#ryanryle

[zarahprinsesa]

And we never talked again.

It’s painful to see you online but not giving a shit talking to me anymore. While i’m here waiting in vain for you to notice me but i shouldn’t do that right? This is so not happening. It ripped off my heart and pierce it a thousand pieces. It’s like looking for a missing piece again that i can’t bear to buy a new one to fit in my puzzle which only you could only complete.

[zarahprinsesa]

A goodbye and good riddance letter

Ryan Ryle Cruz,

Hello. These past few days it’s a rough days and it’s tough for me to face it every single damn day. You know why? Because I don’t know how to fight for it anymore. I don’t know where to go. I don’t know how to reach out anymore. I don’t know how to get back to you. I’m so scarred, so anxious and very hurt. Why? Why did you do that? Why did you make me feel that way? Why didn’t you listen? Why can’t you feel that i’m too fragile too? Is it because you know that I will always come back what ever happen? Is that it? I don’t know now. I love you still, that’s true but pain weakens me.

Ryan, i’m waiting. Things between us are too hard to put back in pieces. My trust is shaken. There are bubbles of fears and doubts floating in my head and i can’t find any solution to erase ‘em. Please make me stay. Please tell me to stay. Please love me the way you think I deserve. Please don't give up especially when it comes to my stupid attitude. Please don't ever change yourself, make me understand things by just talking with me and not getting mad at me.

I’m about to accept it, 3 days? A week? A month? You can be without me. You can go through without a Katrina in your life. You can be the Ryan Ryle you supposed to be but without me. It gives a sting in my spine everytime I think about it. Am i thinking too nuch? Tell me. Tell me everything’s alright. Convince me that things will not always be the same as it will depends on how it works.

I'm sorry I am not the perfect girl you have always wanted. I'm sorry. I'm very sorry about everything I put you through. I made you feel unimportant, worthless. No, It is not my intention. I just, I always caught up with the frustrations I have in my work and family, the pressure I always carry with me and because of that I lost, I lost control. I’m so sorry for not being the best girlfriend you ever had.

I still misses you that i want you to stay. But no, i will not tell it to you anymore. I won’t beg for you to stay. I will always pray for your happiness.

[zarahprinsesa]

I write you letters each time i remember you.

Every minute i want to write you letters just to tell you how much you consume my day thinking about you.

Funny that i’m not like this before but cheesy or not, my world revolves around you. All i can see is you. Obsession? No. It’s like how i value you as a person, as my lover.

I love being around you. I love the way you talk to me. The way you possess me. The way you kiss me. The way you hug me. The way you own me. I love everything about you.

[zarahprinsesa]

181 days

I love you not only because you seem to be perfect to me but also because I see that you are imperfect.

You know how to make me laugh and smile but there were times that you made me cry. Even though sometimes it's a sad thing for me and all that I could feel was emptiness, I never even have a thought of leaving you because when you make me cry I knew you feel sorry for what made me shed a tear or for whatever odd reason you made.

You might have broken some of your promises which eventually made me feel disappointed but it's nothing compared to all of the efforts you have given me from the very beginning.

It might sound like crazy but I still love you despite of all the pain. You might have hurt me but the love that you continue to shower me is more than enough to cure it. I am not giving up just because of the pain because I know it's a part of being in love. It even made me think like a fool that this pain is a nice kind of pain.

I choose to stay in love with you and keep this relationship going not only because of the good sides but also because of the bad sides and I choose to stay with you because I know the feelings that we have for one another is still the same.

Whether it is sunny, rainy or stormy I will still choose to be with you and continue loving you.

[zarahprinsesa]

May 4th.

I love you 3x a day

[zarahprinsesa]

5th

Few hours left before 16th and i’m not looking forward to it because im feeling sick. I don’t feel good at anything at all. I don’t know, i really feel bad about what happened, lemme just take a deep slumber til the clock turn 12.

Oh i got few words for you.

Honey, Love Me This Way

Love all parts of me, even the broke ones. The imperfect ones. Love the way I don’t always say the right words. The way I don’t always please people. Love me for me. This I ask you.

Love the person that I am becoming. The person that I know will be great someday. Love my dreams and ambitions and goals. Support me in everything that I do. Support me in my passion.

Love my past. Because that was part of me. Yesterday was the reason why I am what I am. And I hope you love every bit of it. I hope you accept who I was before.

Love me even if it’s hard. Especially when I’m a huge mess. Because that’s when I know you care for me. That’s when I know you’re trying to win my heart. That’s when I know you’re the one.

[zarahprinsesa]

How I wish I could fly from here to Dubai right now and guarded you up and tell to the world that you’re mine. What’s this fear i’m feeling again? What’s this barrier that I’m trying to break again? What’s this silence that makes me deaf? Please love, be honest. I will not get mad if you’ll say sorry and you really can’t make it instead of pushing this relationship and you’re not happy anymore. Because for me, through ups and down, pain and relieve, tears and laughter, right and wrong. I know I can make it, I can fight for it because you are worth the pain for me. But why is that I need to compete for a spot? Why??? Am I not worthy? Please tell me, give me assurance. Or else I’ll come up with my own reasonings again and you will not like it. I love you but please Take care of me

[zarahprinsesa]

Ryan

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.