#roo tag

[dogboypawjob]

Disclaimer: this post is mostly just me working out my feelings, trying to figure out how I feel etc. Also it's kinda long.

Ok so my partner is coming out as nonbinary (they/she) and I have a lot of thoughts about it...

I'm super excited for them!!! That feeling of accepting that you're trans is overwhelming but also so thrilling. I remember when my egg started to crack and I was like "fuck, I really am a boy". I got such a thrill when I accepted who I am. I'm so excited for them to be feeling that way and to be going through that journey because it's something I'm experiencing myself and it's been absolutely fantastic. Sure there were some painful moments but the positives far outweigh any negatives I've experienced. I'm happier than I've ever been in my life because I'm finally living my authentic self, and I'm so excited to see my partner go through all that and find herself. I love hearing how they're feeling and seeing how she gets a little happier when they tell me about her plans to transition.

I've also been thinking about and reevaluating my sexuality in relation to her gender identity. I struggled with my sexuality a while, and only recently (thought I had) figured it out. I used to identify as pansexual, but when I started dating again I found that I'm much more attracted to men than I am to women. For the past year or so I've identified primarily as a gay man, and my partner's transition has made me question that. I love my partner dearly and I plan to stick with them regardless of how they identify, but I do worry. I think I'm primarily attracted to masculinity, and I'm concerned that my attraction will wane if they decide to be more feminine. I don't think it will, but I do worry. I am a little frustrated though - I thought I had finally figured myself out, that I had a label that fit me - and now I don't know what I am all over again.

I've also been thinking about the challenges they'll face as a nonbinary person in a binary world. I identified as nonbinary for a long time before transitioning to a binary trans man, and it was hard feeling like I couldn't quite express my gender without facing opposition from those around me because I wasn't conforming to traditional gender roles. I don't think she'll have many problems with their friends, but I think some of her family will be a different story. I can see some of their family misgendering them out of ignorance or prejudice, and it's difficult and dysphoria inducing to be misgendered by people close to you. I don't like that she'll probably have to deal with that because I know how badly that hurts. I don't want her to feel pain because they're pursuing what makes them happy :(

I'm also wondering if their gender identity will change over time. Mine sure did! I knew from the beginning of our relationship that although they identified externally as a cis man, that they certainly are not a cis man. To be completely honest, I've been waiting for them to accept that they're not a cis man, and to actually do something about it. I've watched them try to perform masculinity in the same way that I tried to perform femininity before my egg cracked. Our second date they told me they didn't like their name and they prefer to go by things other than their birth name, and that they've already tried out a few names. When I asked them what name they would have chosen for themselves, I filed that answer away and nearly a year later, she told me that she was thinking of going by that same name they told me our second date. They've made so many offhanded comments that made me say "oh yeah, they're definitely not cis" that I was surprised this didn't happen sooner. I'm so happy that she's starting to accept, and perhaps eventually embrace their newfound gender. I do wonder if they'll ever go full girl, but I don't want to push them towards something they don't want or something she's not ready to do yet.

They're planning on shaving off their beard on Thursday and I'm super nervous about that (they started growing it when we first started dating; they've had a beard the whole time we've been together) but I'm happy that she's doing what makes her happy. I know I'll love her regardless of how they choose to look 💜

Also, I love using they/she for her!!! It feels so natural; I always felt weird about calling them a he. I keep wanting to call them my girlfriend but I still need to ask how she feels about that... I default to partner for now but I'll admit while writing this post I accidentally typed "girlfriend" a few times and had to correct myself.

Regardless of my worries, I'm super happy and excited for my partner and I'm looking forward to holding their hand every step of the way as they embark on their journey to trans their gender. I'm literally giggling and kicking my feet thinking about how it feels to reach different milestones and feel validated in one's identity, and I'm so psyched to see them experience those feelings. This is the start of a new era for them and it's so exciting to see how excited she is to do this! :D

[crashtacular-blog]

ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY !! @bunjolras

i wish i could give you the entire world tbh but since i cant i did the best i could.i love you. you became one of my best friends so fast it literally gave me whiplash, and im honestly on the fence over whether or not youre my ACTUAL best friend, like very top tier, because even if you aren’t you’re so close it’s ridiculous. in so little time??? you literally saved my life, and you’re so sweet and just knowing you exist makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, just you existing and being safe and happy puts me in such a good headspace.

so this is for you, since its!!! your birthday and you’re eighteen and that’s so cool!!!! i love you bunches, muffin, and i cant wait to get to make you lots more things the more time we spend together and the more occasions that go by. i wish i could give you something as incredible as you-- this isn’t much, but i hope you like it anyway. <3 <3 <3

...

