shit I have heard a 3 year old say while doing childcare
“me speaking” , “three year old speaking”
“I have a sister like you have a brother”
“Well I used to have a lollipop”
“What food do you have?”
“I have a face napkin”
“The fire is all gone. Now the firemen are going to live here for 10 days”
*sitting outside, pretending to eat play food*
“BURP, no time to waste!”
*gets up, runs to the other side of the year, and sits back down*
“My house is on fire”
“Okay, but is your baby sick?”
“No, my house is on fire”
“Okay, let me get a snack in case I get hungry in the truck”
“I see lots of bunnies. But sometimes they jump out of my net into the cruise ship”
“Look at my rocket blaster! But remember, it’s a toy. It can’t go to real outer space. If it was a remote control it could go far but it would get stuck by the wire”
*looks at a letter m he wrote*
“Well that looks like underwater goggles”