do you think you could write a little megruby thing of them talking about their different human lives pre-demoning?
“Do you ever think about your life before you were mixed in with the Winchesters?”
Ruby blinked, because she wasn’t sure if she did. If she could remember anything before Lilith came to her in Hell, pulled her off the rack, gave her life meaning again. She’d been waiting for something since John Winchester was born. And that something just so happened to be niave Sam.
Meg, who had gone by her hosts name for the last five years, was watching for an answer. Something Ruby wasn’t sure she could give.
“I remember Hell. And then Lilith gave me a mission.”
Meg tangled her fingers through Ruby’s, squeezed tight. She looked caught in a thought. Frowning, biting her lip, human gestures. And Ruby was worried, because she’d never seen Meg so unsure of herself. Not in the year they had been travelling, conspiring, finding company in the nights when humanity was asleep.
“You don’t remember being human?” She asked quietly, eventually.
If she tuned out the screams of Hell, then sometimes she could remember what her life was like. Couldn’t remember her real name, or what she used to look like, but there was a glimpse of something.
“I was a witch,” Ruby said. Eyes tight shut, she could see altars. “Not one of these little wiccans you see now. We bled people dry for rituals. But there was one girl in my coven, Rebecca.”
And Ruby had to stop, because if she thought about that girl she once loved, she migt send herself back to Hell. Try and find the girl’s soul.
“What about you?” She asked. She was curious, because Meg was so much older than her, had been Azazel’s pet for years. A soul he broke himself, forced back together until it resembled something whole. “Do you remember being human?”
“I’ve started dreaming about it,” Meg confessed. She was still gripping Ruby tight. Purple painted nails pressed into Ruby’s palm. “I hate dreams, I forgot what they felt like but they’ve started again. And I just keep seeing my baby brother. I remember- I remember he was sick. Something they doctors didn’t know how to cure. And then when he died, I turned to every vice they had back then.”
And she wasn’t crying, demons couldn’t, but Ruby could see she wanted to. Hell, even Ruby was feeling that tugging of emotion in her heart. Or her host’s heart, she supposed. It was barely anything, but it meant so much.
She pulled Meg close, body pressed against body, wouldn’t let go. This was the closest thing she could feel to love. Intemacy, tenderness, understanding. Because who else knew what it was like to be dammed. And what it was like to stop caring.
Drafted into a holy war.
They believed in their cause, they did. Because their god, Lucifer, loved them despite who they were. And Hell was Hell but. It would be better surely once their god was freed.
“Sometimes,” Meg said. “I want to go back to the simplicity of being human. Waking up, love your family, go to work, fall asleep next to someone you love.”
“We can do that,” Ruby promised, Meg still tight against her. “When this is all over, we’ll find somewhere and be half human together. Okay?”
And Meg believed her.
