Living
I am bad at life. I spend my days badly. On an objective scale of 1 - 10 my days have been consistent 2′s for the past few weeks, but oh what 2′s they are. Cozy and comfortable. Wrapped in blue grey smoke, blankets and endless highlight reel of Dota plays. and while this persists, my 26th year rumbles along quite quietly. Unchallenged. Unperturbed by the goings on of the rest of the world but for a few drunk political debates and late night sessions. I cannot promise another reinvention of myself because if evidence is to be inspected, it has had very little success. In truth I think i’m just scared of the daytime and all it demands. I’d rather sink into this comfort over and over again because it’s so safe.I don’t do anything dangerous anymore and maybe that’s it. A subconscious desperation for danger and risk. I’ve become so risk averse. When did that happen? The money phase maybe? Nonethless, I’m identifying it and as we know so well, “Knowing is not enough”. So what will I do? What will i do?
