#roman lob

[guysofeurovision]

[wobblyjellyfish]

Germany and Australia pls

GERMANY

Total 2010s participations: 10/10 competitions

Best result: 1st (2010)

Worst result: 27th (2015) / 26th (2016) [both last place]

Shoutout to Lena’s moody second foray into Eurovision in 2011

3rd: Standing Still - Roman Lob (2012)

This song is just lovely. The lyrical content may be sad, the beat is catchy and a little more upbeat than expected, but works perfectly! The whole feel of this performance is so soft and gentle. And Roman himself is such a cutie! A lovely entry that I think deserves more love. 8.5/10

2nd: You Let Me Walk Alone - Michael Schulte (2018)

Ah, German Ed Sheeran! Another more downbeat entry from Germany, and a refreshing one from so many ... mediocre previous songs. While it sounds a bit sadder than Standing Still, Michael’s song is so incredibly sweet. And the graphics of the mini match the song perfectly (and is a little hilarious considering Lisbon’s ‘no LEDs’ stance). Thoroughly deserved the result. 9/10

1st: Satellite - Lena (2010)

Once again, fun and happy rules the day! This has been one of my favourite songs, even outside of Eurovision, ever since I first watched the 2010 final when I was 12. Lena is such an adorable precious bean and throughout her entire performance she looks like she’s having the time of her life. Sometimes a cute fun bop is all you need. A well deserving winner. 10/10

Send a country!

[michel-pierre]

Underwater barefaced hottie

[borisbubbles]

2010s Eurovision: 393-390

393. Raphael Gualazzi - “Madness of love” Italy 2011

Ugh, this troglodyte.Much like “Suus”, “Madness of love” is always heralded as One Of The Best Songs In Eurovision, but unlike “Suus” I absolutely do not understand why? “Suus” despite its many flaws at least was something unique (thank god). “Madness of love” however is nothing but a painfully generic jazz ballad, a dime a dozen. It’s so mind-numbingly tepid. Which of course begs the question: Do I rank "Madness of love” this low because I hate the song or because I hate its fans?🤔 Hmm, well, I certainly DISLIKE everything “Madness of love” represents within the fandom, true, but Salvador is a much more prominent manifestation of the same evil. So yes, I mostly just really hate the way Raphael performs it. I can’t stand his voice, I despise his Salvadorian miming, I cringe at lines such as “being so far away from your makes me feel so DEADDDDD”. BORING AND VILE!!! How did it even get that high. Oh wait... it’s Italy. BETTER HAND THEM SECOND PLACE OR ELSE THEY MIGHT WITHDRAW AGAIN. #Vaporize2011

392. Dilara Kazimova - “Start a fire” Azerbaijan 2014

Good lord another of those songs/performances that is SO. FUCKING. LIFELESS. ugh. 😞

Shockingly, I think “Start a fire” has fans and... why? It goes on forever and is literally never engaging. Yes, the lyrics are beautiful, I guess.. What isn’t beautiful is Dilara’s diction when speaking said lyrics. I cannot understand a *word* and I fucking KNOW the lyrics (nearly) by heart. Depressing, boring, lifeless, overrated, should’ve died in the SF so Suzy could’ve lived, etc. Yup that sums it up. NEXT!

391. Mørland & Debrah Scarlett - “A monster like me” Norway 2015

But This One Of The Best Most Emotional Songs Ever, Y’All~ SHADDAP!! Even if I take aside Debrah Scarlett’s voice (which is a crime in its own right), I REALLY fucking hate “A monster like me” lol. It’s another one of those critically acclaimed ballads that is said to be ~edgy, dark and unique~ and therefore high quality, 🙄. In reality though, not so much.

You see, the most critical flaw here is that "A Monster Like Me” raises more questions than it answers: WHAT was the ‘terrible thing’ Mørland did in his early youth? WHY is he a ‘monster’? WHY is Debrah Scarlett there? Does she want to separate or not? Why does she too call herself “a monster”? HOW come *she* is the “prince you thought you saw in me”? 

Instead of answering these key questions, the song transposes in to the most generic, LoveBalladesque middle eight and final chorus EVER. Open ended storytelling can be a good stylistic choice, but here its in open conclict with the narrative itself. Mørland and Debrah are discussing their break up while smiling benignly as upbeat romantic music plays in the backgroup. Are you going to be dark and moody or romantic and optimistic, “Monster”??? DECIDE ALREADY. In sum,: By not resolving its story, “A monster like me” remains a non-sequitur. 🙃 It really just is shallow, shitfaced schmalz and I hate it.  😊

PS: It’s “A monster ~such as I~” 😊

390. Roman Lob - “Standing still” Germany 2012

Another recurring theme you might have noticed: The Eurovision Bubble goes buckwild for a supposedly Good Song and well well, said “good song” is actually really generic, poorly written and shyte.😏  “Standing still” I suppose is a good title because IT DOESN’T GO ANYWHERE, both rhythmwise AND storywise, but I prefer the Lobified title of “STANDING STOOL” because the live performance is a giant turd, further accentuated by its poo-brown lighting and Roman’s regurgitative diction. (seriously. He sounds more Danish than German) 

However, because Roman is one of 2012′s supposedly “Hot Guys” (somehow?🤔), he finished in a very generous 8th place, beating the likes of Gaitana and  Kaliopi along the way. Gotta love it when White Male Mediocrity triumps over those kickass People of Colour and iconic HardRock Diva’s yo~

[eurovision-boys]

[eurovisionopinions]

[emmadeforests]

Kat's ESC Discourse S5 E20: My Controversy 4 -- Roman Lob, Standing Still (Germany) don't hate me for this i am a sucker for breakup songs and he has a pretty voice 3 -- Compact Disco, Sound Of Our Hearts (Hungary) ROBBED, ROBBED I TELL YOU, GODDAMN AZERI TV STUCK THEM IN THE HELL SLOT AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT THEM I LOVE THIS SONG IT IS A JAM IT IS,,, IT IS GROOVIN, AND I WILL PROTECT IT also does hungary literally only have one backup singer because i swear that same woman was the backing girl in 2013 too

[guysofeurovision]