Translated from Farsi by Farhad Azad
[caption: “The Little Robabi” by Farhad Azad, September 2002, Kabul. Once the draconian period drew to a close in Kabul, music could be performed in public again.]
Yousef and I attended three robab practices per week. For us, our maestro was a remarkable person. He played the robab with superb skill and charm. He was a man who had quick, skinny fingers, and with passion and vigor, he made us feel that our greatest hopes could come alive. I remember he didn't like anyone touching his robab. Whenever practice ended, he placed his instrument in a cloth pouch. Under his breath, softly, he lectured us, "Don't touch my robab. It is made by Wasel. If anything happens, it cannot be replaced."
I was 18, and Yousef was 20 years old. I was shorter than him. We had many wonderful dreams. We wanted robabs made by Wasel, its strings, frets, and mother-of-pearl motifs would sparkle. Our figures would dance on the frets of that instrument, and steer the passion of the listeners enchanting and spellbinding them... We would sit for hours in a day planning what we would do if we got a hold of a robab by the maker Wasel. What melodies and styles would we play? What fabric would we use? How would we protect it from dust and moisture? And if we became owners of this robab, we would keep it close by our side and never lose it.
Two years later, Yousef's wish came true. A fond patron presented Yousef a robab made by Wasel. He would use it only on the occasions of performing with a famous orchestra or recording at the radio. He carried the instrument with honor and gained total success with it.
For years, I wanted a robab made by Wasel, but I was unable to get a hold of one. On the rare chance, if I found one, I couldn't afford the 40,000 or 50,000 afghanis price. I can never forget how day and night it bothered me not having one. I swore to God if I could find a robab made by Wasel, I would take great care of it and always have it next to me.
Thirty years passed. I had not seen Yousef for some time. Likely he was 50 years old now. Possibly he had a wife, kids, and even grandkids. They said his robab was his best friend and partner. He wasn't away from it for a moment, and because of that instrument, he didn't socialize with anyone.
One afternoon, my younger son entered the house happy and beaming, like a blooming flower. He was excited, face full of delight. His body radiated with joy. He held an instrument in a pouch. When he came close, his eyes sparkled. With enthusiasm, he said, "Robab, that robab that you were searching for years and always wanted."
Then with happiness and satisfaction, he presented the robab. I hastily grabbed the instrument. Spastically my hands removed the cloth. I stared at its body, frets, and mother-of-pearl inlay designs. It was amazing, a robab made by Wasel. I felt as if I had found a treasure. With awe, I asked my son, "Where did you find it? How?"
He instantly said, "I purchased it from an acquaintance at an antique store."
I asked, "Where did you get the money?"
He said, "I bought it on credit. I will pay it off by the end of the year."
I was thrilled. I wanted to hug the robab. I calmly asked, "Where did the store owner get it?"
My son answered, "He didn't say. He only said that these days, lots of people are selling their instruments."
A doubt came to my mind. I wasn't convinced. I studied the robab's kasa and dast. Inscribed on the kasa read "robab made by Wasel" and the construction date. It was 50 years old. My son looked disappointed and said, "You don't like the instrument? It has the markings that you wanted."
In my mind, I began to search. Suddenly my heart collapsed. There was another name finely carved on the instrument's kasa, "Yousef".
My son lost his patience, "It is genuine. Don't you see the wood and frets?"
I felt a burning sensation in my stomach. I asked God for it not to be Yousef's robab. When I strummed the strings and heard its sound, I had doubts and told my son, "You are right. But you don't know..."
My son cut me off, "You don't like it? What is wrong with it?"
I had to confess, "There is nothing wrong with it. But this is your uncle Yousef's robab."
When he heard Yousef's name, his face turned white. His became irritated and unsettled. He sulked. It was the first time I saw pain and grief in his eyes as if everything had ended. I looked around, the walls, the ceiling, the light, the carpet, everything winked at me. They all opened their mouths and spoke, "You will not be the owner. It is not your fate."