“I think it’s pretty.”

“Yeah?” A scrunch of his nose, an absent twirl of his spoon in the drink that is still too hot to drink, “You’ll think it’s really pretty when you get frostbite. And die.”

And it earns him a laugh, a giggle really. It’s cute. Bright, vivid, light and cheerful and very Bart Allen. Jaime doesn’t look at his boyfriend, but he doesn’t even need to to see that pretty bright green flashing with life and mirth, his eyes. Curly auburn falling against those freckly cheeks.

“I don’t wanna go outside anyway,” Bart informs him, and now Jaime does look up. The boy is wearing something completely unsuitable for winter-- a hoodie, one of Jaime’s, too big for him and pooling at his wrists where his hands rest on the windowsill, the pale curl of his fingers just visible from the openings. Shorts, shorty-shorts that are much too short for winter, contrasting the white outside and the fuzzy socks on Bart’s feet, a baby blue that reached his knees. Those curls in a little hot mess, probably due for a trim, obscuring Jaime’s view of his face as he stares out the window.

“I don’t want to go outside,” Bart repeats, this time turning his head to meet Jaime’s gaze, those big, dazzling emerald eyes fluttering behind dark lashes as he turns a sleepy sweet look to him, “I just wanna look.”

“Look all you want, amorcito, but the fire’s lit for a reason. It’s cold, and if you open that door I’m going to tackle you.”

“That would be such a tragedy,” Bart fakes a pout, but Jaime can see that glint in his green eyes, that teasing, flirtatious sparkle as he turns from the window in favor of smiling a sleepy, cutie smile and wiggling his fuzzy-sock feet, “I don’t know what I’d do. Oh no, my super hella hot boyfriend is totally pinning me to the ground right now--”

He hasn’t even finished his lines, but it’s Bart, and he doesn’t wait. It’s in a flash of blue from the hoodie that he’s suddenly snuggled to Jaime’s side on the couch, face tucked into Jaime’s chest, smiling that sleepy smile, “Whatever would I doooo.”

“Hush,” Jaime tells him, giving his hair a playful tug that makes the boy whine childishly, “You play too much.”

“You don’t play enough.”

Jaime sets the drink down. It’s winter, but he knows why Bart’s wearing those short shorts anyway. Jaime loves those shorts on him, showing off those pretty legs, soft skin and pale and freckled, making Jaime blush.

Of course, they don’t make him blush so much anymore, that they’ve been dating for about a year. But he can still appreciate them, curled up to his side and in those cute fuzzy knee-highs that Jaime knows Bart’s wearing because he’s cold in those shorts.

It’s a snow day. They’re snowed in. Well-- Jaime is, anyway. Bart could run away without a second thought to wherever he wants, somewhere warm and sunny and appropriate for those booty shorts.

No, though. It’s Bart. Sweet, playful, teasing, ridiculously affectionate. And he’d much rather stay cuddled up into Jaime’s side, freezing in shorts just because he knows Jaime thinks he’s cute in them, watching snow and listening to Jaime be vaguely pissy about the cold. He’s with his lover. And he’d rather do that than anything else. Jaime knows. It’s sweet. He cards a hand through Bart’s curls while he considers this, maybe having flustered himself a little. Bart smiles against his neck, that same cute, sleepy smile, nuzzles him a little from where he sits tucked into him.

“Don’t tell me you’re falling asleep?” Jaime whispers. Bart offers a breathless laugh in response.

“‘Course not,” A small pause, a consideration, and then, “Not yet, anyway.”

“You can if you want to,” Jaime tells him, gently, sweetly, quietly. He can feel Bart shiver a little against him-- he likes it when they talk sweet like this, just the two of them, snuggly and sweet on each other and maybe a little playfully teasing.

“I know,” Bart returns softly, respecting this new atmosphere, “But I don’t want to. I’d rather snuggle you.”

“Evidently, since you’re still here.”

“I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else,” Bart informs him, punctuating his statement with a kiss to his collarbone that draws a small gasp from him, “I wanna be wherever you are.”

“Sappy,” Jaime mumbles, letting his eyes close as his cheeks heat up, Bart beginning a quiet string of kisses over his neck, his shoulders, his jaw. Sweet kisses, sleepy kisses. Slow kisses. Slow-- something Bart isn’t, never is, unless he wants to dote on his lover. Which, evidently-- he does.

