"What are you doing still up?" Buck asks him, entering the kitchen as Harry grabs a coke from the fridge. It's going to be a long night, so Harry gives no fucks about the caffeine right now.
Harry gives Buck a judging look. "I could say the same thing to you."
Buck lightly taps the top of Harry's head. "Hey, I'm your elder. I'm allowed to judge and not be judged. And besides, I'm not the one who has school tomorrow."
Harry doesn't give in that easily. "You literally have work."
Buck stares at him and Harry breaks underneath his gaze.
He sighs, putting the coke back in the fridge in second thought. "I'm just a bit nervous."
Buck leans back against the counter, body language open and relaxed. "I thought you said school was going well."
Harry opens the fridge back up again, and this time grabs water.
Buck makes space for him as he grabs a glass, pouring himself and Buck one.
"Yeah. It is. I'm doing well, it's... It's really fulfilling, you know? It's nice to actually feel like what I'm doing has a purpose. I finally feel like I know what I'm doing with my life."
Buck hums thoughtfully, taking a sip from his glass, and giving Harry space to gather his thoughts.
"It's just... A lot. And-and I'm scared I can't handle it. I'm so tired all the time-and I want this. I want this so badly, but I can feel myself burning out, and I don't know how long I can keep at this for."
Buck nods, and Harry squeezes his glass maybe more aggressively than needed.
Buck's put in so much effort in getting Harry here. If Harry drops out...
Not only will Harry be a disappointment, but he'll have wasted so much of Buck's time and energy.
He shouldn't be telling him this.
Buck's hand squeezes his shoulder, pulling him out of his thoughts. "Hey, you with me?"
Harry blinks, looking up at him. Buck's not staring at him with any judgement or frustration. There's understanding there and patience. More so than Harry deserves.
Harry nods, looking away. "I'm sorry, Buck. I know this probably isn't what you wanted to here."
Buck squeezes his shoulder again. "Hey. No, I don't care about that. I just want you to be happy, okay? If firefighting isn't for you, that's okay. You're trying something new and that's awesome! And if that were the case, I would support you full heartedly, okay?"
Harry tries to believe him. It's hard, it goes against everything that Harry believes, but there isn't a hint of a lie in Buck's voice.
"But," Buck continues, dragging the word out slightly as he tries to make eye contact with Harry again. "It doesn't sound like that's the case. It just sounds like you're burning out, which is natural. The academy's intense. It's not meant for people to work and do it at the same time. It is supposed to be your life. It's your job and that's your biggest commitment for the next five months."
Harry wilts a little as Buck speaks. It is a lot.
Harry whips his head over to Buck.
Buck smiles at him. It's soft, and it looks like he's reminiscing. "Genuinely, Harry. You've worked so hard for this. I know you have. I know there's not necessarily any way for us to make it less stressful, but if there's anything I can do here. If there's any additional help with homework. Or if I can even drive you to class or pick you up. Anything that you need to make it easier. Let me know, okay? You're doing great. I know it's really hard right now, but you can get through this. I know you can."
Harry's rendered a bit speechless. Everything that Buck has just said...
It means the whole world to him.
"Thanks, Buck." Harry tells him, trying not to get teary eyed.
Buck smiles at him. "You're stronger than you think, Hare."
Harry waves him off, officially hitting his cap of too many emotions.
Buck just pulls him in for a hug though, and Harry can't find it in himself to pull away. He wraps his arms around Buck back just as tightly and the two of them stay there for a few moments, just existing quietly.
Eventually, when they pull away, Buck gives Harry a ruffle of the hair. "Try to get some sleep, okay? We can talk more tomorrow."
Yeah. It's probably for the best anyway.
"Okay," Harry says with a nod. "Good night, Buck."
