#touroflove2k13

[touroflove2k13]

This first week of school has been eye opening and life changing. My first class was Bible Study Methods. When walking into that class you don't really expect much since its called "Bible Study Methods", but I'm glad that I was wrong. Our first assignment was to pick one verse from Philippians chapter 1. This is what I chose: "According to my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death." Phil 1:20 I honestly did not know why this verse spoke to me at first till I started breaking it down. word. for. word. I realized how I haven't been a living, thriving vessel for Jesus. I honestly was convicted in my heart about so many things that I was okie with.(Now, I know that some who may read this will most likely disagree with me and what I'm about to say, but whatever, its life & its not interesting if I don't offend at least one person.) It says "CHRIST WILL BE MAGNIFIED IN MY BODY" that's where it hit me and all I can think about is all the crap I've taken in. I never thought I was going to be this person, who got convicted about drinking. I seriously know now that I can not drink alcohol. It's not for me. All I could think about was "How in the world am I going to magnify my Jesus, my Abba Father, when I'm a drunk?" ....yeaaaaa that won't be happening. Now, I'm not saying that YOU ALL NEED TO STOP DRINKING! I'm only saying this towards myself & if you feel the same way for yourself then cool, were likeminded. If not, cool, I still love you.  In all, I've loved being here. My soul has needed it. I feel like I've been out on a stormy sea for so long, and now I'm on solid ground, walking amongst the streams of living water. Seriously though, there's little streams from the hot springs every where. He's showing me, telling me, reassuring me, comforting me, restoring me. I'm learning how precious I am to Him. I'm truly learning that my weeping in my life is turning into joy. I'm experiencing the everlasting Morning for the first time. I'm gradually moving out of mourning and into morning. I didn't know I was missing out on this. When His glory shines down on me its more then just warming my skin, its warming my heart. I'm in a time of Jubilee. He's blessed me with great friends down here too. I know that many of you are praying for me, and I thank you so much for that. He's blessing me. I've waited along time for this time. Prayers are really answered my friends, please do not give up on Him. Its only a matter of time. If I can do it, you can do it. I have faith in you, and better yet I have faith that Jesus is providing for you.

[touroflove2k13]

The benefits of living in Southern California: Being an hour or so away from LA. Being an hour away from San Diego & being only a couple of hours away from The Mission! Yesterday (August 27,2013), Kenzie & I got some visitors! Our dearest friends & they also happen to be Kenzie's family, came to visit us on their way back to The Mission in Mexico. It was so good to see them, especially after all that has happened down there this past week.  I loved hearing about the kiddies & how well they're handling Mimi's passing. They really do see how blessed she is to be going to heaven. It calms my heart down to know that the rest of my kids are doing okie. If they can do it, then I can do it. There was much laughter, a lot of hugging, a lot of crying, but mostly a lot of laughing. I love that even though we might not get to see all of each other all of the time, will all always be family, and will all always love each other. Pray for The Mission. Pray that every soul down there would be strong & courageous. That they would have wisdom beyond their years. Peace that passes all understanding. Love that's overflowing. Pray. Pray. Pray. *I love you my mission family.

[touroflove2k13]

Yesterday: August 26, 2013 was a very exciting day. It was my friend Kenzie & I's first day of school at Calvary Chapel Bible College in Murrieta, CA. Kenzie drove all the way from Ohio this week just to be here. We also haven't seen each other in over a year. Its been a long time since I've been able to be in her fine company. I love that we're here together. We're also roommates!

I can honestly tell you that in the summer of 2012, when Kenzie & I were roommates down in Mexico, we never thought we would be here together. Not because we didn't wanna be here together, but because it wasn't even a thought or a possibility to us...yet. After my mom passed away I felt lead to sign up for CCBC down here in Murrieta. I've been wanting to come here since I was 19, but it just wasn't time yet, till now. I never thought I would get this opportunity...ever.  Kenzie signed up for down here too at the same time as me, yet we both had no idea that we signed up at the same time. We didn't realize that we had till one day we were just talking on the phone catching up on life. When we found out that we were both wanting to go here we obviously started screaming and jumping for joy.

And now we're here. We're really here.

