Hey love, I don't know if you take prompts but I adore your writing and cannot get this out of my mind:
"I've waited six years for a night of normality with you, Aaron." ✨️🥹
I hope this along the lines of what you wanted!
It's all going wrong.
Aaron rushes from the bathroom as the timer beeps, swearing. The shampoo's not out of his hair yet but the tray needs to come out now or it'll burn and it's all a mess because damn it, Aaron's nervous.
Aaron doesn't do nerves when it comes to dating. He's confident, assertive, and he goes after what he wants when he wants it. It was even that way with Robert when they were starting out, while Robert was with Chrissie. He knew he shouldn't have but he wanted Robert and he didn't stop until he had Robert underneath him.
It's changed in the six years since Robert went to prison. Maybe it's because Aaron knows what's at stake - every other relationship he's had has paled in comparison to being with Robert - or maybe it's the fact that despite knowing Robert better than anyone else, it's like they're starting over.
After six years of being ex-husbands, the prospect of dating Robert Sugden makes Aaron question all his choices and he wants tonight to be perfect.
He put the tray of a dish he's learnt to cook in recent years, a chicken tikka tray bake that's easy to throw together. A part of him found it because Robert used to love a tikka masala and Aaron's cooking it tonight because he wants to show off. After it went in the oven, Aaron realised he was out of beer so he rushed out to the shop, and then had to rush his shower but spent 10 minutes agonising over whether to trim his beard or not.
The result is Aaron, walking through his flat in a towel, dripping water on the floor to make sure the chicken doesn't come out dry.
Of course, just as he's put the tray on the counter, Robert knocks on the door.
Aaron answers the phone on the doorbell with a "come on up, I need a minute" before he opens the door to the Mill and unlocks his front door. He rushes back to the bathroom and jumps back in the shower, and while he rinses out the last of the soap he hears footsteps through the living room.
"Aaron?" Robert says, voice carrying through the flat.
"Give me a minute," Aaron yells from the bathroom.
"No problem," Robert yells back. "Smells amazing!"
Aaron smiles at that and washes the last of the soap off before switching the shower off. Aaron gets dressed - tight black jeans and a loose t-shirt - and walks into the kitchen to find Robert setting the table.
"I'm sorry, I lost track of time and then -"
"It's not a problem," Robert says with a smile. "Thought that I might as well help while you finished up."
"Stop it... I'm supposed to be treating you to a home cooked meal."
"I get one of those every day."
"Yeah, but this is different."
"Yeah, it is."
They walk around each other, getting things ready. When Robert can't find the place where Aaron keeps the water jugs, Aaron feels a pang of something that he has to point it out. Years ago, this dance would have been seemless. Now, Robert needs direction.
It'll come with time, Aaron tells himself.
"So," Robert says as Aaron indicates for him to take a seat. "What's the special occasion?"
Aaron shrugs and starts plating out food. "Do I need a special occasion?"
"No," Robert says. "You usually don't cook unless you're forced to do it."
"Well, I had to learn..."
"How many ovens have you been through?" Robert asks.
Aaron picks up the nearest tea towel and throws it at him. "I'm trying to make this special, stop mocking me."
"Alright," he says, holding his hands up in surrender. "I'll be quiet."
Aaron starts plating some rice and the chicken onto some plates and it's only when Aaron puts a plate in front of Robert that Aaron realises Robert's got tears in his eyes.
"Robert? What's wrong?"
His face softens and a smile spreads across his lips. "Nothing's wrong," he says with a heavy voice.
"I know that's not true."
"No, it's not a bad thing, it's just... You know, in the six years I spent inside, this is what I missed the most."
"What, my awful cooking and a chance to mock me?"
Robert grins and a tear falls down his cheek. "Yeah, something like that. I know it's different and I know we've changed but I used to think of nights like this. When I'd cook and we'd laugh, and I just remember being so happy... I've waited six years for a night of normality with you, Aaron. I just can't believe I've got it back."
Aaron walks around the kitchen island and wraps his arms around Robert's shoulders, holds him close.
"I love you," he says softly and Robert looks up at him, grinning like an idiot.
"I love you too."
Aaron presses a kiss to Robert's lips and breathes him in. "Now," he says after they've broken apart, "taste so I can stop being so nervous."
