#roach studies

[sucharide]

proud of myself. managed to cut down my 7 uses of the word 'penetrate' in my essay section about erotic death in Dracula to only 3

[sucharide]

oh okay i didn't actually bomb my last philosophy essay nearly as bad as I thought I would have lmao???? i got 75%? which is. like. squarely a pass. a respectable pass, even.

like I am not doing well, but I didn't shit the bed as bad as I thought. which is... wild. I did not consider what I wrote to be even remotely university level. anyway, I think the essay I just wrote should be passable if that piece of shit was. thank god.

[sucharide]

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anyway. I can do this. i've sobbed my way through 1400 words so far. i just need 400 more to make the minimum requirement. And I did! 1200 of those words yesterday! They aren't amazing, but I think they will pass. I hope to pass the class overall, but if I dont, at least I do love this class and I will be able to meaningfully engage with it another semester if i have to.

And I have a reason to power through this today. which helps a lot.

[sucharide]

another mountain of notes taken. essay still not written. this philosophy shit got hands.

[sucharide]

. Essay rambles

man i love nietzsche but i sure do fucking hate reading other people's takes on his work. jfc. some of it is clear and well written! but some of it is just so........................ I don't know. Philosophy texts are tricky because different communication styles of philosophers will speak to different people. Nietzsche expresses his complicated ideas so beautifully and so clearly through a sort of poetry. But they are complicated. They are on the edge of being outside comprehension.

So when other people come along and try to explain his ideas language that is not poetic.... it's just... god it gets messy fast. One of the essays my teacher recommended is a goddamn nightmare. It's like they wanted to sound more philosophical, so they layered on a few "thing and unthing" phrases just to make things sound more metaphysical. Nothing like layers of obfuscation to communicate your meaning more clearly, right?

I hate to sound like my own Tav in that Professor Raphael fic... but......... hm. It's. it feels like masturbatory rubbish...... (oh god, i'm a second year undergrad student writing a philosophy essay, too.... was that fic a self-fulfilling prophecy?).

I am sure it is just that I am not smart enough to understand it....... but it really reads like a big ol' wank.

Idk. I can excuse the great thinkers of the past for their hard-to-understand writing. They didn't have editors. I get it. Kant can do his horrific thing. But you, academic-in-the-20th-century-who-I-shall-not-name-because-honestly-that-would-feel-rude. You had an editor. I know you fucking did. So why the fuck are you writing like you have one hand on your dick the whole time?

anyway. uh. I like philosophy but some of the writing styles in this field are... insufferable. I know it is ultimately personal preference. The topics are so abstract, it's just, certain writers will speak to you more than others. I am glad that Nietzsche seems to speak to me, at least.

[sucharide]

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so im excited that i am starting to elucidate what Nietzsche is on about in The Birth of Tragedy, and im psyched bc like!!! yay!!! im starting to follow what he's talking about!!!!

but then we hit chapter 19 which is just.

man that guy did not like opera.

im not really getting the philosophical point he is making

but it is clear . Nietzsche was NOT a fan of opera.

[sucharide]

lmao nietzsche just dunked on socrates so bad???

"We know what was the sole kind of poetry which he comprehended: the Æsopian fable[...]"

if i was socrates and another philosopher said that about me i'd kill them i think

[sucharide]

ok im boasting abt this bc its so nice after my last very abysmal grade,,, I got full marks on my most recent assessment, and it was a creative writing based one so! that feels so sosososososoooooooooo good.