Series: Part 6 of 10k - 20k, Part 1 of the lovesquare experience™
Collections: lovesquare headcanon prompt fill party!!!!
Published: 2024-04-05
Completed: 2024-04-07
Words: 10,197
Chapters: 4/4
Summary
sitting next to adrien is a Bad Idea. because if marinette sits next to adrien, marinette will be a mess, and if marinette is a mess, there's no way she'll be able to keep her feelings for him a secret.
but... well. she can't just abandon him at the back of the classroom. not when he looks so sad.
"My kitty," she said, and touched his face. "Always trying to impress me."
He didn't know whether to be embarrassed or enamoured. With Ladybug, he was always both.
"But you know what?" She was back on her side, now, but much closer than before. The duvet no longer separated them — it harboured them both beneath the same white square. His skin tingled where it touched hers. "I've always thought you were cool. Right from the very beginning."
"Y-you did?"
"Yeah. Because you were honest. And people aren't usually brave enough to be honest." She glanced down at his lips. "Remember how you'd say it so easily? When I'd ask you for an opinion and you'd so casually say you'd be biased because you're in love with me?"
"I don't actually remember that. Wow, embarrassing. For me, I mean."
Ladybug shook her head. "It was the best thing I'd ever heard. You always said it how it was. You always treated people's feelings like facts. That's cool."
— "i'm cool!" and other lies chat noir tells himself, a Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir fanfiction by @rosekasa.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
Hello @rosekasa I was your Secret Santa for the @mlsecretsanta gift exchange! I had a lot of fun writing this lovely little story for you and I hope that you enjoy it! Have a lovely holiday season.
Thank you to @mlsecretsanta for hosting this event once again. It is a lot of fun and I am so happy to be once again participating!
hello chase!!!! i wanted to insert my own question so ❓what is your thought process when you edit your own works and what are some rules of thumb you use when editing?
oh noooooo you had to ask a hard one ahah. Thank you very much; I'll do my best to do it justice
I have common mistakes I look for, like I'm constantly using seemed/thought/appeared when simply stating what is happening is far more effective. But, ultimately, when editing my own work, my primary question is, "Does this [sentence/word/paragraph/scene] communicate what want my reader to feel/understand a)effectively b)efficiently c)creatively?"
Everything I change as I read and reread and reread my writing revolves around that question.
A really great example is the editing I just did on the 1920s AU! I'll do a side-by-side comparison for anyone who's interested under the cut
Here's the link to the first draft of the 1920s AU smoke-break scene. It was edited for grammar, but the first pass is never the best pass, and I revised the scene more intimately the next day.
The beginning of any scene needs to set a specific tone and communicate key details of the setting to the reader. This paragraph wasn't very effective at that.
It wasn’t snowing, though it certainly felt cold enough to. Marinette pulled her collar closed against her throat and cheeks, keeping herself as snug as she could. She had some privacy in the dark alley that guarded the back entrance of the Lucky Lady, but the click of her lighter must have attracted attention from the street. She saw the white suit jacket and vest that was becoming painfully familiar approach.
So I revised it with just a few concrete details just to add dimension to the space, so that I could more effectively introduce the setting.
It wasn’t snowing, though it certainly felt cold enough to start. Marinette pulled her collar closed against her throat and cheeks, keeping herself as snug as she could. She had a fairly narrow view of the street, illuminated by a nearby lamp, but the corner of the theater that backed the Lucky Lady cut through that light, giving her a space of quiet darkness to enjoy a reprieve during the chaos of an evening shift.
There were not many out on a cold night like this, but a painfully familiar voice cut through the crisp air.
I also shifted from the visual of the white coat to the sound of Adrien's voice because I wanted to draw out the scene a little bit more! This dialogue from the original, while snappy and efficient, didn't give the feeling I wanted it to.
“What happened to your coat?” she asked.
“I gave it to a gentleman who looked like he needed it more than I did.” The tip of his cigarette glowed orange, and he returned her lighter to her. His eyes looked warm in this dim light.
She tucked her lighter back into her coat. “And what happened to your date?”
“I called her a cab. I was hoping to chat with you before returning home.”
The beginning of this fic spends a lot of time dwelling on how suspicious Marinette is of Adrien's motives. This scene offers her a glimpse of his kindness for the first time, forcing her to reexamine her assumptions. The dialogue wasn't very effective or emotionally charged, so the quippy dialogue instead became:
It was indeed Adrien Agreste, chatting with a young man in a threadbare coat that looked like it might have once been a blue officer’s uniform, but had weathered enough snow and shrapnel to be little more than scraps. The right sleeve was pinned up to the shoulder.
Adrien shrugged out of his coat and handed it to the young man. “There’s some spare bills in the pocket. Get yourself something hot to eat and a room.”
He sounded like the boy who had abandoned her, not the man who had returned. His voice was gentle, uncertain. There was none of the swagger she’d seen in the young man in her shop that morning, nor the cold grin he’d sported when he’d entered the Lucky Lady.
Even though it's less efficient, it is much more effective. It allows me to linger in Marinette's loneliness a little bit longer before Adrien approaches her, and it lets me flesh out the post-war Paris setting with a bit more atmosphere.
I also spent some time revising the angelic metaphor paragraph. It was really important to me to include saint-reminiscent iconography around Adrien during this scene. I want my readers well-aware that even though Marinette is suspicious of Adrien, he's still the Adrien we know and love, and they can trust that I am going to explain his suspicious actions.
“I heard a rumor that if a gentleman is down on his luck, you’re the lady to see.”