I'm still trying to take this all in. It's a very beautiful place here. I feel so blessed, and honored to be here. Today we pick our classes we want to take. I have a few in mind, but I'll let y'all know when I find out what I get.

Thank you to all who are reading this. I look forward to the coming new adventures I'll get to share with you.

[touroflove2k13]

This earth lost a sweet soul today. My little thirty- something year old kitten passed away this morning due to Tuberculosis. Yes, you heard me right, tuberculosis. It still is around these days. It shocks me too. But she had an amazingly long life. When they first got Maria at the mission, DEF, the child services of Mexico, said that she most likely wouldn't live past the age of 15. HAH! Low, and behold, she lived till her late thirties! 

She was a feisty little son of a gun! Whenever she would get mad that you were taking her toy that she would be obsessing over in that moment, she would straight up scratch you until you bled! HAH Its a very humbling moment when a midget beats you up. Yes, I took it there. No, I am not being rude. She loved being her little self. But after every time she would get angry and after she was done throwing her fit, she would cry and give you the biggest hug EVER! Her kisses were always big, sloppy, wet kisses too! Awe, wow. 

She loved to love. She loved sitting and playing with her jewelry. She loved dressing up. She loved her baby dolls. She loved going on the swings. She loved going in the wagon down to the store. She loved it when you would rock her back and forth like a baby and called her "baby Maria" at the same time. She loved throwing her water on herself on a hot day. She loved going to the zoo and seeing all the animals. She loved Sundays because it meant church and Sunday brunch! She could barely talk, except for the words "No" and "Taco", but you knew that she loved you NO MATTER WHAT! 

*I miss you already Mimi, but I'm glad to know that your free now. That your not hurting anymore and that your with people that you love! You are one of the bravest people I know, Maria. I love you, kitten, and I can not wait to see you in Paradise.*

[touroflove2k13]

Yesterday was my last full day here in LA county, till my future trips here from school. I was so blessed, and honored to have spent my last whole day with a person I had never met before (or at least that I know of). I’m not really sure what Danny Ramirez is to me…he might be a distant cousin of mine since we both have the same last name, but this I do know: that he became one of my dearest friends yesterday.

I’m not sure if he knows how much yesterday meant to me. I wasn’t sure how much it meant to me till I came home, sat down, and thought about my day. I think what made it so great was the fact that he could understand me. What I mean by that is this: You may or may not know, but in April of this past year my mom pasted away from brain cancer. Honestly, the worst 3 months of my life & some of the most blessed 3 months of my life. Fire & water. I don’t ever expect anyone to really understand this hurting that burns in my soul most of the time. I have come to the realization that this was my hurting that I was meant to only carry by myself. That seriously all changed yesterday. Danny knew the hurt that I am going through. He knows exactly what its like to lose a parent. Talking with him yesterday was seriously exactly what I needed. He’s someone in my family, that is young, and understands. I needed that right before I went and started school.

I don’t think I’m gonna be able to shut up about how much fun I had with my cousin in LA for a really long time. We went all over. Catching up about everything. Talking about movies to outer space. It was fantastic. The last time I ever got that excited about talking about movies to outer space with was my mom. I was just honestly just telling the Lord, “I need to talk to someone who will flip out about the dumb stuff that I love, and love it just as much as me again.” And as soon as you know it I’m on a crazy adventure with my cousin who I most likely haven’t seen since I was a baby!

So Danny, thank you for being a part of my family. Thank you for loving me and for loving all the same weird shit. (hahah). I really believe with my whole heart that you have been given a gift of loving others: making people you barely even know feel welcomed & accepted. That’s an amazing gift to have. We need more people like that on this earth.

[touroflove2k13]

Leaving the town you grew up in...is seriously one of the most exciting feelings I have experienced. I will be honest, yes, I will miss my home. But, I am so ready for a new adventure. We all are. I love that I'm going to only be an hour away from two of my dearest friends. Matyson is starting her first year of college at Biola & Christina is in her last year of college at the same school.

WE'RE ALL STARTING NEW ADVENTURES!

The hardest part about starting new adventures is saying good bye to the ones that you love back home. I know I'm going to all see you again so soon, but I just wish you were all here having fun with me!

