The general sense I had watching this season was that RuPaul actively didn't want to either a) be there, or b) to have to watch and judge UK drag. That is, drag that follows historically British style, culture, personas, and popular references and meta. So the challenges didn't lean towards it, the UK celebrity choices in Snatch Game were changed by Ru ‘correcting’ the queens’ original picks, hardly any of the challenges leaned toward specifically UK references, and in the ones that did, the queens that interpreted things in a particularly UK way were punished.
In terms of UK-style drag, Kitty's roast really laid bare how Krystal didn't offer much in that regard, due to her struggles with comedy, hosting, acting, singing, sewing, and basically anything besides lipsyncing, makeup, modelling and acrobatic dance routines. That, for whatever reason, was what RuPaul wanted in a winner, as well as a sense that the person had some kind of unresolved drama that perhaps RuPaul the producer thought would make more compelling tv. Unfortunately, none of that really resonates with a British audience. So this season largely felt like a huge mismatch between what production/Ru valued, what they thought the audience would positively respond to, and what the British audience actually responded positively to.
I think the season would have benefited from a bit of flexibility within the challenges. They've done lipsyncing and makeup-oriented challenges before as main challenges. At least picking one of those in place of some of the challenges they went for would have elevated Krystal as a worthy competitor. Or, letting her lipsync in the bottom 2 would have cemented her place as somebody fighting to stay in. Giving her two wins at the start and then letting her coast until it was Vanity's 4th lipsync is probably the worst possible way they could have sold the least-British drag queen to a British audience.
The ironic thing about RPDR UK is that three seasons in we have zero evidence that Ru actually likes British drag. It seems that he finds British people and certain accents inherently funny (Lawrence, Scarlett, Baga), and otherwise awards the most polished pageant-style queen out of the cast every single season.
Meanwhile, the fans tend to root for the people that exemplify the local culture best. There’s rarely the crossover needed for a satisfying conclusion to the season.
Why I don't really care who wins Drag Race Season 13 - AKA the power of framing and editing
As I've said before, I thought from the start and throughout the season, Rosé fitted the bill most of what Drag Race as a show and franchise repeatedly suggests it wants a winner to be able to do. The show rests on the premise of putting queens through a string of loosely-connected challenges aimed to sort the super queens from the baby queens, so to speak, rewarding the queen with the best overall performance across various challenges. This season, that's Rosé to a T. And how production have tried to conceal that week on week!
Despite her experience, professionalism, and legitimate areas on which she could be criticized - e.g. the overuse of tulle fabric, her edit was all over the place and seemed designed to paint her as the hardest of the top 4 to root for - a la Courtney Act in S6. Her run is very similar to Courtney's in a lot of ways - assured of herself, not needing to go on a journey per se, with strengths in performing, presenting and singing. Every week she's been someone new - the bitch, the mom one, the haughty one, the woobie, the bro, the winner. No consistency, ironically given her impressive track record.
Symone is clearly very talented but I don't feel she has had either cohesive storyline or defining Moments that were given enough focus. That's a little similar to Jaida last season, but at least the re-edit to remove Sherry probably helped to spotlight some of Jaida's big hits like her makeover and Look Over There, while Gigi falling by the wayside in retrospect has given Jaida retroactive kudos for challenges like the Ball and Rusical. For Symone, I feel like there hasn't been enough light and shade. We saw she was bad at sewing, but she was safe, and it was never mentioned again. She struggled in the Rusical, but then it was never mentioned again. She was Safe for imo her best runway, the white bullet holes garment - so didn't receive a moment of critiques or acknowledgement of how powerful that was.
As for Kandy and Mik, where do you even start? Ironically enough, I think there are many seasons I would have connected more with Kandy, if she had been cast in them. In the final acting challenge when she didn't have 3x everyone else's confessionals, I liked her a lot more, because she wasn't edited as if she was constantly sniping at everyone else because we weren't always hearing her opinions and no-one else's. A combination of challenges that didn't allow her to shine and oversaturation didn't help her come across well to anyone except those predisposed to like reality tv shows based around one focal character out of an ensemble cast.
Regarding Mik, it's hard to root for someone for whom this is clearly a game and a vanity project. Mik's story on the show is an exercise in what isn't said and what's left to be read into by the viewer. Such as; the fact Mik already is a highly-paid professional in a separate field regularly working with celebrities. That her earnings per year are already in excess of the prize money. That she comes from a wealthy family. That - like Symone - she's a look and runway queen who didn't have a hand in making 95% of her (expensive) outfits and gowns.
