You felt your phone buzzing in your small pocket once again. For the 5th time already, in no less than 3 minutes. And you knew exactly who was calling you, but you felt no need to pick up the phone to someone who you were already rushing to see. Sure, you were late. And it wasn't the "fashionably late" or whatever bullshit. Since you were so damn anxious about all this in the first place, you were totally unable to sleep throughout the whole night. But as usual, your body decided to turn off completely just an hour before you needed to finally leave your place. So unsurprisingly, you've overslept your sister's plane and now she's all by herself, probably more anxious than you, waiting somewhere near EXIT-C.
Just as you felt the well-known buzzing once again, you finally saw her. She was standing with her luggage in the small spot, almost hidden from everyone, but since you knew her all to well, you've expected this kind of behavior. Familiar feeling rushed through your body and it settled right in the center of your gut, the unmistakable feeling of guilt. You've already questioned your decision far too many times. And she always made you sure that she also wants this, despite the fact she's not used to live in huge cities, full of people, such as Seoul. Brief moment passed as she put her phone back down and looked in every single direction with hopeless look written all over her face. That changed completely when she finally saw you, waving at her like crazy, almost running to her and also crying just a little. She noticeably relaxed, but you knew just how angry you made her. And she wasn't the angry type at all.
"Unnie, I thought about going back for a second. I really did. You came just in time for me not to change my mind. But right now, I must admit, I'm beyond happy that I came here." you shifted a little, so you could look outside the window now, because you knew where was this conversation going. You felt her heavy look on yourself, but it took her only a second to make her peace with the fact you don't want to look at her. So she just started to braid her hair as if nothing was happening and she wasn't about to ask you questions you weren't exactly ready to answer.
"How long do you want to avoid the actual reason why I'm even here? Listen to me, unnie. You have to finally talk about it. I know why you asked me to live with you. The only person who doesn't know, but should, is him." just as she finished braiding her hair, she turned her full attention back to you. After few awkward moments of pure staring, you gave in.
"I don't have to listen to you. Go to sleep. It's late. Just because you seem to enjoy your job so far doesn't mean it won't change if you'll come late tomorrow. Now shush." you saw the look on her face and how she pouted a little but after all, you were right. You knew that it wouldn't last forever. With this attitude, it will take less than a week for her to get you speaking. But for now, you don't want to deal with all this mess. Not tonight.
"Can't you open the door? I'm busy right now!" you shouted at your sister that was listening to music way too loudly in the next room. It took her a minute to finally get up and turn the music down a little. While you were having an existential crisis about the perfect dress you should wear for the blind date your friend arranged, your sister stepped inside your room. She wasted no time and simply asked you to come and see what was happening in front of your door. And damn, you definitely did not expect to see this.
You saw totally wasted Taehyung sitting in front of your door, half asleep, half mumbling something too quietly for your ears to hear. Just when you sighed in frustration, your sister slowly returned to her room, since she already realized you want to deal with this alone. And you did. Also, you knew that your postponed conversation with her will be brought back as soon as possible after this. What an awesome night.
"Oppa, what is this supposed to mean?" you approached him slowly, helping him to stand up. It took him less than a second to sober up a little when he heard your indifferent voice. You used it all the time when he did something that confused you or displeased you.
"_____-ah...... I'm sorry. I must've probably forgotten that I don't live here anymore" he slurred but it was clear enough for you to hear him. Drunk Tae was nothing new. Not to you, anyways. The last month you were living together was especially bad. He used to be an amazing roommate. And you both used to be great friends. But it changed about a month ago, he became very distant and you mostly saw him drunk when he texted you to come and pick him up from somewhere. You always liked living with him, but it became too much. You wanted to help him, to find out what the hell was bothering him so much, but he just closed up from you and it hurt you so much. You were the closest thing to be called best friend for him and he used to be the same. He had more friends, but your friendship was always special.
"Come on. You should stay and sleep here. It's too late for you to go home now." He chucked when you said the word "home". Sure, your decision that he should probably move out and live with Jimin may've been a bit too much but it has been almost 3 months now. You hoped he would understand your decision and forgive you. But clearly, he was still bitter about it. And truthfully, you couldn't blame him. It was hard for you as well. You liked living with your sister, it was good in different ways, but you've called yourself stupid countlessly for this decision.
