Summary: Where were they? Thomas found in the recent days he was so lonely. Where was Logan chiding him to get up? Where was Patton to try and get him to bake some cookies? Where was Janus telling him to remember to take care of himself? Where was Virgil, keeping him up at night only to fall asleep after wearing himself out? Where was Roman and the constant humming of Disney tunes? Where was Remus always popping up to scare him? Where were his sides? Why aren’t they here...? He needs them.
Author Note: This is a short one-shot after reading through @rondoel and her King AU thing. Hope you like it! It’s 7 in the morning, I haven’t slept and I wrote angst. (Sorry for any mistakes in grammar, I near failed that in school and in college.)
Warnings: Angst, Mild signs of Depression (possibly), feelings of abandonment, loneliness, fear of silence, mild panic attack, mild anxiety attack, Thomas really needs a hug guys.
Thomas looked at himself in the mirror and felt a weight on his shoulders he didn’t know he could feel. A weight of loneliness, of confusion, of feeling utterly lost, of longing. He finished brushing his teeth and sighed as he cleaned off his mouth and putting the brush away.
He turned out of the bathroom to his room to get ready for the day... sort of. He hadn’t been out anywhere in a few days. His friends called, but he couldn’t find the energy in him to answer the phone or text back. He just felt like the world was crushing on him, and couldn’t explain why.
No amount of self care helped, and he felt too much like dead weight to see if hanging out with his friends would help. He’s been like this for the past few weeks, after the latest episode to pin point it. Each day felt like a chore to get up and do anything.
At first, he tried to summon his sides, was something troubling him he didn’t know about? So he tried Patton, normally his Morality always managed to cheer him up and brighten his mood. But, as he called out, waved his hand, did both... nothing. Thomas was confused by that, normally his happy dad side was more than willing to come with called; sometimes he’d come without needing to be called at all.
Thomas did shrug it off, thinking maybe whatever troubled him might be troubling Patton also. Maybe it was connected to his feeling? Maybe the others are helping Patton? He’d check back later, he trusted his sides after all.
Then came a few days after that, Thomas found his work was suffering, he really needed to work on the next video. But he only found he’d just stare at his laptop, sometimes watch reruns of episodes. Getting no where, as pre usual. He was waiting for Logan to come scold him. Yet, nothing, the logical side was oddly silent even in his head.
No scolding, no arguing, just a foreboding silence. Thomas didn’t like that at all, he was always used to Logan speaking to him. Though the nerd could be a little much when it came to facts, he always knew Logan cared about him and only wanted the best. Thomas tried to listen, even if he couldn’t keep up, Logan cared and he cared back. Now though, why was Logan so quiet?
He tried to summon his logical side to find out. But like with Patton, calling his name, waving his hand, nothing worked. Were they ignoring him? Had he done something wrong? No... had he they normally told him.
Maybe this was a bigger issue than he thought? But shouldn’t he be involved? Thomas chewed his lower lip, he tried not to worry, that’d just upset Virgil, he knew his anxiety had enough to go around, he didn’t want to amplify it.
So he continued on as normal. Even if he felt sluggish and weak, couldn’t even bring himself to draw something or act out his favorite parts. Was Princey still mad at him? He really wanted to talk to Roman about what happened, but knew, like himself, Roman would want time to himself. But, Thomas was getting worried. Roman did know how much he was loved, right? Maybe Roman needed to hear it from the source?
So he turned to call out to Roman, as usual, nothing, no one, not a soul. He tried to call for Patton again, maybe he knew where Roman was? But Patton didn’t come again.
Thomas felt his chest seize up for a moment. Shakily he tried to call for Logan, he needed to calm down. No one came. He bit his lip, Virgil? His breath was hitching when he tried, by now Virgil would know something was wrong. So where was he?
He was shaking, where were they?
After that panic attack, Thomas in the coming days would try for Janus. But like he predicted, no one came to his call. Remus didn’t show up either, Thomas would take any sound, even his trash mans innuendos and constant stream of thoughts. But Remus didn’t come either, no matter how desperate Thomas’s voice got. No matter how many times he tried to apologize to the nothing, as if it’d bring them back.
The silence was deafening in the apartment.
He could often hear his own ears ringing. He was so used to his thoughts being so loud. He was used to listening to their conversations in his head. Thomas came to really enjoy the moments his sides were there. This was... just so hard.
Then came the true fear. Were they gone forever? Had he lost them forever? What if they were hurt? He was hyper ventilating now. The smell of mint on his breath from his toothpaste.
Thomas hugged his knees, trying to breath normally. He felt something wet, he looked at his knees to see water stains. Was he crying? Words died in his throat, no logic could make is way to his head. His feelings felt so skewered and messy. He had no drive to create, no drive to care anymore.
He must be sobbing, his throat was hurting from trying to hold them back. Why did he felt so abandoned? So lost? Thomas hated it, the only sound was his own sobs in the air.
“Where are you?” he found himself repeating, “Where are you? I need you guys! I want you guys here!” he found himself wailing out to the emptiness. As if that’ll bring them back.
“Please... Please...” he whispered over and over again.
He sat there on the ground, tears streaming down his face. The world was dark, where was the light? There was no way out.
“Where has everyone gone?”