Last season was refreshing despite the favouritism directed towards Gigi Goode,whise faults were similarly excused and whose background was handled with kid gloves. But what is Drag Race any more? A competition to change a deserving winner's life and kickstart their career? Or a wealthy kids' playground to muck about in a studio for four weeks?
I am simply never going to understand why the producers of drag race thought, for season 13:
The pandemic is still on & the gays are going to be stressed. Here's a novel idea! Let's cast a bunch of haughty and manipulative girls & encourage them to bully every queen the fans like. They'll love it!
I continue to not enjoy season 13, but having said that, maybe some of it is down to the general limbo state the world is in right now.
As such, I've thought about what the edit's showed, what the narratives & story arcs seem to be, and as such put together a few predictions for the rest going on.
Next out prediction: Elliott. Reason: seems the weakest remaining & has already had her storyline. I predict Elliott vs Denali elimination because Elliott is probably the 2nd strongest lipsyncer remaining. 9th
8th Utica. Reason: losers group queen who has already been shafted by production. Predicted lipsync: Denali vs Utica, in order to give Denali another B2 to justify her going.
7th: Denali. Eliminated because it will be her 4th B2. Eliminated by: Olivia or Tina. Leaning Olivia because...
I predict 6th: Olivia, and it will be easier to eliminate her if its not her 1st B2. For storyline reasons, and to spare the others a bottom placement, Rosé will eliminate her.
5th: Kandy, eliminated by Tina or Mik
Top 4: Symone, Tina, Gottmik, Rosé
So lipsyncs upcoming: (predicted)
Denali-Elliott
Denali-Utica
Olivia-Denali
Rosé-Olivia
Tina-Kandy
Meaning our top 4 will have each lipsynced once apart from Gottmik, who I predict to be shielded à la Kim Chi in S8.
In terms of edit I expect the Tina-Rosé rivalry bubbling back up, and for Denali, Utica & Eliott to fade into the background. Kandy will win at least one challenge. Gottmik will win the makeover, and I'd expect Tina and Symone to win one more each.
Season 13 Sassy Reviews: Episode 02 - Condragulations
Oh mama. This one didn’t do anything to address the strangely - and unnecessarily - tense atmosphere, and instead actively stirred the pot with bizarre remarks from Tina, Kandy and LaLa, and our first (but surely not last) instance of blatant producer favour.
Let’s get into it.
So episode 2 opens with the Porkchop girls being forced to *actually*, no gag, vote off one of their own people based just off of first impressions. Because...what we really needed in 2020/21 was for a group of marginalized people who had had their income and culture taken away for six months to, on first meeting nationwide-reaching colleagues who could become friends and found family, to be instead forced to create divisions between themselves. Really?
So the group votes out the kooky queen and the queen wearing the least feminine clothing, and then when it comes down to a re-vote on just those two...production makes all the queens vote again until a sacrifice is chosen. Seriously unpleasant stuff. Rosé, the queen who objects most virulently to this, is painted as haughty and self-important by the edit for...literally raising valid concerns and trying to stand up for the group. So I guess our hopes of the show moving on from having a vendetta against Jan and any of her friends are crushed just like that.
Then we cut over to the ‘winner’ group of queens. Production-influenced or not, they spend a LOT of the episode crowing and boasting about how brilliant they are, after all, they’ve all made the massive achievement of.... being voted by Ru to win a lipsync in the previous episode, including some VERY questionable performances.
The BIG TWIST that no-one could have seen coming is that... gasp, MAYBE the 7 eliminated queens weren’t actually eliminated on day one of a show that hasn’t had less than 9 competitors ever. And then the queen the losing girls voted out, Elliott with 2 Ts, is introduced to join the winning girls.
As I said in my previous review, it feels really bizarre in the same season that every second word out of Ru’s mouth is chicken soup for the soul about self-love and how actually they’re all winners, to actively go out of your way to split girls into two groups, one of Losers and one of Winners, in which the Winners get smoke blown up their ass about how they are better, and kind of reinforced by the show by focusing on them and only them in episode 2. Especially if they’re going to just proceed to do a split premiere group challenge LIKE THEY DID IN THE LAST SEASON without needing an arbitrary way to justify dividing the girls.
