#roommate 3

[shitihearinlife]

Give credit where credit is due! I got cheeto dust on your cards. Not Rachel. Me.

[athenasdragon]

*realizes baby carrots are all about to go bad*

*convinces roommate to split entire bag with me*

[heredayembracesnight]

Set a date for Roommate 3 to come visit me next month!

We talked for 3 hours on the phone today and it was so nice. I miss her so much, y’all. We’re going to drink ridiculously flavored rum, watch musicals, and cook. 

[shitihearinlife]

"Joke machine broke"

My roommate on 3 hours of sleep when she couldnt think of a joke

[shitihearinlife]

In death we still perish

[shitihearinlife]

We new yorkers only have a few animals in our zoo... rats... doves, wait pigeons... and people

My roommate doing a terrible New Yorker accent

[shitihearinlife]

When you cant do math so you just say your dick is a waffle

[athenasdragon]

harry potter houses based on me and my roommates

Gryffindor

will climb any object to prove that they can

“frick your mom”

wants to skate on the frozen river even though they’ve been warned that it’s dangerous

seems like a cinnamon roll, can probably fuck you up

Ravenclaw

could write their essay in an hour but doesn’t start it till 1am because they’re researching a historical au instead

“you guys I learned something so interesting in class today” *regurgitates the entire lecture to their roommates*

friends with all their professors

Hufflepuff

activism

grandma friend

makes tea for everyone on the hall

has enough food to feed a small army stashed under their bed

Slytherin

“I can hook you up with literally anyone or anything”

texts 11 people asking them to get alcohol and then accepts everyone who responds

goes to a protest lowkey hoping to scrap with someone (but only if they start it)

their internship isn’t just an internship; it’s step one in an elaborate plan that involves waaayyy too many credit hours and which will result in her becoming a successful engineer and moving to LA with her girlfriend