I wrote a little something, because I can't stand the current situation with Aaron. I don't usually share what I write, but here it goes.
Aaron's been pushing it aside, rather successfully, for months now. It's nothing in the grand scheme of things really, some shared dna markers and a last name. It doesn't affect him in their daily life together, at least it hasn't so far.
The first time it does affect him though, it hits him like a smack across the face. Actually, he would have much preferred a literal smack.
John's taken him out, wants to treat him, and Aaron's reluctantly agreed. It turns out it's that bloody Italian restaurant near the hospital in Hotten and suddenly he's having vivid war flashbacks of Dr. Alex. Aaron regrets the analogy off the bat, John is the one who's been to war and has both emotional and actual scars to prove it. Still, Aaron can't shake the images of the doctor with the perfect hair and how close he had come to cheating on him... with Robert.
The thing is, Robert can't be on his mind now, he just can't. Not that he ever can, but especially not now, when he's about to be wined and dined by John. Pull yourself together, he tells himself and attempts a faint smile when his boyfriend looks at him.
That's when the smack across the face blindsides him. He hears John say they have a reservation under 'Sugden' and it's like Aaron realises, for the first time, what it means. What he's actually been doing. He feels a bit sick, suddenly the collar of his shirt is too tight, and he can feel the colour is draining from his face. He doesn't hear John anymore, all he hears is a medley of "Mr. Sugden" and "Mr. Dingle" and "I love you, Mr. Sugden-Dingle first" and it's fucking heartbreaking.
'I have to go', he hears himself say in a voice he doesn't even recognise as his own. John just looks at him with wide eyes and an open mouth. Aaron takes off but not before John tries to grab his arm to stop him. Aaron shakes himself free, and mutters 'sorry' under his breath. He's tearing up and he knows he's making a scene, but he runs for the door anyway. The cold December air that hits him makes it even harder to breathe for a second or two, but being outside still helps. Being on his own helps too.
Aaron starts walking, hands in his pockets, eyes already red from crying. He hasn't cried about Robert in a long time, he doesn't even know how to anymore. He's locked Robert away, ironically, in a place that's almost unreachable. He's done it with Jackson, Ben and Liv too, but not quite in the same way. It's okay to grieve them, people understand when he needs to do that. They're all gone - Robert is too but in another, more dangerous, way. The others can't come back, but Robert can.
Given what Aaron knows about Robert, he will come back, because where else would he go? To find Seb, sure, but then? He'll come home. It might not even be that long, Aaron realises. Five years have already passed. It feels like twenty.
He feels the guilt creep up when he dares to actually think about it. Robert coming back to the village where he was born, became a dad himself, got married. Only to find his ex-husband living with his new half brother. It doesn't matter how angry Aaron still is, or how hurt he was about being blanked and divorced. What he's been doing with John suddenly feels wrong in every way. How could he have let it go so far? Why hasn't the people around him questioned it more?
His brisk pace has taken him halfway home. He feels sick again when he sees the lay-by coming up in front of him. Where he was with John wasn't exactly here, but it was close enough. Aaron stops in his tracks and wipes his eyes. He sees it now, what he should have seen all along; the lay-by, the barn, the woods... He's been living in deja-vu mode without even noticing. Has he been projecting his feelings onto John? Or is something more sinister brewing beneath the surface?
Well, whatever it is, it stops now, Aaron decides. He takes a deep breath and as he starts walking again, his mind feels clearer than it's been in a long time.
Now that Aaron was far, far away from the village (a village where no one clearly understood him not like his Robert always did) and staying with his best mate, Adam, the fog that the past few years had brought on began to clear.
As the pressure and stress faded, he realized what was always staring in his face but couldn’t admit it to himself fully - his so-called family, those that were meant to look after him steered him to become what THEY wanted him to be - THEIR crutch, the good son doing and getting what THEY wanted from him but what was HE getting in return? Nothing really - he was allowing them to run his life while he himself had to suppress/bottle his feelings (for THEIR sake making himself miserable inside while pretending to be ‘okay’ on the outside) all the while trying to come to terms what his life had turned into - one without Robert and one where everybody once again turned their backs on his husband for hurting Aaron. He didn’t even recognize himself anymore, the man he became with Robert had went in hibernation to suit others.