Anyway, the dolls have exactly the same mini and maxi as E1/2 of S12, which... I’m not sure how I feel about. Obviously everyone really enjoyed it in season 12, but a straight redo feels lazy.
Mini-challenge: present two runway looks with a loosely connected theme. Maxi: perform a RuMix with original verses to a new Ru song. Runway theme: a material.
So onto the mini first. All of the queens do broadly as well as each other, with - to my eye - Gottmik being head and shoulders above the group nailing both runways, Olivia Lux’s day look being the second best look on the runway, Tina Burner doing the most impressive bodywork out of the group on her night look, managing to compress her substantial body into a tiny vinyl-latex-esque miniskirt and tube top, and Symone being wildly overpraised for simply having a slim and fit physique that she decorated with material, a la Courtney Act from S6 or Naomi Smalls from S8. Brace yourselves, because this won’t be the first time.
The maxi challenge is a hot mess. The song isn’t great, and the queens take wildly varying approaches in terms of style, genre, and tempo. If you thought Roxxxy Andrews’ random singing on Read U Wrote U was out-of-place... for Condragulations (providing an episode title drop) by my count, three queens give us a rap, two queens sing, one queen gives us spoken word and one queen (Gottmik) gives us literally two bars as an intro.
And onn that note, there’s a bizarre production moment during the rehearsals for the performance in which a moment in which Gottmik experiences gender dysphoria, for including his gender identity in his verse - “I was born a girl” (which, in itself... is that really how a trans person would self-describe rather than e.g. AFAB? I kind of feel like I don’t know how I feel about that line going out to a straight audience) - is represented as Gottmik not having any idea that the other queens would hear his verse. In a group challenge. Where the challenge is to each perform a verse of the same song, as a group, in front of each other. Ok Henny.
The choreography is not great in the challenge, with the best performance of the group going imo to the underrated Elliott, who is, of course, a dancer. Despite the fact that Tina Burner, having lipsynced against her in E1, was well aware of this, Elliott was shut out of the choreography discussion by the other girls - who throughout the episode gave Elliott the cold shoulder & even, bizarrely accused her of being a spy! - for who, QAnon?? Elliott, not wanting to rock the boat, kept quiet, only to go on to NAIL her own performance with a jump split and impressive, confident verse, with dance elements throughout.
So naturally she wasn’t put in the top 2 for the episode, despite everything in the storyline pointing to the ONLY REASON you would separate the queens into winners and losers and then bring back a loser would be for a redemption (RuDemption?) arc. Nope!
The top 2 queens are of course...Olivia Lux, who to be fair, performed her socks off in the challenge and wisely wore an outfit that accentuated her movement, and...Symone. Again. Who wore this.
Whose verse consisted of a walk to the center of the stage and pretty poor lyrics and vocal (”the ebony enchantress...is me” is giving Mariah in all the worst ways). Who looked a little manic during the performance. But who - like Ru - is tall, slim, and statuesque. Anyone else getting S2/S3 flashbacks?
Off the bat let’s make something clear. I don’t dislike Symone. I think she’s a fierce queen, I think she definitely won the top 2 lipsync, I think she’s an excellent lipsync performer, and she has a great body and a great swagger as a drag queen. And I know she can do flips and acrobatics if it calls for it - look for yourself on youtube.
But I think favoritism drags the show down, and ESPECIALLY - as we saw in S12, too - when applied to queens like Symone who are ALREADY among the strongest of the group. Let’s face it, on skill alone, Symone is likely to pick up at least 3 wins of the 11 weeks of this contest. So why stack the deck by giving her an early 4th?
Olivia Lux, the other top 2 queen, performed decently in the lipsync, but was perhaps a bit literal with the lyrics. Her runway gown was highly praised by the judges, but for me was on the simpler side, although she definitely sold it with her walk and attitude. All other queens were given an equal Safe this week which... may or may not have been used to shield the worst performers overall this week, Gottmik and Kandy, who were unsure of themselves during the performance and made a few slips.
I’m ending this week as I ended the last one - wary, but hopeful. After such a focus on how entitled and unpleasant the Winners were in this episode, perhaps the next episode will cast the Losers in a more sympathetic light. My favorite and second-favorite queen, Tamisha, and Denali, are in that group, and I’m hoping to get good confessionals and meme-worthy moments from them if nothing else. And also, I’d hope that this team have bonded and will give a better performance as a group as a result. Although the threat to eliminate one of them next week given by Ru at the end of this one seems like insult to injury in terms of creating division.
