March 22 2025
I wish I could share my running/training on Facebook where my family/friends are. Unfortunately, it always backfires. Everyone assumes I’m magically cured from cancer or they think I am physically capable of going “back to normal”. No one reads my write ups about what goes into training a body like mine. Next thing I know, my comments are blowing up. It’s not worth it. It seems the only people who “get it” are those that have actually experienced cancer themselves or they had to be a caregiver to someone with cancer. I try to educate as much as I can but if no one listens, then I may as well be talking to the wall. This disease can be really lonely, sometimes.
I did 18 kilometres, today. Running this far on this body is challenging so I have to do a lot of things that “normal people” don’t have to think about.
Pain medications. I took 1 mg of hydromorphone. 1 (100mg) Celebrex. 1 extra strength Tylenol. 10km’s in, I had to take another 1 mg hydro. (Compared to other cancer patients with the same level of bone metastasis, this is hardly anything but I don’t want to get constipated.)
Resting. I had to take 2 - 5 minute breaks to relieve the strain off my neck and upper back. Once at the 10km mark and once at 15km’s. (I would likely need to do it every 5km’s.)
Heart rate. I can’t go over 155 bpm which forces me to walk when I don’t want to. If I go over, I gas out and the fatigue just takes over.
Cadence. I have to keep a watch on how fast my steps are or my hip joints will scream at me.
Stride. Again, I have to watch my stride distance. I take these dumb baby steps now and that helps a lot. I used to be an “over strider” so this has taken a lot of practice.
Focus. I have to focus on not moving my neck much. This requires me to rely on my peripheral vision. Otherwise, I have to turn my entire body if I need to say, look both ways before crossing the road. If I move my neck too much, I get issues like “crunching” and then my neck goes super stiff and sore for a week.
Sleep. If I get under 8 hours sleep, I wouldn’t run this far. If I don’t sleep enough, I am prone to more pain and inflammation which can result in an injury.
Hydration. I have to make sure to sip water or an electrolyte every 15 minutes. If I get dehydrated, that can cause more pain, heart palpitations and severe fatigue.
Anyway, there’s more things like nutrition, post exercise recovery and the list goes on. Shorter runs are a lot easier and doesn’t require as much preparation.
Scenes from my run, today.
Navigating an illness or physical issues while trying to run is extremely challenging. It’s worth it (for me), though. It keeps my mental health in check and that’s worth its weight in gold.
There will come a time where I won’t be able to run anymore. I realize this. It’s upsetting to think about but it is what it is. At that time, I will have to figure out what to do to combat the depression but in the meantime, I’m trying my best to keep going. Plus, I just love being outside. Out in nature or along the trails. By the beach. Breathing fresh air. Watching the deer, bunnies, trash pandas 🦝, squirrels, birds or any other wildlife I happen to see that day. (I really miss seeing the bears. That’s one of the very few things that I miss about the mainland.)
I know that most people wouldn’t run anymore if they had to deal with my level of pain. There’s also an element of risk involved, too. For example, if I were to fall, that could be catastrophic. Not to mention, the impact of running over time could make my neck more kyphotic causing more problems. Of course, anywhere on my spine, hip or pelvis could just fracture/implode one day, too. But, it would do that anyway. I don’t need to be running for that to happen.
I noticed my V02 on my Apple Watch has been in the “high” range for almost a month now. It’s taken nearly 2 years to get there. I don’t know how accurate this is but I’d like to believe that my higher activity levels are helping me. I’m definitely feeling better.
Anyway, I’m going to call my Oma, now. Can’t believe she’s going to be 96 in July. She’s very inspiring to me. She goes for her daily walks with her walker for an hour. She lives on her own and takes care of herself. The last few times I’ve talked to her, she’s been really antsy to get out in her garden and plant her flowers. She always makes the outside very beautiful. When she was younger (like, 80?), her front and back yard always looked amazing. She can’t bend down like she used to but she has raised beds or high flower pots, now.
I still haven’t read any Tumblr blogs for a while (I feel so out of the loop. lol) but it’s supposed to be pouring with rain tomorrow which makes it a perfect time to curl up with a cup of tea and read.
