#rrxr

[rrxindrops]

bizi biz büyüttük

biz öldürdük

gömdük içimizde ne varsa

anlaşılmasın diye birde çiçek ektik üzerine

[rrxindrops]

I was talking to myself, trying to explain something in an imaginary scenario. Struggling to find the right words, I ended up using three languages in one sentence. Yes I’m multilingual but gradually becoming byelingual 🙂

[rrxindrops]

Turkish poğaça🤍

[rrxindrops]

I wish I had at least one person, just one person, someone who lived close by and whom I could go out with whenever. I feel so lonely sometimes, and I’ve always felt this way since I was a kid. I've had opportunities to explore and try new things, but I never had someone who shared my interests or could join me. I feel like I missed out on so much of my childhood and my 20s due to loneliness. It wasn’t about the big events but rather the smallest moments that meant more to me, which I couldn't experience because of loneliness. Does that make sense? I deeply crave companionship. Though I have close friends, I’ve never had someone truly, deeply close. My friends are good people, alhamdulillah, and I cherish the times we've had together, may Allah bless them always. But I crave more, more rawness and openness. I want to feel like I can talk to someone with 100% transparency. My soul has always been searching for that. I pray to Allah that I find that in my future spouse, and I want to experience our lost childhood moments together with him.

[rrxindrops]

At this point, coffee doesn’t have any effect on me anymore. I drink it out of routine to have a companion with me when I do stuff.

[rrxindrops]

Do you find yourself thinking about certain people from time to time? Maybe someone you chatted with years ago, a stranger you shared a laugh with, or an old friend from high school. Do you ever wonder what they're up to and wish you could reconnect to hear their stories?

[rrxindrops]

My Allah grant me to perform Umrah again. I need it.

[rrxindrops]

I thought certain things would become easier as I grew older.