Was S12 a fluke? Will S13 be another S11? Will I start genuinely liking any of this? Be here next week to find out~ xoxo
WHAT IF: The Season 13 queens competed in Season 3′s challenges
As I raised in my previous post, in retrospect I feel that one of the weakest aspects of season 13 was not simply that the queens were less talented than in the previous year; but more so that the challenges of season 13 - that leaned heavily towards dance and performance - did not suit this cast, and especially not the members of the cast favoured by production, who leaned more towards fashion and acting at the top of their skillset.
So this series is going to put the queens of season 13 through their paces in some other past seasons of the show, with a few modifications to bring up the style of those seasons towards the modern format.
All make sense? Then let’s hit it, below the cut:
Season 3 kicked off with the Gone with the Window design challenge, calling for the queens to make gowns from curtains. All queens entered together with no split premiere. Immediately this nixes the bad blood in the group from the Porkchop twist and will see the queens building more natural rivalries based on location, taste and reputation. As it’s a design challenge with unconventional materials, I see Utica, Gottmik and Denali doing best in this challenge. Kahmora will do well but her timing will drag her down, while Rose is likely to have questionable taste level. Symone and Lala Ri will struggle, but, like season 9, this will be a challenge with winner and highs, but no other placements or elimination. Mik and Utica lipsync for the win to “The Right Stuff” and I see Utica winning.
E1 DESIGN
WIN Utica
TOP2 Mik
HIGH Denali
NO ELIMINATION
The second episode is the Queens in Space acting challenge, which the queens will complete in teams. For ease of prediction, I’ve assumed the teams will take roughly their season 13 splits - logically, Tina, Gottmik and Kandy will have bonded, as well as Symone, Lala and Olivia, making a 6. In the other team, Kahmora and Denali go back a long way, and Rose and Denali would have hit it off. I don’t see Elliott or Utica making a splash with the winners’ circle, while Tamisha will be avoiding Lala and Joey Jay Kandy, so the ex-Porckchops will be the 7 this time. I see Kandy and Symone stealing the show as the two-headed alien and leading their team to the win. Meanwhile in the other team, we know Denali and Kahmora struggled in the first acting challenge, as did Elliott. For drama’s sake, a B2 of friends Denali and Kahmora is guaranteed, and we know how that goes from season 13 - Kahmora sashays away following the performance of “Bad Romance”.
E2 Acting (Space)
WIN Kandy + Symone
HIGH winners team from s13
LOW Elliott
B2 Denali + Kahmora
OUT Kahmora
Episode 3 is the Fitness Video challenge, where the queens have to do a fitness routine with comedy elements. Knowing Ru’s sense of humour, there’s no doubt in my mind that Kandy Muse wins this challenge. Highs will go to Rose and Denali for energetic routines. I see Tamisha and Gottmik struggling most in this challenge and lipsyncing in the B2, and I see production keeping Gottmik. The lipsync song this time is “Don’t Leave Me This Way” and the drama of Kandy winning and her best friend being in the B2 would be irresistible.
E3 Fitness
WIN Kandy
HIGH Denali + Rose
B2 Mik + Tamisha
OUT Tamisha
Episode 4 is the News Show acting-improv challenge. I think Olivia Lux has the right kind of bright, bubbly character to excel at and win this challenge, while Rose and Symone would also be funny. From past performance, Elliott, Utica and Lala Ri would struggle with this challenge, and Joey Jay would have been flagging for several episodes now. I see a Lala and Joey B2 with Lala eviscerating Joey to “Meet Me in the Ladies Room”.
E4 News Show
WIN Olivia
HIGH Symone + Rose
B2 Joey + Lala
OUT Joey
Snatch Game goes pretty much as it did in OG S13, with Mik winning and Utica knocking out Elliott in the B2, while Denali and Rose place High.
E5 Snatch Game
WIN Mik
HIGH Denali + Rose
B2 Utica
OUT Elliott
Episode 6 is the cake-and-clothes design challenge. Once again I see Utica winning this challenge with something incredibly creative, while Olivia, Mik and Denali place High. Symone and Lala will fall apart this challenge and be the bottom 2. The lipsync - “Knock on Wood” would be legendary, but I don’t see the show saving Lala over Symone and so she sashays away in 9th place.