Since there was literally no real living-room in your small apartment, you brought him into your room and managed to put him onto your bed. It was covered in dresses and random clothing but that really didn't bother you at the moment. But it bothered him, of course.
"Were you going somewhere? You used to do this all the time when you weren't sure what to wear..." he stopped somewhere in the middle of his sentence, clearly deep in thoughts, or to be more specific, deep in some memory that the two of you have shared.
"No, not really. Not tonight anyways." you explained while you took your clothes away and put them on already huge pile of clothing near the closet. While you were finishing with tidying up your room a little, he apparently decided to make himself comfortable, it was obviously still familiar place for his drunken mind. He took off his shoes and his beloved leather jacket as well. You didn't really know what to do, there was only one bed in your room and sure, you guys have slept in the same bed together, but it was always by accident when you were watching a movie and you've both fallen asleep or when you were both drunk and too tired to deal with the fact that you're both sleeping in the same bed. You thought about going to your sister's bed but she would kick you out immediately so you forgot about that idea. As you were awkwardly standing above him, with your arms crossed, he probably guessed what you were thinking about so hard and he answered your problems with grabbing your leg and pulling you down onto your own bed, sitting beside him.
"If you want, I can sleep on the floor. I don't really care anyways." he offered, visibly more sober. You looked at him, as stunning as always, and concluded that you couldn't possibly do that to him after everything else that happened lately. Sure, you were angry at him a little bit, but the guilt was eating you whole up.
"No. It's fine. And also, it's just one night." with a small smile, you put this conversation to an end. He managed to switch the lights out and he immediately plopped back onto your mattress, hugging you slightly. This sudden action made you froze a little but you thought that it's probably just the drunken side of Tae acting again – he's usually very affectionate and cuddly while he's drunk. With his own intoxicating smell, it took you a very little time to fall asleep in his embrace.
When you woke up, he was still there. After your eyes adjusted to the sudden light coming from your window, you noticed that he's actually awake as well. What surprised you, thought, was how he still held you pretty close to his own warm body, despite the fact that now he must be sober for more than sure.
"Morning" you mumbled as you managed to straighten up a little bit, making his hands let you go to make this movement possible. It was usually pretty easy for you to tell what he was thinking or feeling, his face was an open book for you, but right now, he looked almost cold, no visible emotions whatsoever. As you studied him closely, what he definitely noticed, he broke into shy smile.
"I thought about apologizing to you, but right now, I suddenly feel like you should apologize to me. I mean–look at this. At us. I just–why would you–look–" you saw how hard he was trying to find the right words to explain you how he must've felt about this whole situation that occurred between you. But he didn't have to struggle with this issue at all, you understood his feelings all too well. Sure, you missed him. And this night reminded you how much actually. But that haven't changed the fact how he behaved and after these 3 months you were more than determined to stay behind your words to live separately.
"I'm going to make you some coffee." you stated simply and got up, heading to kitchen. Your sister was already in work, the only good thing was that today was your day off so you actually had some time to deal with Tae. You took a day off because of that blind date, but right now it felt like too much to handle at the moment, so you decided you should call it off later when Tae wouldn't be around to hear about it. He never liked any of your dates. Not that he wouldn't like to see you with someone, he just thought you had terrible taste in men in general what made him set you up with his friend Seokjin once, but that ended up even worse than any of your previous dates.
Not that you had anything against Jin! He was a sweet guy, but he wasn't really someone you could picture yourself with and honestly, he told you the same. It made both of you wonder why Taehyung set you two up in the first place, he must've known that it would most likely end up this way, but that was a long time ago and he promised you not to set you up with his friends again and not to interfere with your love life ever again so you let this go off your mind. Well, until now at least.