“I’ve been known to reverse fortunes,” she murmured. “From toppling those on thrones to lifting up those in the gutter. You don’t strike me as a man in a gutter.”
He turned his head to blow a lungful of smoke away from her. The street lamp glinted off of his hair, creating a golden halo. “One man’s heaven,” he shrugged, and let the rest of phrase disappear behind a rueful smile.
The above metaphor works, and I didn't change it a whole lot, but there are a few key shifts in the revision below:
“I heard a rumor that if a gentleman is down on his luck, you’re the lady to see.” And Adrien, like she had just moments ago, took in a long draw on his cigarette and held it in his chest.
“I’ve been known to reverse fortunes,” she murmured. “From toppling those on thrones to lifting up those in the gutter. You don’t strike me as a man in a gutter.”
He shrugged and turned his head to blow the smoke away from her. The street lamp glinted off of his hat and his bangs, creating a golden halo. “One man’s heaven.” He let the rest of phrase disappear behind a rueful smile.
The added inhale on the cigarette, harkening back to an earlier moment Marinette had where she holds onto the heat of it to try to forget her heartbreak, implies that Adrien is hurting just as much. It tells the reader he's still pining for Ladybug, too.
Moving the shrug from the end to the beginning stretches out that longing and it gives the dialogue more room to breathe. It's a tiny change from "'heaven,' he shrugged" to "'heaven.' He let the rest" but it does make a difference in the tone. It's not a blow-off response. It's pointed. It emphasizes his hurt more neatly, and even if Marinette can't recognize it, the reader hopefully can, even if unconsciously.
Also I forgot when I wrote the halo description that Adrien would of course be wearing a hat; it's 1920-ish.
So there you have it! A couple of changes made for creativity and efficiency, hopefully making the scene just a little more effective!
Omggg I just finished binge reading ondlb and I am IN LOVE!! Its so good am amazed at your writing!! Literally the best enemies fic in the fandom and one of my all time favs!!
ahh thank you! 🥺🙏🏼💗 sometimes i shake my head at myself for going so hard on a fanfic, but honestly i'm really proud of how it's turning out! i'm so so glad you're enjoying it 💕
if you like odnlb, i have more enemies au recs for you by some very talented authors who are truly skilled and whose abilities give me this exact feeling!
citrus and lavender by @heartfulselkie - this is like one of THE fics that inspired odnlb! the way selkie writes is just delicious, and the story is incredibly and lovingly crafted. they are exceptionally good at grabbing you by the heartstrings and making you feel the characters' emotions in your own body. c&l is one of my favorites and has a really special place in my heart <3
as time goes by by @redundant-lava - based on casablanca - 1942. it's amazingly written, clever, and emotionally gutting. this was MADE to be an mlb enemies au and lava did such a good job with it. i will never stop rec-ing it!
once more, with feeling by @zimtlein - this one is rated e, just a heads up. it's so so good! the way the relationship develops between marinette and adrien had me reeling from the first chapter. it's kind of dark but sooo romantic. if it's your speed, it's a good one to binge!
et donc, ils dansent by dame_de_la_chance - amazing, awe-inspiring! the feelings i felt while reading this! the way the enemies dynamic is portrayed is just so juicy, and there's so much pining. i go back and read it every so often to soak in the masterfulness.
heroes don't love villains by vrdant - gosh this one is so good. i have read it so many dozens of times and it's still not enough. this author is such a good writer and captures feelings so well. this one will be burned into your soul for sure.
marionette strings by @rosekasa (maketea on ao3) - absolutely stunning. omg. i reread it again while writing these recs and it shook me to my soul. alizeh is a master of the craft and a master of enemies ladynoir. this fic changed me and it will change you too.
(can i rec my own fic as well? matter of luck is just a fun romp. i haven't abandoned it, just had all my time sucked in by odnlb :) but as soon as that's done, back i go to matter of luck!)
all of these fics have inspired and influenced me in some way. i cannot rec each one enough, especially because enemies ladynoir is currently my favorite flavor of fic >:))
Oh, uh... that's a hard one since I feel pretty strongly about all of my fics. Each of my fics are my pride and joy for various reasons! If I had to choose one for the current moment though... them I guess it would be Bell the Cat? I've been working hard on this fic (and have even been using it as a starting point for my final project assignment..)
🤩 What's the most meaningful comment you've ever received?
Every comment I receive has meaning to me! 🥺 I would like to give a shout out to my readers who have left comments on my fics who validate the emotional aspects of the stories I write.
Mental health is a common theme in my fics (with depression and anxiety, among other things that require serious tags) and I do my best to represent these things accurately. It means a lot when people say they can relate to the situations I write and that they feel comforted or validated in their own feelings.
I write fic as a way to explore and express my own feelings. So when people tell me that they connect with what I write it just means a whole lot to me. More than I can express really.
📝 How many words do you have posted?
Umm.... (breaks out the calculator)
If I got it all right then I've posted 727,186 words (so far!)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY @rosekasa !!!!!! to one of my favorite people in the fandom and in general. you are so sweet and in commemoration i drew scenes from this sweet sweet fic of yours
https://archiveofourown.org/works/20968910
(thats a half truth, this fic actually just lives in my mind rent free,, this is kinda a gift to myself bc ive read it so many times LMAOOO)
like, all your writing is Phenomenal but THIS................. MAN THERES JUST SOMETHING ABOUT IT. SUCH GOOD POST REVEAL MARICHAT IM IN LOVE
anyways you've officially been 18 for 49 minutes so congratulations. grown up so fast 🥺🥺 ily alizeh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN 🎂 !!