E6 Cake design
WIN Utica
HIGH Olivia, Mik + Denali
LOW Tina
B2 Symone + Lala
OUT Lala
Episode 7 is the Standup challenge. I think Rose wins this one to save Kandy having three wins by midseason. Kandy and Mik will place High. The bottom two will be Utica and Olivia who both originally fell apart in this challenge. Symone will do badly too but having just saved her they will want to avoid her placing B2 again straight away. This lipsync is “MacArthur Park” and I see Ru calling this the double shantay of the season.
E7 Standup
WIN Rose
HIGH Kandy + Gottmik
B2 Olivia + Utica
DOUBLE SHANTAY
Episode 8 is the Patriotic Message episode. I see Symone acing this challenge and grabbing her second win, especially after two episodes of placing in the B3. In season 3 this episode had four highs and four lows which I will maintain here, with Olivia, Kandy and Denali placing High and Rose, Gottmik, Tina and Utica being the bottom 4. I see Utica and Tina doing the worst. This time, Tina eliminates Utica in the B2 as it is now her third B2 and Tina’s first.
E8 Patriotism
WIN Symone
HIGH Denali, Olivia + Kandy
LOW Rose + Gottmik
B2 Tina + Utica
OUT Utica
Episode 9 is the Singing Performance challenge. Rose is a shoe-in to win this while singers Tina, Kandy and Olivia will place High. I see Symone placing Low and Denali and Gottmik - who I don’t think are singers, correct me if I’m wrong - falling into the B2. Symone could also B2 if Denali can sing. In either case, Gottmik is eliminated here in her second LSFYL.
E9 Singing performance
WIN Rose
HIGH Kandy, Olivia + Tina
LOW Symone
B2 Denali + Gottmik
OUT Gottmik
Episode 10 is the season’s first Ball, the Hair Ball. As this is a modern Drag Race season now, only the last look will be constructed by the queens in the werkroom. I see Denali doing well here and placing High, along with Olivia and Symone who will showcase their natural hair and cultural pride. Symone might also throw in some Ru references with her looks. I see Olivia Lux gaining her second win here. The bottom 3 will be Rose - who I think might have questionable taste level at this stage of the competition, Kandy and Tina. Kandy and Tina lipsync to “Even Angels” and Tina is now eliminated.
E10 Hair Ball
WIN Olivia
HIGH Denali + Symone
LOW Rose
B2 Kandy + Tina
OUT Tina
Episode 11 is the makeover. In season 3, the queens made over straight jock guys into drag sisters. I see Symone winning this challenge, as she did in the original season 13. Kandy Muse and Denali are High - Denali I see being able to bond with her jock. She also may place High by default because she won’t do as badly as Olivia and Rose who are a clear B2. We know how this lipsync goes, and Olivia eliminates Rose in 5th place.
E11 Makeover
WIN Symone
HIGH Kandy + Denali
B2 Olivia + Rose
OUT Rose
Episode 12 is the Money Ball, this season’s top 4 episode. Denali and Olivia are the best designers remaining, and I see Denali finally getting this win in the final episode with more interesting silhouettes than the other girls. Ru announces a three-way lipsync between the other queens, but then announces them all Safe proceeding to the Final. (Despite Symone probably doing atrociously in the design challenge!)
E12 Money Ball
WIN Denali
All others lipsync and all 4 pronounced SAFE
Finally we have the finale episode with these track records:
Assuming a lipsync for the crown format, I see Symone beating either Kandy or Olivia in round 1, and Denali beating the other. Then, in the top 2 lipsync, a song will be chosen in which Symone can beat Denali - probably a power ballad the likes of Shackles, which originally knocked her out in season 13. Symone with the most wins and least B2s also has the best track record.
However, this season shows the queens’ strengths much better. Symone is much less dominant, with only three wins and two Highs, tempered by a B2 and two Lows. Denali has two B2s but also a record 7 Highs. Olivia makes it into top 4 with a much better track record of four Highs accompanying her two wins. And Kandy has two wins along with four Highs and only one B2 placement. Utica also netted two wins before being eliminated, while Gottmik was able to win a lipsync and demonstrate versatility. I think that this season might have been a better storyline, too! ~Roman
Tina & Kandy as production faves who will be almost definitely (accidentally) fan anti-faves for at least the 1st half of the season
Symone as the solid talent that will be over-effusively praised until we turn off her
Olivia as everyone's actual general fave who's overlooked by producers
Utica as the alternate queen they thought everyone would love
Denali as the alternate queen everyone actually loves
And Rosé as the one given the edit to make her seem crazy by taking all her quotes out of context or putting them over unrelated conversations
Once again nobody on production seemed to see the Tamisha love coming either. At this point I wonder if they even engage with the fanbase at all before plotting & filming...