Your coffee machine was already finished with your coffee while you were thinking back about this whole embarrassing story, so you poured some of it to your favourite cup and also to Tae's cup since he still had it here. His cup was actually a gift from you, you gave it to him during your first month as roommates since he was constantly pissing you off with the various number of girls he used to bring to your apartment back then. You thought that buying him a cup that was saying with a big and bold font "happily married" would turn some of the girls away, but it actually made him so amused you both agreed to always bring your dates over only after "consultation" with the other and also, with permission. You were surprised how seriously he took this, he always let you know ever since then, so you could stay out a little longer or not to come home at all if you had a place to stay instead.
You heard Tae brushing his teeth from bathroom, most likely with the spare toothbrush you had there in cases such as this, since he already took his own toothbrush away. This all made you feel a little bittersweet. You tried to think about something else than him, but your regrets made it practically impossible. Just when you were telling yourself you did the right thing, he came out off the bathroom, shirtless, looking hotter than you remembered him. Oh god, why must he do this even harder to you. You always wished he would wear a shirt more often while you lived together, he could be rather distracting sometimes. You tried to look as natural as he did, sipping a little from your hot coffee. He had some nerve coming here drunk and going around shirtless without apology. What if you didn't took the day off today? You wanted to scold him for all this when he suddenly spoke in quiet voice- "I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have come here yesterday. But it was almost unbearable. Not only you told me to move out – you completely shut me out, ____. I called you, you know? And I texted you as well. Why the hell would you ignore me like this?"
His words made you feel even worse about yourself, if possible. You certainly haven't planned this, you just found yourself too startled to ever answer some of his calls. Most likely because you knew that you would take him back in a blink of an eye back then.
"I know I probably owe you some explanation, but don't throw all this at me. You shut down from me long time ago, Tae." you tried to look him directly in the eye, but he was looking down, into his cup as if there was something way more interesting than you and your conversation right now. For someone who had so much to say a little while ago about you, he sure as hell didn't look so cocky right now.
You waited a little longer to hear some lame ass response from him, but nothing. He said absolutely nothing and it made you angry. This was the typical while you used to live together a few months back. When he would sober up in the morning, you would make him coffee and ask him things while he would only look down, silently.
"Fine. We don't have to talk. Not now and not ever." you got up, now completely furious, and went back to your room to change and pick your purse. You managed to brush your teeth, but you were too angry to do anything about your messy hair or anything else.
You said nothing to him as you walked from your apartment. He knew he didn't have to lock the door and he didn't have the keys, anyways. You had actually no idea where you were going, just somewhere as far away from him as possible, to be frank.
"The fuck?" you mumbled for yourself. It was a little past 2AM when someone knocked on your door, a bit too loud. Well, loud for this inhuman hour at least. Your sister was out of the city for a few days since she and her boyfriend Jungkook went to some trip near Busan. You were pretty sure it was not her so you couldn't help but wonder if it's him. You haven't seen Taehyung since that incident last time and that was almost 4 months back, not that you were counting or anything.
You almost jumped in shock when you heard the knocking again. The person behind the door continued with his loud actions until you finally opened. What you certainly was not expecting, or more specifically who, was Jin. He looked sleepy but also very relieved when you finally opened the door. Before you even had time to ask him anything, he pushed past you and walked in.
"So, basically, you're trying to tell me that...... what? Are you serious about this? I mean, what?"
"I know you must be confused now, I mean you guys were best friends and I know how close you were so I guess you shared practically everything, but yes. I am very sure. And I needed to finally tell you. I'm sorry it took me so long."
"No, you don– ... Well, maybe yeah. Thank you for the apology. I think it must've been hard for both of us, so thank you. And thank you for telling me. I think I should apologize to him. I pushed so hard sometimes to find out the truth and it was–" you wanted to finish the sentence and explain to Jin how bad you felt right now, after hearing everything, but the loud buzzing of phone interrupted your conversation. It was one of your co-workers, Yoongi. He wanted to know if you could make it on time this morning. That finally reminded you of the current time, Jin and you have just spent over 3 hours talking. Well, actually, Jin was quiet for a long time and it took him a few shots to find the courage to speak to you.
"Hey, I should probably go. And don't worry, I know he wanted to tell you long time ago. So he won't be mad. He can't be mad. Your reactions were honest and he understands that," Jin reassured you with understanding smile while he slowly left your apartment.