#rulesofwriting

[heathison]

HEATH ISON’S 10 RULES FOR WRITING

RULE #1 – MASTURBATE BEFORE EACH SESSION

This is the most critical rule for writing. I feel like this requires no explanation. And I haven’t jerked off before writing this so I have no intentions of getting in detail.

RULE #2 – DON’T WRITE FROM HEART, WRITE FROM ASSHOLE

The best and most honest shits come from your asshole. It’s honest, it’s pure, it’s all of your discharged excess. Don’t allow it to evade you.

RULE #3 – DON’T LISTEN TO RULES

Exactly.

RULE #4 – TELL ALL LOVED ONES TO “FUCK OFF”

It will be good for you AND them. And if they choose to never speak to you again, write them a postcard every day describing in brief (yet intricate) detail of every physical imperfection about them that makes you vomit. Come around their home at least once a week. The goal is a restraining order.

RULE #5 – DRESS SLUTTY

Because why wouldn’t you want to.

RULE #6 – PURPOSELY FORGET YOUR NAME

Because—like me—you’re a piece of shit. To just bury your own name consciously and willingly seems like an impossible feat. WRONG. I found what works best for me is taking small bludgeons to the hand with a hammer while repeating the word: SHITBAG.

RULE # 7 – PRETEND TO BE READING IN PUBLIC

Don’t actually read, that’s just fucked up. But rather take a book (maybe Sartre’s Being and Nothingness or Dostoyevsky’s The Brother’s Karamazov), and find a nice peaceful park or even—if you’re feeling lucky—the mall. The goal is to look as pretentious as possible. Sit cross-legged. Maybe even wear a pair of glasses.  

RULE # 8 – GRAMMAR, GRAMMAR, GRAMMAR

make, sure you use,. PROPER graMmar/ ther is litteraly no ezuse not too>. Uwant 2 imprex an git laid not , msamke urself luul like a dumabss

RULE # 9 – THROW TRASH IN FLOOR

You are a serious writer, are you not? So why in the hell would you bother getting up to put trash into a container designed for disposal? It’s just not practical for the writer.

RULE # 10 – DON’T ENJOY WRITING

It blows, it’s stupid. I tried to find synonyms for “blows” and “stupid” but what’s the point. I might as well dumb myself down just like the very act of writing itself.  Why am I even bothering to write this? Why are you even taking your time to read it? Please hit the back button and reload whatever it is you were looking at through your little screen (hopefully porn).

Follow these simple rules and you’ll become a writer. Maybe even an author. 

[onlineidealab]

Cracking the Code of Content Writing Ethics - Online Idea Lab

Written by Kirthiga People are constantly seeking for information. Bulk volumes of content are available in the virtual world. Some are scripted with ethics while some are not. Content is consumed in an enormous amount, so it’s vital we give the readers content that is worth reading. One of the striking chords for a …

Remember the saying - Think before you Ink !!! Modern ways of writing have their own rules. Follow these ethics to win the hearts of your online readers.

[hariethblog-blog]

"The hard part of writing isn't scribbling words on a page. The hard part is scribbling words that mean something, that make sense." #RulesOfWriting #EveryWriterNeedsToKnow

[balladsandblueprints]

Good character development is when characters change without changing their character. This should be a fundamental for television and literature.

[jennwilllove]

6 Have regrets. They are fuel. On the page they flare into desire. From Geoff Dyer's "Ten Rules for Writing Fiction"

[realmsofanopenmind-blog-blog]