What If: the season 13 queens had competed in season 12′s challenges?
aka the review where we put to bed the grumblings of ‘omg you just hate Kandy Muse’
So I’m not really enjoying season 13 for a multitude of reasons, as previously discussed. After the season finishes, I’ll post a master-review, but at the minute, I’m feeling that the difficulties leading to the disconnect are something pretty similar to what was going on in season 7: the queens cast and the challenges set them have been something of a mismatch.
As I’ve touched on already on the blog, I feel that the season 13 producers painted themselves into a corner from the off by casting only a small number of queens willing to confront each other or to be fearlessly shady - Kandy Muse, Tamisha Iman, and Kahmora Hall - and sidelining two of them from day 1, ultimately getting rid of them by week 4, leaving just Kandy to single-handedly keep up the drama quotient among 10 other confrontation-averse queens. Smooth.
So what would the run be like if they’d followed instead the season 12 challenges? Under the cut, read on:
Episodes 1 and 2 of season 12 were also a split premiere. I’ve decided to keep the dolls in their original 7 and 6 queen groups; meaning, episode 1′s queens for the Rap Challenge are Tamisha Iman, Rose, Joey Jay, Denali, Utica, Kahmora Hall, and Elliott with 2 Ts. As originally, I see Denali and Rose placing as the top 2 in this challenge and Denali winning the first Top 2 lipsync. Of the others, Elliott and Joey place High, Tamisha places Safe, and Utica and Kahmora place Low.
Episode 2 sees the other 6 queens - Symone, Gottmik, Kandy Muse, Tina Burner, Lala Ri and Olivia Lux performing a cabaret-style song with their own ‘introduce myself’ verses. Symone is a lock for top 2, but instead of Olivia, I see Tina Burner excelling in this format and joining her. Symone still wins, though. Gottmik and Kandy will place Low in this challenge, and Lala and Olivia High.
Episode 3 brings all the queens together for the first Acting Improv Challenge, the talent show auditions. In season 13, Olivia was gifted a role which allowed her to stand out over Symone and Kandy who placed High, but absent that, I think Symone would win, her runway edging her over Kandy. Rose would join them in the top 3. As Kahmora struggled at acting challenges she is a lock for B2 and I see Lala Ri joining her, as she placed B2 in her own improv challenge. Lala of course wins the lipsync sending Kahmora home.
Episode 4 is The Ball Ball. In season 13 this challenge, the bag ball, was won by Gottmik, with Utica high, but I see Utica excelling with the more unconvential material here and taking the win, while Gottmik and Rose place High. Given that Lala struggled with designing based on flat bags, I can only see balls being more of a disaster for her, so she is a lock for B2 now. Joey Jay, who originally placed B2 in her ball joins her, and Lala will beat her in this lipsync to Rihanna’s S&M.
Episode 5 is the Group Acting Challenge. The pregnant woman and commentary mother roles were the two standouts in this challenge, and I see them going to Tina Burner and Kandy Muse. Whichever way around they go, I see Kandy completely stealing the show, and in any case, also having a better runway than Tina, leading directly to Kandy’s first Win this episode. I see the B2 queens being Denali - who struggled in scripted acting in her original season - and for the third time, Lala Ri. The lipsync will be close, but as it’s Lala’s third, she will be sent home while Denali shantays this week.
Episode 6 is Snatch Game. As in her original season, I see Gottmik taking the win here, with Rose and Denali placing High. Kandy, Symone, Tina and Tamisha place Safe, leaving Elliott, Utica, and Olivia as the bottom 3. Based on their original Snatch Games, I personally judged Elliott as the least worst, because at least she understood the challenge and tried. Olivia focused too much on (one aspect of) the impression and forgot to make jokes, while Utica was off the rails. As such, I see an early Olivia-Utica lipsync, with Utica proving to be a surprise lipsync assassin and knocking out fan fave Olivia.
