I was on my way to work this morning on the I-17. Minding my own damn business when all of a sudden, something possibly metal flew straight towards my head. Luckily, my window was mostly shut. Unluckily, it shattered the entire window.
Now, a normal person may have panicked, swerving and possibly causing accidents and mayhem. I, however, am mostly dead inside so I barely flinched. Being a stone cold motherfucker comes in handy yet again.
Photos after the jump ...
Now I have a car filled with glass. Wonderful. The place I called said that they would have the glass ready tomorrow afternoon. Until then, I have to drive around like this.
So, I've been off XIV for a few days, RL's been rough, etc etc, blah blah blah. Life happens, we all get it. To be honest though, the thing draining my muse lately has been something very personal that has today boiled over in the absolute worst of ways.
I'm going to be losing my veneer of reasonability and friendliness here. I promise you, how I am about to sound is not how I normally react but this is a situation I hope and trust people can understand, perhaps relate to. If you want to avoid drama and want to keep out of a personal rant, please avoid reading past the cut.
@tarot-dancer (aka Neyuki) is my RP partner, best friend and girlfriend of roughly 9 years at this point, perhaps 10. It's been a long time. I know her, I love her, I have seen what an amazing person she is. How anxious she is to play her character and just be left alone, how sweet she is and how open to the community she has been. She's not just an amazing person though, but everything I do? All my writing skills, my talent for creation and development of stories? I learned it from her. She has notepads where she writes ideas down, she frets over every little detail and inspiration she had. She has a love for roleplaying and creating that is nearly boundless.
Except lately.
As some of you may know, or may not considering her private stance over it, Neyuki has been recieving anon hate. It has been going on for a period of likely at least a month, longer perhaps, but even to me she is reluctant to go into full details because this is absolutely -mortifying- for her. The anon hate, in summary, alleges the following;
Neyuki is a character who is 'fake' and 'stolen' because of her design elements
Neyuki's player, my BEST FRIEND and LOVE OF MY LIFE, is scum, worthless, uncreative, a hack, etc, because of these 'stolen'/'fake' elements.
Neyuki's player, once again my best friend and love of my life, should completely abandon Tumblr and the XIV community, because this anon doesn't think they should be on it. Or die.
Yes. Wishing death has been involved.
The elements Neyuki has been accused of stealing are her dancer-like clothing and design choices and her off-model horn colors. To be specific, she uses lighter Thavnair inspired design clothing because Neyuki is canonically from Thavnair. Her off-model horn colors are a prismatic/opalescent color. This anon feels Neyuki stole both these and other elements from her.
So Neyuki has taken these anon hate blows as best she can. Trying to figure out who would accuse her of such a thing and then send her such vitriolic messages instead of speaking with her like a sane, reasonable individual. She's endured and tried to move on, but it hurts her. It has been emotionally and creatively devastating to her and I've -watched- her. Watched her slip further and further from a community she loves being a part of and further from a character she immensely enjoyed, that she poured heart and soul into.
I'm going to state, for the record, that Neyuki has a -fairly- good idea of who this anon is, but because we cannot prove it aside from a circumstantial trail and some evidence that may-or-may-not be definitive, I'm not going to name names here. I will say that Neyuki has spoken to others in this community who have confirmed this person has caused issues before, but again, without proof I will not directly call them out. Why? Because in this community, even if I'm -dead on-, without literally their name signed on this anon hate and screenshots of every interaction (and hell, -with- that kind of evidence), someone will turn this around on Neyuki to drag her even more through the mud.
Fast-forward to last night. Neyuki is trying her damndest to get over this and sends a nice, polite message to a fellow user on tumblr. Name omitted because this isn't their drama. This person reblogs the ask Neyuki sends and as soon as they do, THEY recieve hateful messages. For even posting a message Neyuki sent them on their dash, they were now the victim of this person's misdirected bullshit.
To say Neyuki is hurt is an understatement. To say she's devastated is much, much closer to being true but that doesn't even cover it. Neyuki now feels like she can't even participate in the Tumblr community without this person hounding them. Stalking their friends and associates, bringign their hate and bitterness to bear on anyone she dared associate with publically. It's pushed her to the point she's seriously considering leaving the community and XIV in general.