On my last Sunday home I thought it would be good for me to go out to Applegate, one last time. I will admit, I haven't been able to go out there ever since i got back from Mexico in July. Too many memories that I'm just not ready to face. But, I went. I said hello & I said goodbye. I will always love it out there. I love going out in the beautiful country side of Oregon to meet with the Lord out there. I know that one day I'll be able to come back and not feel the sadness that I still have in my heart. In the mean time though, I'm gonna go heal my heart in California.

Monday, August 19th, 2013. Christina & I start our adventure down to sunny California. It was a road trip filled with laughter & tears. I'm so glad that we are here for each other. We have seen many of each others colors. We are real with each other. We're those kind of people that love to express our passions for this world as loud as we can.

This has all taught me how no matter what, no matter where, no matter when, we're all on our own new adventure. I love the fall because I feel like this is when the new year really begins. I'm taking all this as new beginnings. Fresh start. This is what I would encourage all of you to see & do. To step into this very day, or moment, and make it that fresh start. We need new beginnings. We thrive on the freshness of a new day.

[touroflove2k13]

I was so lucky to get to go to lovely Portland before I would start my venture down to California. They’re are many that I love here in this city & its very rare that I get to see all of them at one time, but this time around I got to see all my favorite people. My favorite part was that I really got to spend a good amount of time with them, more then I even expected. I got to hear what has been on their hearts & minds & it blessed me. I love how much they love. While I was there I got to see my friend Emily & her band perform. I loved the show from beginning to end. I even started crying it got my heart so good. But it was in the middle of her show that I realized why I have the leading on my heart the way I do. I could honestly hear this still, calm voice tell me “Ruby, your doing this for them.” & Instantly after that a story my mom would tell me all the time came into my mind. It was the story of the Samaritan woman who was with many men, standing at the well, when all of a sudden Jesus came right up to her, showing her His loving kindness. My mom would tell me that she was that woman, and that Jesus came up to her showing His love for her. A kind of love that she had never experienced. Pure, unabashed kind of Love. It was in that moment that I knew that I was called to share this kind of love. Yes, I’m saying this here and now, I am currently on my way down to Bible College. I desire to become a Pastor and a Life Coach. Some of you may be excited for me. Some of you may be even offended by the fact that I could think I could ever even dream of being a Pastor. But in the end all that matters is that I do what I know I have been made to do. And whats that you may ask?

It is to show His love. To share His love. To encourage His love.

I think its funny how some get offended by the fact that I say “I want to become a Pastor.” Don’t worry, y’all. Its gonna be okie. Its gonna be great. And you know what the beautiful thing is? You don’t ever have to listen to what I have to say to you, if it offends you that badly.

So, today, I write this to you out there who feel misunderstood, unloved, unwanted, confused, depressed, or just completely broken. Love is real. He is real. Shit happens so that we can grow stronger & grow a little more interesting AND so that we can see His faithfulness in the long run. DO NOT EVER GIVE UP! HOLD FAST TO HIS GOODNESS & REMEMBER HIS GLORY! ITS ALL AROUND YOU!!! I say all of this because I genuinely understand & because I genuinely care.

*i love you all my dear friends in Portland. Thank you for loving me. Know that I do this for you.*

[touroflove2k13]

June 27, 2013 is the day that my dear friend Maddy & I left The Mission. We had been there for a month and a half, but it had felt like a year. We were tested and we were tried, but I know that we can both say that we would do it all over again. The people who are in charge of The Mission had asked me if I would want to stay again another year to be on staff. As much as I wanted to I knew in my heart that it was not the right time for me to be down there. I knew in my heart that my family needed me. So I went back to Oregon. Here are some pictures from the end of June going into July.

1.I love 1950s Samba music. It reminds me of my childhood. So one fine day Miss.Matyson Harlow and I had a lil Samba party. It seriously made me smile from ear to ear to hear some of the sounds of my childhood.

2.This is Christina. Her and I have now known each other for 7 years. She cracks me up. She is both thoughtful and insightful. On the day that we took this picture we were with a group of our friends at this so called river. *it seemed more like a creek to me.* The smoke was sooo thick from the fires near by, but we didn't care, we just kept hanging out down by the river talking about life.