Enough of that! Now that the fog was cleared, and with Adam’s full support, Aaron set about doing what he should have done years ago - fight for his husband, especially now that there was a chance, however slight there was, to appeal his case and get his idiot husband of his heart out and home to him for good this time. He would choose Robert once again like he always would have done if not for the interference of his family. Robert always said he deserved to be happy. Well happiness meant being with the nightmare of an idiot that is Robert, anything else was just biding time, going through the motions.
Now fast forward some time and Aaron has his Robert back. He is taking on the role of the strong one, helping Robert cope with the time he spent in prison and both are learning to adapt to who’ve they’ve become since they’ve been apart. They don’t return to the village even though they have good memories there (Aaron has their photo album, their rings, the leather jacket and the letters he never sent to Robert with him, no reason to go back), it’s not enough to counter the toxicity that still exists courtesy of both their families. They will never let them be and will always try to interfere in their lives. They restart their dream of a large family of their own once their heads are both in a good place. They also have Sebastian now that his mum is no longer in the picture.
So, in the end, what Robert said on the evening of their first wedding became a reality: ‘… and it’ll pass… however long it is… and then you’ll come home to me and we’ll never look back, okay?’
They never looked back and embraced the future they deserved - together!
I spent three hours driving yesterday and needed something to occupy my mind through the drive, thus little ficlet was born. It's not much but wanted to share it!
Robert takes Seb upstairs after dinner and deposits him in his bedroom while Aaron cleans up after dinner. By the time Aaron is done, Seb is deeply engrossed in his imaginary world playing games and Robert is in the shower. Aaron flops onto their bed - belly full and satisfied. He scrolls through his phone mindlessly while he hears the background noise of the shower spraying and Seb playing in the adjacent room.
That is, until he hears a whiny, “Da-addy,” come from down the hall.
Aaron perks up from the bed and listens. Seb knows that Robert is in the shower, as is the ritual every night in the Sugden-Dingle household. Not hearing Seb call out again, Aaron goes back to his phone, thinking maybe Seb is playing some game.
Not a minute after Aaron goes back to his phone, he sees Seb standing at the threshold of Robert and Aaron’s bedroom. “Daddy! I was calling you!”
Aaron’s stomach drops when he sees Seb looking straight at him. Seb always calls him either Aaron, or Papa Aaron, he has never called Aaron ‘daddy’ before. "I'm sorry. What's up little man?" Aaron asks, making a face at his words. They feel like they've been plucked out of Robert's mouth.
"I need help making a blanket fort!" Seb says decisively, and then takes off to his room. With a small smile, Aaron follows Seb into his room. There’s a right mess of blankets already strewn across the room, and they get to work.
By the time Robert gets out of the shower, the pair have made a sizable fort that can fit them both under the blankets. Seb is cuddled next to Aaron while he reads a book.
“What’s all this?” Robert asks with a delighted smile.
“Daddy and I made this blanket fort!” Seb tells Robert excitedly.
Daddy? Robert mouths and Aaron gives a shrug, unable to contain the grin that forms on his face.
“Budge over,” Robert says, kneeling down and crawling into the blanket fort with Aaron and Seb. Seb settles between both Aaron and Robert and Aaron proceeds to finish the book.
“I have the best daddies ever,” Seb announces when the story is over. He squirms into the floor for a bit before closing his eyes. Robert reaches over and squeezes Aaron’s hand. Aaron puts the book down and he rolls over to scoop Seb into his arms and Robert drapes his arms over Aaron’s waist as they both close their eyes.
They’ll probably regret sleeping on the floor tomorrow morning - they’re not the young men they used to be - but in the meantime, Aaron feels as though he’s in heaven. Cuddling with his son and husband, what could be better?
“Daddy daddy!!!” – came the tiny voice. By the time Aaron looked up from scrolling on his phone his daughter stood there in front of him – in her pyjamas - looking quite upset.
“What’s wrong?” – he asked already alarmed as he put his phone down, to give his undivided attention to the little girl.
“I’m bored.” – she pouted as she crossed her arms over her chest. It was understandable. She just turned 3 recently and had to stay at home because of a little cold. It wasn’t serious, but Robert was adamant that she should take the week off from nursery. So Aaron stayed at home with her, secretly loving all the quality time they could spend together. There was one thing he didn’t count on though. – “Let’s have a tea party!” – she grinned already organizing things. Aaron tried to argue, and offer an alternative – yes he would’ve even read any princess story - but it was pointless. His daughter was just as stubborn as he was, and on top of all that she had that adorable little smile that was basically impossible to say no to.