All my dreams and aspirations that I had fostered throughout my life, I now found them startlingly in ruins. Slowly night arrived. I closed my eyes. I couldn't sleep. My head hurt and eyelids were burning. I heard my breath throughout the night. I was exhausted. My shoulders and arms ached. I sat in my bed, placed my head on the wall, and started to think. The night was long. I tossed from side to side. During the night, I got up five times and played Yousef's robab. My mind was worn out. Several times I got out of bed to drink water. I woke up with the sound of the door opening. The skinny silhouette of my wife appeared. She brought breakfast. She placed the tray in front of me, and I learned from her that Yousef still lived in the same house.
I don't know how I decided. There was no sun. The atmosphere was gray. I grabbed the robab from the hook on the wall, and I left my home. It was cold outside. Not a soul was on the road, and the street lights were off. I hadn't seen Yousef coming around here for three years. The day he refused to lend me his robab, our relationship ended. From friends and acquaintances, I would inquire about him. I knew that he and his family weren't living comfortably.
After ten minutes, I arrived close to Yousef's home. From the down the street, a young man was walking. He looked like Kasem, Yousef's son. His hight, face, and walk resembled Kasem. When he got close, it was him. Happy to see Kasem, I greeted him. After a few steps, I had an urge to ask him, "Is your father's robab in the house?"
With sadness, Kasem answered, "A month ago a rocket hit our home, and we had to leave. After a few days, we returned, and someone had taken the robab."
My heart shattered, hearing him. Following Kasem, I was full of worry. I couldn't speak a word about the robab. I felt like a wolf who had lost his prey. My teeth rattled seeing the yard. I shivered as if I had a fever. My body got cold and hot. When I looked further at the yard and the home, to me, it looked beaten up. The walls were cracked. One of the rooms was in pieces. The remaining windows were draped with cloth and plastic. In the middle of the yard was a big crater, the trees around were split in half. The yard was blackened and dusty. Not one spot was clean. Its red flowers, roses, petunias, four o'clock, colorful, white, orange carnations, vegetable beds of peppers, eggplants, chives, leeks, the leafy apple, plums trees, and grapevines could not be recognized. I walked towards the entrance. No footsteps could not be heard in the hallway, as if the entire house had fallen asleep.
What a cramped and dark home it was. The doors and windows were all damaged. A thick odor lingered. The room was covered with patched up mattresses and pillows. Yousef sat at the end of the room. I was shaken when I saw his face. For the first time, I saw Yousef weary. His temples were all white, and his eyes sunken. His cheekbones stuck out and his forehead was wrinkled. He had lost weight, while his back was hunched. He felt embarrassed about this visit. He quickly composed himself and said, "Where have you been? What makes you come here?"
I sat next to him. He was stiff. I presented him with the robab. His hands trembled, including his figures. He quickly turned the robab on its back. He looked ashamed and unsettled. When his eyes laid on the kasa, dast, frets and mother-of-pearl motifs, tears slowly fell from the side of his eyes. He thought to himself. He handed the robab to me and slowly said, "Tune the robab."
I started tuning. I don't know why he didn't do it. I thought he was testing me. I tuned the instrument and gave it back to him. Yousef started playing. His figures danced on the strings and frets, striking a somber tune. He didn't play for long, and asked, "How was it? Is the beat, right? It is tuned okay?"
His voice was cloudy and dry. From suffering and grief, he trembled. I praised and encouraged Yousef, and he started playing again. With an unusual sensation, he gripped the robab. His tears fell on the frets and strings. He played as one with the instrument. The song was from his sad heart and soul. At times, with the slightest vibrations, he expressed his sorrow and pain. His gentle and pleasant melody related to his tragic fate and his sad, broken heart. My body stirred with emotion. I forgot everything, from the bottom of my heart, I listened to this spellbinding music.
Kasem poured tea for his father and me as well. I couldn't pick it up, it was too hot. The mild aroma filled the air. After he finished pouring, he moved his head towards me and whispered into my ear, "After the rocket hit, my father cannot hear anything."
Born in Bibi Sang Village, Ghazni province in 1949, Hussein Fakhri is a noted author and has published numerous collections of short stories, and he is the recipient of many literary prizes.
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