vape like it’s an oxygen mask. Bruce can’t stand the smell of cotton candy. Do you see where I’m going with this, Jason?
#things James Gordon would say for 500 (via @sillybirdhole)
no but really, how long do you think Jason runs around being Red Hood before Jim Gordon corners him one night, sucks on his vape hard enough to make Jason genuinely worried for his lung health, and says "you know...your old man's gettin' real tired" and Jason instantly does the whole "oh so he's tired of pretending to care about me when--" and Jim cuts him off, waving. hits his vape again for an alarming amount of time, exhales pure 100% cotton candy into the night, and says "I mean tired. like he isn't sleeping." and Jason shrugs all "well what do you want me to do about that?" and Jim Gordon turns around, looks him directly in the eyes of his helmet, raises his vape up and says "stop fucking killing people and cutting their heads off in the middle of the night" like it's obvious. which, it kinda is. the man is TIRED. and Jim Gordon is tired of Batman being tired around him. it's making them both exhausted. like oh boy, another duffel bag of cut-off heads! what a mystery! and it's fuckin' gross. it's gross and it's not even an actual complex crime for them to solve and yet. yet. they are getting up out of bed -- scratch that, they're not even going to bed before this -- to come deal with this bullshit. middle of the night, random stinking warehouse. every. single. goddamned. time. so when Jim Gordon says Batman cares about you, he means he is the only one other than me who's patient enough to deal with your dumbass cut-off heads at three in the morning. STOP. fucking. cutting. off. HEADS.
Idk if other religions or countries have different customs, but my religion in my country dictates seven days of prayer for the deceased and a mass every night. Thats two hours of prayer every night followed by socializing with relatives that just popped up to pray or see people. Three hours taken for seven days for this. I am so tired. Two more days to go.
The parking attendant paused by the double-length bay. Intended for mobile homes and cars with trailers, it was currently occupied by a sleeping dragon.
No parts of it extended beyond the lines, and the paper ticket was clearly displayed, impaled on a horn.
I love how the notes for this are just chock full of examples of the most batshit specific things people research for their fanfics. Truly a treasure trove.
“I want to write a fic about this but I don’t think anybody will be interested in it” ummm hello excuse me ma’am what do you mean you don’t think anybody will be interested in it??? YOU. YOU ARE INTERESTED IN IT???? write it because YOU are interested in it and YOU want to write about it. fanfic writing should always be first and foremost about YOUR enjoyment, not other people’s.
If I had a nickel for everytime a close relative died when a sibling gets married, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it's happened twice.
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