Episode 7, the Madonna Rusical tests the queens’ impersonation and vocal skills. There’s no question in my mind that Rose wins this challenge. I feel that Tina - for her singing, and Denali - for her dancing, would join her in the top 3. The bottom 3 I see being Symone, who originally placed B3 in her challenge, Gottmik, and the still-with-us Tamisha Iman who would struggle with some of the dancing and perhaps also the singing. I see Symone being spared the B2. I am confident that although Gottmik isn’t the strongest lipsyncer, she would be able to decisively enough beat Tamisha - who as we know, was competing with a medical impairment - and shantay.
By episode 8, we have eight queens remaining - Gottmik, Symone, Denali, Rose, Kandy Muse, Tina Burner, Utica and Elliott with 2 Ts, which isn’t too far off where Season 13 landed. This episode’s challenge is the Commercial Advertising Challenge - the challenge we’ve just had in season 13. We know from that challenge that Rose and Symone will excel, and with single-winners in season 12, I see Rose winning this challenge with Symone placing High. While I personally didn’t enjoy Kandy’s offering in season 13′s ad challenge, it remains a performance challenge and she should do well enough to get a High placement again, with likely a better runway than she had in season 13′s episode. Gottmik, Utica and Tina will struggle with this challenge and Mik’s runway will save her, as in S13. Utica, as we know, beats Tina in the lipsync.
Episode 9 is the Political Challenge. As one of the most political queens in the cast, with strong improv chops, I see Symone winning this challenge - and probably giving us a legendary Stars and Stripes runway, perhaps akin to Widow Von Du’s black power look in original S12. While Rose might do well, I see Kandy and Gottmik doing better and taking the two High placements this week, with Rose placing Safe. I feel that Elliott, Utica and Denali would struggle in this challenge, and I see a B2 of Denali and Elliott. It would be an epic lipsync, but Denali would win and send Elliott home in a respectable 7th place.
Episode 10 brings the Superfan Makeover challenge, and this cast with their signature makeup styles would make this an epic makeover. I can’t see past Gottmik taking the victory here, with Kandy Muse as a professional makeup artist, and Symone, who killed the S13 makeover, placing High. If you aren’t High, you’re in the bottom 3, so our remaining original porkchop queens Rose, Denali and Utica are this week’s bottoms. I see Utica, having done something more creative on the look, being saved here for the drama of a late-game Rose-Denali lipsync... which, as in the original S12, would end with an emotional double shantay.
Our six remaining queens move on to Episode 11, the Standup Comedy One-Woman Show challenge. I see either Rose or Kandy winning this challenge, and I think that Ru would probably give the win to Kandy if they were level pegging. I could see Gottmik telling a personal story with humorous elements akin to Jackie’s approach in the original S12, and also placing High here. Meanwhile, I think both Utica and Symone would struggle with this challenge, with Denali doing not much better... but enough to save herself from the B2. I see Symone eliminating Utica in this lipsync.
Finally our top 5 queens - Symone, Rose, Denali, Gottmik (so many single-names) and Kandy Muse make it to the top 5 Vegas performance episode. Unfortunately, as we know from original season 13, only two of these queens excel at performance challenges with a dance and live singing element. As such, I see Rose handily winning this final challenge, with Denali placing High, taking the first two final spots. Of the remaining queens, I think Gottmik would be given the Safe placement through to the final, while Kandy and Symone would lipsync for the final place. Which... I think would go to Symone, with Kandy taking the Vanjie-Katya 5th place elimination just before the final.
This would give us a top 4 queens of Rose, Symone, Gottmik and Denali to go on to a lipsync-for-the-crown finale. With the track records looking like this:
If, in this universe, we’d managed to dodge covid, song choice would need to be carefully made to eliminate Denali before top 2, as she would be a powerful lipsync threat to the other three.
However, with a lipsync-from-home finale as we ended up having in S12 in 2020, I could see Denali being eliminated in the first round, not having the stage space to perform her strongest routines - and being banned from ice, probably!
In any case, I can see Symone being the eventual winner of the season. She will pick up the joint-most number of wins in the competition - three, with Rose - and is, as Ru likes, a queen with political engagement and awareness of the world around her, as well as having a unique take on fashion that plays tribute to her heritage, as was the case with S1 winner Bebe Zahara Benet.
Just goes to show how differently a season can go when different aspects of a queen’s repertoire are tested! I think this might have been a more enjoyable watch... but who knows. What do you think? ~Roman
