#russian sadness

[plumandnightingale]

Every small leaf landed on your hair is a big warm smile from stranger trees that look at you.

—'Plum and Nightingale' 梅に鶯

© ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᶜʳᵉᵈⁱᵗ ⁱᶠ ʸᵒᵘ'ᵈ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵘˢᵉ ⁱᵗ

[plumandnightingale]

You can not end a fool because they keep multiplying. However, it is geniusness that is impossible to even double.

—'Plum and Nightingale' 梅に鶯

© ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᶜʳᵉᵈⁱᵗ ⁱᶠ ʸᵒᵘ'ᵈ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵘˢᵉ ⁱᵗ

[plumandnightingale]

They didn't think twice before killing. Why are they entightled to the forgiveness of the dead lamb?

—'Plum and Nightingale' 梅に鶯

© ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᶜʳᵉᵈⁱᵗ ⁱᶠ ʸᵒᵘ'ᵈ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵘˢᵉ ⁱᵗ

[plumandnightingale]

God is watching me, and when I die, he will cradle the child I was and ask me, "What went wrong? You were so devoted and wouldn't say anything but my name. But now you grew to hate my name and any line with it is the line you despise." I'll burn in hell and look up at you in heaven with so much love in my eyes- the same eyes that despised all gods that i ever spoke of with faith, and i'll burn and burn and burn, but all that i'll feel is awe because even in earth or heaven you still look like the god that was always above and greater than any angel or god. All while the child in the same cursed god's arms stare at me with love, hatred, disgust, fear or shame- none of which i'll know, none of which will matter, because to my eyes, you'll be the one thing i can see while the hell fires burns me alive and i'll watch you happy in heaven with dreamy eyes as my ears hear the screams of hell.

—'Plum and Nightingale' 梅に鶯

© ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᶜʳᵉᵈⁱᵗ ⁱᶠ ʸᵒᵘ'ᵈ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵘˢᵉ ⁱᵗ

[plumandnightingale]

I don't even love him because of he- but because of how he loves. He loves absolutely from the bottom of his soul, with everything and all the thing he has. He said, "There would be no world without her." That's how he loves. But- He loves someone else. I wish he loved me, but he loves her and she loves another. In my next life, I can be her and he can be himself, and I'll still love him and he can love, well, not me, but her. The her I become. Even If I won't be loved for who I am, it's okay, as long as he loves me, in the form of her, or in the form of whatever his heart wishes to love. Sometimes he tells me he loves me, but it's obvious he tells me that whenever he's drunk and only sees her. It breaks my heart, and I always go home and have cake because it drowns the broken pieces of my soul with the sweet crumbs of the cake. I prefer chocolate, but I've always loved the frosting. I don't know if he likes cakes. He looks so nice with the scars he hates, the same scars that scare her away, but he doesn't know how I'd love to caress them- but only if he'd see my face instead of hers. The same broken pieces of my very own soul that I swallowed grow pink flowers on them, and the maggots that scrape at my heart eat them. I'd never be able to believe it if he said he loved me. But good for him, he probably wouldn't.

—'Plum and Nightingale' 梅に鶯

© ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᶜʳᵉᵈⁱᵗ ⁱᶠ ʸᵒᵘ'ᵈ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵘˢᵉ ⁱᵗ

[plumandnightingale]

I started believeing in God again, the moment I laid my eyes on your moonlit sculpted face.

—'Plum and Nightingale' 梅に鶯

© ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᶜʳᵉᵈⁱᵗ ⁱᶠ ʸᵒᵘ'ᵈ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵘˢᵉ ⁱᵗ

[plumandnightingale]

Everything was so ethreal to me. Every single thing about it was filled with magic, sunlight and looked eternal. But just after she followed, Just after she learnt it, Just as she took it as her own- it rotted. It died like it never was eternal. It looked ugly like it never was the spring of my heart. Now I look at it's true beauty, only to see it vanish every once after hearing her name beside it.

—'Plum and Nightingale' 梅に鶯

© ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᶜʳᵉᵈⁱᵗ ⁱᶠ ʸᵒᵘ'ᵈ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵘˢᵉ ⁱᵗ

[plumandnightingale]

I had long hair, never beautiful, but long. And when I cut it off, I was happy- I was free. But now, it's all growing back, and along with it, the cages are too.

—'Plum and Nightingale' 梅に鶯

© ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᶜʳᵉᵈⁱᵗ ⁱᶠ ʸᵒᵘ'ᵈ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵘˢᵉ ⁱᵗ