3.This face that I'm making. Its' the "I'm trying to survive at this wedding" face. You'll most likely hate me for this but oh well...I'm not really one for weddings. I only go to the ones that I feel I need to be at. So if you invite me to your wedding & I come, you should feel honored (yea, I'm a beezy about weddings. whatever. I have my reasons. you'll most likely will find out why later.)

4.This is Maddy & I on our last day in Mexico. it was a day FILLED with laughter & tears. She loves those kittys with all of her heart & soul. I love how much she pours into loving those kids and they love her so much for it too.

5.Matyson's hair is like a mermaids. nuff said.

6.This is Addi & I on my 23rd birthday! We got to spend my special day adventuring all over LA. It was a ball! Addi & I are coming around to almost 10 years of being best friends. Hah, we like to see ourselves as Jane Austin characters. Addi is my Eleanor & I am her Marianne. It suits us ever so perfectly.

7.And this here my friend is the album of the past season of my life. Sufjan Stevens "Greetings From Michigan". They're two songs on this album that make me weep: "Oh God, Where Are You Now?" & "Redford". They get me. You should listen to it. They'll get you too. I love "Oh God, Where Are You Now?" so much. You have to admit, you've most likely have asked that question before. And I'm here to tell you that its completely fine for you to ask that question. No, you are not going to hell in a hand basket for it. It's only a question. And then by the next song, "Redford", I feel like the question gets answered. No, they're are no words to the song. Yes, it makes perfect sense to the question "God, Where Are You Now?". In life we need to know that words are over used & that sometimes its in the silence that we find our answer. If its silent that usually means there's peace. Take that. Hold that close to your heart, and receive that as your answer to your question.  

[touroflove2k13]

On May 23, 2013 I made my way down to one of my favorite places: The Mission in Carmen Serdan, Mexico. I love it there. A piece of my heart will always be with these lovely souls. They have blessed me so much more then I thought I have blessed them. This last time I was down there with my kittys (that's what I call all my kids I take care of down there. They meow at me and call me their kitten) they had heard that I had never gone camping. So, for my birthday they decided that we would have a cookout like we're camping. Hah, so yes, I still have not gone camping BUT I have had a cookout like one! Either way it was the best cookout I'll ever get to have in my life because it was with the people I had first learned how to love with my whole heart.

If you ever get the chance to take care of someone in great need of your care, do it. Serve them with all your heart. Don't ever expect them to say thank you, but know that every moment your taking care of them that they are thankful. Each day that you do this your mind, your heart, & your soul will grow & change into a person full of pure wisdom & knowledge of the world around you. You learn to see things from the other side. Its a proven fact that serving others helps with depression. This is true. I would know. I've suffered from depression for a very long time and it honestly wasn't until I met these kids that I fully understood how selfish it was of me to be depressed. I mean, honestly, lets think about this: Your most likely reading this, well they can't read. You most likely can walk and or run, well some of them can barely walk. You have every thing, but yet you complain. They barely have anything, but yet they are some of the happiest people I will ever know.

I most ardently desire to be like these children. These are the people I look up to.

[touroflove2k13]

1.My tour of love started with a little dinner with some of my close friends & family. The beautiful red head in this picture is my dear Matyson Marie Harlow. I'm so great full for her friendship. 2.This is my dear friend Whitney. I'm so grateful for this girl because she will stay up talking to me till the sun comes up! 3.This is Mera & Jeremy. I have been so blessed to have them be my big brother & sister in my life. 4.This is my grandparents. I love them with all of my heart. I'm so glad that we have each other. They always have been supportive towards me going after my dreams. *thank you for loving me*

[touroflove2k13]

#touroflove2k13: what is it?

I've started this tour of love for a reason. Ever since April, when my life changed forever, I knew that I needed to get out of my little town Medford & see great things & the great people that came along with that. I forgot how much I loved people, places, & things these past couple of months. I wanted to remember how much I loved them & why I loved them, therefore I've decided to travel as much as I possibly can. To venture out to see beauty & loveliness to the extreme. I have an obsession for beauty & adventure. I have a great desire to have love over take my life & to share it with others. So this is my blog to share with you all these things. Enjoy & remember how much you are loved & never stop being thankful that you are.