So why am I posting this? Because as a rule I don't care about my public image on Tumblr. I don't care that by posting this I'm opening myself up for attacks and hate and once I post this, I'll return to my position of refusing to post drama or personal junk unless I feel it's necessary. What I care about is that someone close to me is suffering so deeply that she is considering abandoning something she absolutely loves and enjoys doing.
Because of a coward.
I won't defend Neyuki's design choices or inspirations here, because I don't feel these baseless accusations from such a hateful coward -warrant- defense. The character Neyuki Utaura has design elements inspired by real life aesthetic, her cultural background and what her player liked. Prismatic, different or pearlescent horns are not so special as to scream 'stolen' the moment someone has them. So jumping to the conclusion that someone knows about, much less cares about, a character's design choices enough to out and out steal them is an act of SUPREME ARROGANCE on the part of this hateful, disgusting coward.
What I will defend is Neyuki. Who has never held herself to anything but the highest standards when it comes to her roleplaying and creative choices. Who is the mother of my child and an amazing, warm person who puts faith, trust and love in others because she genuinely wants to enjoy her time in this community. I have never seen her do a single thing I would consider wrong, or theft, or anything but working her character concept to new places on her own experience. I have never seen her steal, never seen her follow a blog and suddenly change her character, we've never discussed how she likes x from y and wants it on Neyuki. What I have seen her do is have an idea, find someone else popular has that same idea and shyly decide to drop the idea rather than risk THIS. EXACT. SITUATION.
My final word on the matter is this.
I don't expect anyone to care. Or come forward about this, to apologie or to try and back themselves up with some kind of proof. I don't even expect anyone to take this as seriously as I do, because they can't SEE the physical and mental effects. They can't see how heartbreaking it is. They don't know. What Iwant is to remind everyone to consider the human on the other side of the fucking computer before you do things like this. Defend yourself, protect your ideas if you feel they're being stolen, but have the fucking stomach and maturity to handle it directly instead of hiding and tearing someone down in a way they can't defend.
And to you.
The person behind this. If you happen to read this. If you happen to have taken the time out of your undoubtedly busy day of stalking someone I care about and tearing them apart for the sake of your own bloated, selfish egotism.
You are disgusting. The words arrogant, self-involved or even paranoid float by, but do you no justice. What you are is a psychotic, cowardly narcissist. You have attacked, belittled, stalked and threatened, WISHED DEATH UPON, another human being for the supposed 'crimes' of their character reminding you of elements of your own. If you were so confident of your case and evidence, you would present it and directly confront Neyuki, but you do not because you have nothing.
ARE. Nothing.
I have my suspicions who you are. And you've already slipped up and played your hand to people who know and are friends with Neyuki. One day you'll push the boundary just a little too far and give me just the last bit of evidence I need to drop this tidal wave of bullshit on your lap where it belongs. All the anons, the death threat, the 'please don't draw this character' snide shots to artists, the attacks and stalking, I'll pile it directly on your head where it belongs and on that day I really hope your toxic little ass has friends to support and comfort you. Because you will find no mercy in myself and those who care about Neyuki, no 'all is forgiven' after the inevitable half-assed apology you'll squeeze out to save face and no amount of victim playing or whining will make me think better of you. I have no pity on your obvious shortcomings and emotional instability, no tolerance for whatever you'll try to hide behind.
You are, in my eyes, nothing more than scum that has hurt the woman I love. I hope one day I get to return the favor unto you.
Hi, I’ve talked about this before kinda, but a long ass time ago. So, I feel I should preface that I’m a huge supporter of LGBT+ rights. That being said, I’m a straight cis white man, which is basically the enemy of the LGBT+ community or at least that’s what it feels like. It just kinda bothers me when someone says “God I hate straight people.” And like I get it, really I do. Most of the worst people in history were straight, a good chunk of straight people are homophobic so I’m sure they say it from bad experiences. It’s just, exactly how people feel when a straight person says “God I hate gay people.” Cuz it’s attacking my sexual preference, but I get that it’s fair. But when does it stop being fair? When will it equal out? If someone from the LGBT+ community sees this, I welcome discussion. Any kind of clarity you could bring is welcomed as well.
Thank you, and have a good day.
P.S. I hope I didn’t offend anyone as that was far from my intention. I just mean to speak my mind and open what may be a difficult discussion.
