#rlcpers

[letscreatesomething-beautiful]

Hi guys! I began a blog last week and will be posting poetry, personal thoughts and photography there. I am going to try and be consistent and post notifications when I post. Go read the 2 posts I have written so far.

Believe in Yourself

Senses of Life

[letscreatesomething-beautiful]

Hola!

Sheesh! It’s been a long while since I have written a post here. I haven’t even been reblogging as much. I guess I’ve been trying to focus on my art, myself, my life purpose. I think I will try to post more here. When I first made Tumblr it was used as an outlet, such as like a diary or a place to share my personal thoughts and poetry. 

I recently have been working on a poetry book through createspace, which allows you to self-publish. I suggest if any of you are looking to self-publish--that you should give it a go. Lately, I have been feeling very optimistic and hopeful. Can’t believe this year is about to be over! 

New Years Resolutions:

1. Budget/Save Money 2. Pay Off Car 3. Travel Somewhere(even if I have to go solo) 4. Get In Shape 5. Face Fears 6. Be My True Authentic Self 7. Stop Negative Self-Talk, Self-Doubt 8. Lighten Up

[letscreatesomething-beautiful]

Book Coming Soon!

Hi guys,

I have been working on my first poetry book since this Summer, and I believe I will be able to release it before Christmas! I am hoping that you will purchase my book once all finally touches are complete. I will be selling it for $7 dollars via createspace and amazon. I hope my words are able to comfort and resonate with at least one person. Thanks for the support, I appreciate it.

[letscreatesomething-beautiful]

Read my new article.

[letscreatesomething-beautiful]

What is dating & relationships to us millinnials??

[letscreatesomething-beautiful]

In Due Time, I suppose

My older brother is planning a trip for him and his girlfriend; whom he has been with for a while now(Like 6 years I believe). When my brother comes to me to ask for advice about present ideas for his girlfriend; it makes me really happy for him. I don’t follow any family here, so I can say this, but he is finally going to propose to her in January! He wants me to come with him ring shopping, I’m so excited for him. 

But just as I am excited for him; as well as excited for friends, I also feel a bit sad. As I think about my past and relationships; I realize I always got the short end of the stick. I’ve never surpassed a year with anyone; I was always the one going out of my way, looking weeks/months in advance to get the “perfect” present. And yet, in all my relationships, I never received any gifts on birthdays/holidays, I’ve never even posted pictures of myself with a lover on social media; why? Because I fear they are only temporary and I haven’t been wrong yet. I’ve never gone on any trips with lovers!!

I’ve always wanted to do that, to travel with a lover; even if it’s just traveling together within California! I wanna plan out an evening when we reach our anniversary! I wanna experience those things! Will I ever get to experience such things? In a sense, it makes me feel some type of way. As if I’m not worth going out of the way for, as if I’m not worth planning cute/meaning outings with. Maybe in due time, I suppose, but I’ve become quite the cynic in the past few weeks/months, when it comes to relationships and love. 

[letscreatesomething-beautiful]

In This Generation

In this generation, one thing I find extremely hard is Dating. A few years ago, I gave online dating a shot, it didn’t really lead to anywhere or anything serious. I’m the type of person who likes long-term relationships, I’ve never been one to want to be in a fling or hook-up. I want something meaningful and consistent. A relationship in where we help each other grow, reach our dreams, support one another and help to calm each other’s minds(soul, heart, body) when in stressful times. In this generation it’s very hard to find that. I feel after a break-up, we are very cautious as to who we get involved with next. Especially with this whole side chick/side piece thing going on. How can you even trust that you’re the only person they’re talking to? We may come across someone worthy, but are too scared to take the leap; out of fear of getting hurt once again. Honestly, I feel when it comes to romantic relationships and love, I’ve become quite a cynic and I’ve closed my heart off; don’t know when it will necessarily open up again. I wrote this because I’m sitting at a part, there’s a lot of couples here being all cute! *barf*

[letscreatesomething-beautiful]

Comparing myself to others, lately....

I feel I am pretty confident in myself when it comes to decision making and confident in general. But for some reason this morning when I woke up, I felt and still kinda feel a bit down about my circumstances. I usually never compare myself, but for the last few weeks, I have found that I compare myself to others. Such as "wow, she's beautiful, if only I had bigger this or bigger that" "if only I were this or that, maybe I'd be more pretty/beautiful etc etc". We live in a superficial world; the way one looks is everything. I don't agree with that at all, but it's hard to not let societal ideals of beauty sneak in your head, when it surrounds you on a daily. 

I feel this has taken a bit of a toll on my self confidence lately. I look at other people my age and I see them happy with their career, in a steady relationship, living in their own place----and I think how all of that seems so far away and out of reach for me. It makes me feel like a disappointment and it doesn't help that since I still live with my mom, she sometimes reminds me of what I "lack". I keep getting opportunities, but they aren't my true passion. I'm a bull and very stubborn; I'm in a battle with myself. Do I want to keep going after my passion or go back to a career I feel stuck with, just because I studied it in College? I keep thinking of that post here on Tumblr about all those celebs such as bill gates, oprah etc who got turned down yet used those failures as an advantage to create something even better. I have patience, I can only hope that the best is yet to come.