That’s why Robert took a double take after he came home that afternoon and found his husband, on the ground, with a miniature tea cup in his hand, pretending to drink.
“No daddy you’re doing it wrong!!” – lectured the girl – “You have to hold it like this.” – she said lifting up her pinkie. That was the point where Robert started laughing.
“Hi there. I see you’re a bit occupied at the moment.” – he said smirking at Aaron.
“Just wait until it’s your turn.” – he fired back, and true enough, 2 minutes later Robert was sitting down next to them, joining in.
They never thought that one day they would be happy to have a fake tea party with a 3 year old, but somehow it felt good. Right there in that moment, it was perfect.
Aaron was staring at his phone, he knew Robert was meeting with his solicitor to get his masterplan sorted, but Aaron hadn’t seen him in almost 2 days and he missed him. He’d refused to take a key to Robert’s flat, insisting that the only key they needed was the one to the Mill. But that also meant he couldn’t just drive to Hotten and let himself in to wait for Robert to get back.
“Heyyy, what’s up? Wassap???” Paddy said, giggling at his own comment as he sat down on the empty barstool next to Aaron.
Aaron raised an eyebrow at him and turned his attention back to his phone.
“Who are you texting?” Paddy tried again. “Setting up a hot date?”
“Did my mum send you over to ask about the guy she thinks I’m seeing?”
“No! No, of course not. No, no, no. I’m just making conversation. As you do, you know. I say Hi Aaron and then you say something back and I say something again and -”
“Yeah I get the idea, Paddy, thanks.”
Paddy is interrogating me. Mum’s sending in the big guns.
He hit send and grinned to himself, picturing Robert reading the text.
“So are you? Setting up a hot date?”
Aaron looked past Paddy to Chas who was pretending to clean glasses on the other side of the bar.
“You might as well come here so Paddy doesn’t have to repeat it to you later.”
“I’m your mother, I just want to know you’re alright.” Chas said, throwing down the cloth and walking over to them.
“I’m fine. More than fine. I’m happy.”
“Tha-that’s good isn’t it Chas?” Paddy asked and Chas nodded.
“So are you going to tell us about him then? The bloke that has you smiling like that all the time.”
Aaron’s phone beeped and he smiled when he read Robert’s text.
We’re almost done. And then your mum can have a meltdown when she finds out I’m leading you astray again.
- Happy to be led astray by you any time.
Come over tonight? I’ll cook.
- I’ll be there at six. Please be in so your neighbours don’t think you’ve got some creepy stalker that’s always hanging around your flat.
Cute stalker ;) I’m on my way home now. See you at six. x
- That flat is not home. Home is here.
Home is wherever I’m with you.
- Cheesy.
True though. ♥
“Earth to Aaron?” Chas snapped Aaron back to reality. “You were going to tell us about your boyfriend...”
“Right... uhm... well... what do you want to know?”
“Everything. What’s his name? How do you know him? Where did you meet him?”
“Right. Of course... uhm...” Aaron stammered, trying to buy himself some time as he tried to think of something to say. “His name is uh... it’s Jacob.” he told her, mentally patting himself on the back for telling his mum the truth without her knowing anything.
“Jacob?!” Paddy asked. “Jacob from down the road??”
“What? No! What the hell do you take me for? He’s Liv’s age!” Aaron shuddered.
“Right. That’s... yeah...”
“He’s a few years older than me. He’s 35.”
“You always go for older blokes don’t you?” Chas commented and Aaron shrugged.
“Suppose so.”
“Well you can’t choose who you fall for, can you? Tell me more about this Jacob.”
“Well uhm... he lives in Hotten, moved there a few months ago from down south... he has a 3 year old son...”
Chas frowned.
“A child that young and he’s already split from the other parent and involved with you? Are you sure that’s a good idea love? You don’t want to get caught up in family drama. It’s complicated when there’s kids involved.”
Aaron tried his best not to roll his eyes at his mother’s words. If only she’d remember those when she finds out who Jacob really is.
“It’s fine. He’s a good guy and a good father to his son.”
“You’ve met his son?” Chas asked and Aaron nodded.