“Love you,” He whispers against Jaime’s jaw, right under his ear, before he tilts his head to suck a mark there. It pulls a flustered breath from Jaime’s throat, from his chest, and paints his cheeks red. He’s easy to fluster, easy to work up. Bart knows it. Takes advantage of it, even, with those pretty green eyes fluttering so close to his, that wicked smile too close to Jaime’s mouth, those mischievous hands fluttering under the hem of his shirt, his waistband, tugging at his zipper.

Right now, however, there’s none of those risque shenanigans. Bart seems pretty content to suck and kiss and nip and whisper along his neck, his hands in the most chaste place possible, tangled in his lover’s hair. Still. It feels heavy, it feels intimate, it sends little shocks tracing their ways through Jaime’s veins, little flashes of yellow and red and green.

“You’re teasing me.”

“What gave it away?” Bart’s voice is a breathless laugh, his smile pressed to the sensitive skin in the juncture of Jaime’s neck and his shoulder. It makes him shiver, makes him tangle his fingers in Bart’s hair and pull him away from his neck in favor of kissing him on the lips. The speedster makes a soft noise, of surprise, and maybe a little protest before he promptly melts into the kiss. Jaime can feel his eyes flutter closed against his cheek, can feel that breathy sigh escape his lips.

And Jaime’s easy to tease, sure, but so is Bart. And two can play this game. It’s tactful when Jaime turns the chaste little kiss into something deeper, tilting his head and slipping tongue into the equation at the same time that his hand comes to rest on the small of the speedster’s back and he pulls him deeper. The boy gasps, but the sound is swallowed up by the new nature of the kiss and Jaime’s intentions to melt him. Bart seems unsure of where to put his hands for all of half a second before those lithe arms come to wind around Jaime’s neck.

He’s making little noises into their kiss, little soft gasps, tiny whines. It’s cute. It’s nice to get Bart like this, all helpless and flustered. Completely at his boyfriend’s mercy.

And then Jaime pulls back just enough to tuck his face into his speedster’s neck, to listen to his breath hitch in a sort of adorable anticipation, to feel his fingers tighten in his hair.

A pause. Bart’s impatient at the best of times, and he’s starting to squirm, and it’s cute, and it makes Jaime smile. And then a light kiss to his jaw, and then--

“Gotcha back.”

The lightest, chastest peck to the boy’s cheek, and then he pulls away completely.

And as he retreats back to his side of the couch, he picks back up his drink, which has cooled off significantly and he’s able to take a sip of now. Bart hasn’t moved, and out of curiosity Jaime glances over.

The sight is more than satisfying. Blushing, flustered, his lips red from the kissing, his eyes glazed over with a sort of flustered arousal as he appears to be processing. For all of a second, and then he starts pouting, whining, blushing out of embarrassment at being tricked and left unsatisfied.

“You’re the worst!”

“You started it,” Another sip of his drink, unable to help the smug look settling over his features.

“Yeah, and I was gonna finish it!” Bart protests, and in a flash he’s by Jaime’s side, snuggled close to him, damn near making him spill his drink.

“Tease,” Bart mumbles into his shoulder, quickly met with a sleepy hand carded through his hair. The snow keeps falling outside, and the fire keeps going inside, and the teasing and the flustering and the playfulness slowly subsides and gives way to sleep, falling off against each other, cuddled up and together and loving.

[mykabering]

recently my coworker was like “whats ur opinion on double texting” and i was like “sometimes roo sends me 128 messages while I’m out and I love it”

[dogboypawjob]

I have a date with a cute guy!!! We talked on the phone and he seems super sweet 🥰 he's a little awkward but I think it's cute 💕 I can't wait to meet him!!

[dogboypawjob]

It's weird having feelings for someone and being in love when all my emotions feel like they're muffled. I'm constantly second guessing myself, wondering if what I'm feeling is real.

But the fact is, thinking about him makes me smile, I get butterflies when he calls me pretty boy, I love holding his hand and kissing him and making love with him. I enjoy his company and hearing his voice and learning more about him. I look forward to our calls after work and I miss him when I can't be with him. I want every moment with him to last forever and when I have to leave I can't stop thinking about him. He makes me happy.

This has to be love, right?

[dogboypawjob]

I feel so silly

There's butterflies in my stomach

My thoughts are full of him despite my best efforts to focus on what I need to

Resisting the urge to talk to him is so hard

I want to know everything about him

I want to share little bits of my life with him

Show him the cat I live with, the spider in the window

My heart dances as I listen to his music

I can't wait for Sunday 🥰

[dogboypawjob]

I love my girlfriend so much 🥰🥰

[dogboypawjob]