Side Effects May Include Death
Inspired by this RTAA
Abel: *leaning back with a dramatic sigh* There was one time when I didn’t realize I was having panic attacks. So I went to the hospital— in the Sloth Ring— and they gave me a potassium pill. And I said, “Potassium , huh? Can I just eat a bunch of bananas?” She goes—
Belphegor: *completely deadpan, barely looking up from her clipboard* “No. It’s a little bit more than just eating a banana. Try to be careful with potassium.”
Abel: And I said, “Why is that?” And she says—
Belphegor: *casually* “Because, if you take too much, it can stop your heart!”
Alastor: *immediately bursts into loud, unrestrained laughter*
Abel: *gesturing emphatically* As if that’s not bad enough, I had just swallowed the thing and I go, “Well, how do you know how much is too much?” She goes—
Belphegor: *matter-of-fact tone* “Oh no! It’s a regulated dosage. But that’s the kind of thing— like potassium, the thing you just took…” *leans slightly closer, glancing around conspiratorially* “…whenever you hear about a nurse killing a patient, that’s what they give them.”
Abel: And she fucking walks out!
Alastor and Rosie: *both collapse into hysterical laughter*
Alastor: *wheezing, clutching his stomach* HAH—! Oh that woman has exquisite comedic timing!
Abel: *pouting, arms crossed* You know as soon as she turned around she’s got the biggest fucking grin. That’s probably the best part of her job.
Alastor: *still wheezing with laughter, wiping a tear from his eye* I adore her already!