“How long have you been seeing him again?” Paddy cut in.
Aaron smiled.
“It feels a lot longer than it’s actually been.”
“That’s not an answer.” Chas insisted. “Where did you meet him?”
“We uh... met through a mutual acquaintance.” Aaron told her, thinking back to that day in the barn all those years ago.
“Mutual acquaintance. What does that even mean?”
“Just... someone we both know. But not a friend.”
“Right...”
“Look all you need to know is that he loves me and that I love him.” Aaron said and stood up. “And if you don’t mind, I’m going to go see him now. I haven’t seen him in two days and I miss him.” He pocketed his phone and turned to leave the pub.
“Tell him we want to meet him!” Chas called out after him and he gave her a sort of half wave to let her know he heard her.
A few hours later, he was curled up in bed with Robert, after thoroughly making up for not seeing eachother for 2 days, just listening to the traffic outside and Robert’s heartbeat.
“So I told my mum and Paddy earlier.”
“Oh yeah the interrogation. How did they take it?” Robert asked, tracing patterns on Aaron’s bare shoulder with his fingers.
“Well... I didn’t exactly tell them everything.”
Robert chuckled.
“Did you invent a boyfriend? Aren’t you a little old for imaginary friends?” He teased.
“I didn’t make anything up!” Aaron propped himself up on his elbow. “I told them the truth... but in a way that they don’t realise I did...”
“What did you tell them?”
A mischievous grin appeared on Aaron’s face as he thought back to the conversation with his parents earlier that day.
“I told them I’m seeing a guy called Jacob. Paddy thought I meant Jacob from David.”
“What? You’re joking.”
“Nope. I told him my Jacob was 35 and had a 3 year old son and that he’s a good guy and a good father... and that we met through a mutual acquaintance.”
Robert full on laughed now.
“You might as well just tell them it’s me. They’re going to figure it out.”
“Do you really think my mum knows your middle name? Trust me, she doesn’t have a clue.” Aaron said and settled in Robert’s arms again. “This way I won’t have to lie, she’s satisfied and won’t keep digging, and I can just be with you whenever I want without having to make up some excuse to go to Hotten.”
“Does this mean our second affair is over now?” Robert asked a few minutes later.
“Hmm... maybe? Nobody knows who I’m really seeing... but we’re not really lying either, are we? Hiding in plain sight?”
“Yeah until it all blows up in our faces when they find out your Jacob is me.” Robert sighed.
Aaron moved so he could look Robert in the eye.
“I don’t care what they say or do. If they make me choose, I will choose you. You and Seb are my family, the rest of them can deal with that or get out of my life.” he insisted and kissed Robert for emphasis.
@bigemmerdalefan wanted a one-shot of Aaron removing his ring and wearing it on a chain based on a post/tag on some gorgeous art by @illgetmerope . This little Drabble came to me...
***
“Don’t you think it’s time, love?”
Aaron had frowned at the words. He’d known what his mum was hinting at, but he hadn’t wanted to accept it. Not ever.
It hadn’t been the first time she’d said it. And she wasn’t the only one who’d mentioned it either. He’d seen the way people looked at him: pity in their eyes, glancing down at his left hand and lingering on the wedding ring still in place for too long.
They all thought he needed to move on. And it wasn’t like anyone even took pleasure in it. Once upon a time, his mum (amongst many people) would’ve been pleased to see the back of Robert, but these days it was obvious that she missed him being around. It seemed like a lot of people did, but no-one as much as Aaron.
He felt like his whole life had been put on pause. It was like he was hardly living at all. It had been that way for years now and he could understand why everyone seemed so keen for him to move on. The years were slipping by and he was frozen in time, clinging to a man he still loved with all his heart and holding onto a dream that couldn’t be any more.
He missed Robert so much. The pain wasn’t as sharp these days; it didn’t feel like a knife to the chest gutting him every morning when he woke up alone anymore. But it was a constant ache; a constant reminder that he’d lost the man he loved.
Twisting the ring with his thumb, he stared down at it. It had been there for so long; he hadn’t taken it off in so long.
He knew everyone would keep going on at him. He knew it would just be a reminder to them all that he wasn’t dealing with it. He knew they’d start to fuss and worry and he couldn’t cope with that. He didn’t want them watching him, waiting for another epic breakdown.
