#ruby addiline

[novemberivy]

I had to tweet this since it's absolutely true

[novemberivy]

3.31.17

today was great day  i got my ticket to fleet foxes i got 2 vintage dresses for $8  i got dressed  the sun was out  it was some what warm i cleaned my room i started my adventure of making a dress i wasn’t sad then i went to the store with my sisterinlaw  then some mother fucking asshat followed me around the store making it very obvious what he thought of me i went numb  october 23 feelings came all over  i hate that guy  hate  i don’t feel bad for saying that  i sorta wish i did feel bad  but i don’t  i honestly believe that people who are like that have chosen to stop being human they themselves have chosen to have the power of being a human & have given themselves up completely to they’re animal in them  it reminds me of an animal that has rabies  and an animal with rabies should be put out of its misery & die i hate him  i came home  crying  sat in my room  lite my jesus and mary candles because its helping me feel His presence right now  and i cried at His feet  i cried because i hate this  why  why  why  how could someone treat another someone like this  i don’t understand  my brother came to check on me  he told me that males are pigs  but that he prays and he knows that one day a good man  a redeemed man  is going to love me & treat me exactly how i should be treated  that this isn’t forever  that he prays that i would feel His safety all around me  that alone made me weep  then my sweet baby niece came over and gave me all the hugs and kisses  so sweet  so kind  so pure  she has no idea why i was crying  i pray she never needs to know this feeling  all i know is that she saw i was hurting  that i’m broken  & that i needed her love. 

[novemberivy]

Honestly, I just want to live this life to the fullest. I want to make people laugh the hardest they've ever laughed. I want to cry with people the hardest they've ever cried. I desire to stir up a depth of emotion that maybe they've never reached. To be with another who feels life as deep as I do is what desire.

Ruby 

[novemberivy]

I honestly believe it is so strange how many people love me, but I still feel so alone and misunderstood.

R.A.

[novemberivy]

5:45am I literally lay here awake Thinking of you Genuinely missing you I worry about you I hope your taking good care of yourself. There's a part of me that says that as usual it's a lost cause to care about you, but you need it. If I've ever learned anything it's that anyone and everyone is worth waiting for. Something always comes around May it be me, you, us, or this Something always moves, or changes I can only hope for the good I can only expect the unexpected. Everyone tells me to be careful, but you know that I don't know what that means. To be careful means to only be half into this. Half heartedness because I'm afraid? I think not. I refuse to be afraid of you or anything. Therefore I'm all in And then when I'm not supposed to be all in anymore, because this is what always happens, I'll be all out when it comes to this game. You maybe with her, but you and I both know that you & I are different. You and I both know that that's what "they" all say But I know that there's something unspeakable that I have that no other female in your life has... A peace that passes all understanding. I've fallen in love with you I don't want to be with anyone else but you But as a smart lover does I move on. Love is something I love to share. I'm good at loving more then one person at a time & I'm good at loving someone who will never love me back... I'm actually an expert at that. So that's that. I bid thee goodbye & I know that when you need me next time, because they always do, I'm never gonna love you any less then before... I'll most likely love you more.

[touroflove2k13]

#touroflove2k13: what is it?

I've started this tour of love for a reason. Ever since April, when my life changed forever, I knew that I needed to get out of my little town Medford & see great things & the great people that came along with that. I forgot how much I loved people, places, & things these past couple of months. I wanted to remember how much I loved them & why I loved them, therefore I've decided to travel as much as I possibly can. To venture out to see beauty & loveliness to the extreme. I have an obsession for beauty & adventure. I have a great desire to have love over take my life & to share it with others. So this is my blog to share with you all these things. Enjoy & remember how much you are loved & never stop being thankful that you are.

[novemberivy]

When ever I wanna feel human again, I just listen to "Ride". She gets me. It's as if she knows my heart & my thoughts. They're all heart breaking & lovely at the same time.

Ruby Addiline