Drawing in a shuddery breath, he gripped the ring and twisted it off his finger slowly. Then he held it between his thumb and finger and smiled softly to himself. There were tiny bumps and nicks all over the surface of the metal, hardly visible unless you really looked, and for a moment he marvelled at how symbolic that was. That was them - covered in scars and damaged, but still strong and whole, still meant to be. They would be again - eventually.
He slipped the ring onto the chain he’d bought. A simple silver thing that no-one would notice.
He moved to the mirror so he could fasten the clasp after he’d passed it around his neck and then he spun the ring back round to the front so it hung down against his chest.
Let them think he’d removed it. Let them think he’d forgotten. Let them think he could move on. He wouldn’t. He’d wear the ring every day, hanging from chain, hovering just above his heart. He’d wear it like that until the day it could go back to its rightful place.
Placing his hand over the ring as it lay against his skin, he breathed out and closed his eyes.
@littleatticboy because you talked about Robert, Aaron and bookshops. 💓
(Warning: this fic includes Seb so if that isn't your cuppa...)
Sometimes the smallest things take the most room in your heart. ~ A. A. Milne
Aaron has never been a big reader. It's not to say he doesn't like it. He does. But he tends to be picky about what he reads due to the fact that most books do his head in. Aaron likes complex things though (look at his husband, so really). He'll pick up books about little strange histories: footy, cars, boxing, mechanics. Every once in a while he'll read a mystery. Not those cozy ones that his mum loves (and manages to talk Robert into reading if she really likes it and Robert will because he is a soft touch) but thrillers that leave him shook.
His family is a different story.
Robert likes to read...everything.
He hadn't known that about Robert until the one week at Home Farm during their affair (the week that changed everything). They'd exhausted themselves from fucking everywhere they could those first two nights. Had ended up in Robert's bed finally and Aaron had woken up, pressed against Robert's side, one of Robert's hands playing with the loose curls on Aaron's head, and the other holding open a book.
Aaron stared at him, noticing how his face changed as he read, how he looked so at peace in this world he was in. Robert had caught him eventually, grinning at him as he took the time to save his page with a bookmark (something Aaron learned later Robert always did, bent pages in books drove him nutty) before rolling Aaron under him and taking him apart.
Later, when they became them, really and honestly, for the first time, Aaron would go with Robert to book shops, follow him around and try hard not to roll his eyes at Robert's excitement when he found a new book to add to his ever growing collection.
When they'd got Liv, the trips had become longer because, it turned out, his little sister liked to read, too. Not the same as Robert (she teased him constantly about his Stephen King obsession) but she likes fantasy, horror, and eventually she and Robert found common ground when they discovered their mutual love for manga and graphic novels. He'd stood watching them for 15 mintues once as they pored over a copy of Watchmen (he's still not sure what that's all about and honestly that's fine) and he'd had to turn away from what that did to his chest.
Usually Aaron went his way to look at magazines or some of the manuals he likes to find and leave them to it.
Then came Seb.
Having Seb changed so much and Robert wanted to instill a love of books into their son.
(Aaron had asked him once why he loved books so much.
Robert had shrugged, buried his face deeper in Aaron's neck and mumbled a quiet, "They make me feel closer to my mum."
Aaron had squeezed Robert tighter.)
When they took their first trip together to the bookshop on a day out in Leeds, Aaron had steered Robert to the new book section as Liv wondered off towards the back. He'd taken hold of Seb and walked with him toward the children's section. The bright, happy colors made Seb clap a little and Aaron kissed his head, found the book his mum had read him a little boy, and sat down to read it.
He wasn't sure he was any good at doing voices but Seb's gaze never left Aaron's face, blue and wide, as Aaron read him the story of the 1000 Acre Woods, a little lonely boy named Christopher and his friends.
By the time they got to Pooh Bear stuck in a tub of honey, Aaron's voice was fading and Seb's head had lulled to rest on Aaron's shoulder. He shut the book quietly, turning to see Robert and Liv standing to the side. Liv gentle smile turning into a smirk and Robert looming at Aaron like he was the most amazing thing in the world.
"What? You said, didn't ya?"
Robert had shaken his head, leaned down to kiss Aaron firmly as he took Seb and the book with him toward the till.
It became a tradition as their family grew, their kids got older, and Aaron found that he was a reader when properly motivated.
