summary: heeseung meets you outside after avoiding you at a house party, when you just happen to call him the wrong name that throws your whole relationship into question.
warnings: non-idol au, alcohol/drugs mention, heeseung is toxic, kinda situationship vibes- reader and heeseung's relationship is unclear, no happy ending
a/n: First off thank you so much to my lovely @inkchwe for beta reading and helping me edit. I want to turn this into a sort of series of toxic enhypen so please look forward to that!!
toxic love series masterlist ✰ heeseung ✰ jay ✰ jake ✰ sunghoon ✰ sunoo ✰ jungwon ✰ ni-ki
THIS DOES NOT REFLECT THE ARTIST'S BEHAVIOUR OR ACTIONS - THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION
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Loud music reverbs through your body as you try to stabilize your breathing. Tapping your foot against the patio, you wait for Heeseung to join you outside. It's been 10 minutes since you texted him, seeing him read and not respond feeding into your anxieties. A million thoughts a second come and go too soon, building onto an already nauseous feeling. Music seems to match your rapidly beating heart as it bleeds out from the house.
It was only after you saw him coming through the door, a girl wrapped around his arm that really made your heart sink. Heeseung turned back and gave her a sweet smile, saying something that you couldn’t quite make out before she lets go of him. She leans up to whisper in his ear, biting back a smile as he nods.
He finally turns to you standing a few feet away, not before allowing his eyes to follow the girl swaying her hips as she walks back inside. You clench your jaw as he walks up to you, a lazy smile playing on his lips, “What’s up sweetheart?”
“Where have you been? I’ve been texting you for the past 10 minutes trying to find you. And I saw you leaving me on read…” Attempting to keep your voice stable, you meet his eyes. Heeseung gives a little shrug before pulling out his phone, “Oh yeah sorry, was catching up with some old friends, must not have heard it buzz.” Quickly dismissing you, he opens a chat and replying to someone else.
“It’s fine I guess, Hee. Can we get going? It’s already getting late and I have early classes tomorrow.” Suddenly his fingers stop typing, seemingly frozen as he stares at his phone.
“Hee? Are you okay?” Stepping closer till your chests are almost pressed together, his eyes snap back to meet yours.
“What did you call me?”
Heeseung’s eyes are now boring into yours. His stare feels so intense you unconsciously sink into yourself a bit. “Uh I- I said your name?”
“You didn’t. You said something else. What did you say?” Heeseung’s voice comes out short and blunt.
He closes the distance, almost glaring down at you with how cold his eyes had become. The height difference had always been noticeable between you two but now it felt like he was towering over you, completely isolating you both from the rest of the world. The music buzzes into the background as your heart drums in your ears.
“Hee? What’s wrong with you, I don’t unders—" "That's what's wrong, why are you calling me that?”
The silence is deafening, suffocating.
“What are you talking about? It’s your name! Am I suddenly not allowed to say your name? Seriously, I don’t know what's up with you, but I just want to leave, so can we—”
“We?” Heeseung stares down his nose at you, eyebrows furrowed, “Listen you can go home if ya want, but I ain’t leavin’ yet. I got some friends waitin’ for me.”
It must be the alcohol, that’s the only logical reason you can think of. Or maybe he took something? Heeseung was never known for his drug use, but maybe something happened tonight when you two got separated. “What’s going on with you? Did you take something?” Heeseung just stares down at you, eyebrows still furrowed. “What’s going on with you?” That question makes you stiffen up, his tone was ice cold as he looked through you. You had never felt so small in front of him.
The few months you’ve gotten closer to Heeseung, he’s never been so cold with you. Always making an effort to be gentle towards you. It was one of the first things that drew your attention, Heeseung’s famously known ‘bambi eyes’. Eyes that held such comfort, now holding you down in place under his gaze.
“Hee?” It was barely a whisper but something glazed over his eyes. “What makes you think you can call me that?” It feels like something snaps in you. Nothing's made sense this entire night. “I don’t understand what you mean! ‘Hee’ is your name!” Your chest aches as your throat constricts, emotions overwhelming your body.
Everything is whirling around too quickly, nothing is making sense.
“I never said you could call me that. Why are you acting like you’re allowed to?” A cool breeze blows through you, the music from inside still pumps through your veins. “Are you being serious right now Heeseung?”
His eyes widened for a second seemingly taken aback by your reaction. “I told you why are you—” “Told me what?! That I’m nothing to you!” Tears flood your eyes but you refuse to let them fall. It’s a misunderstanding.
“So all our time together was nothing? Everything we’ve said, done for each other, nothing. You can’t possibly be saying that.” Your breathing gets labored as he cuts you off.
“I told you at the beginning of us that I don’t want anything serious, yet you were the one who didn’t listen. How is that on me?”
It feels like a bucket of ice water was just dumped on your head. Goosebumps rise across your arms. Looking up at him trying to meet his eyes, Heeseung looks past you.
How could he say that so casually?
A choked sob escapes you as tears streak down your face, chest squeezing all the air out of your lungs. It sets a sense of emptiness in you. Nothing. You were nothing to him. All the time spent together, the quiet whispers of romantic feelings, intimate nights together.
Nothing.
Everything you gave for him, crumbling before you.
He feels too awkward to look at you, drumming his fingers on his jeans waiting for something to happen, for you to say something. But it never comes. Heeseung never expected this reaction from you, he told you that he didn’t want anything serious, it's really not his fault if you caught feelings.
Looking up as Heeseung stood stiffly in front of you, refusing to acknowledge you.
Your chest rises and drops quickly, trying to calm your breathing. You will yourself to not let him see you cry over him. Whispering out, one last plea to him. “Heeseung look at me, please”
Heeseung looks down meeting your eyes, those soft bambi eyes looking back at you. Those eyes you fell so in love with, now causing the burn of regret and hatred within you. “You’re heartless Lee.” Your blunt tone catches him off-guard as you push past him, making your shoulders bump as you return to the party. You allow yourself to get lost in the drunk bodies dancing to the heartbeat of the booming music. Eyes slide shut as bodies surround you, the air heavy of smoke as the music drums on, leading your heart beat.
request: hi! i hope ur doing well, i love ur acc and i wanted to ask if you can do some shota x reader fluff,,, maybe he sneaks into ur room to cuddle and talk :)) 💗
p1harmony shota haku (soul) x gn!reader
wc: 705
summary: Shota comes home late to find you comfy and he can't resist melting into the warm bed with you, a bubble of love blocking off the outside world.
a/n: hii anon!! thank you so much for this request, it was super soft annd i really enjoyed writing it, so i hope you enjoy it lots <3
Shifting around in bed as you bury yourself into the blankets, the switch sitting in your hand lights up. Soft music chimes out as your island comes into view, Animal Crossing displayed. It was just past 11pm, only a few minutes after Soul had sent you a text.
‘Are you still awake? 〵(•́ ꞈ •̀)〴’
‘Yeah m’ just in bed now, do you have yer key? ♡’
‘Yesss!! cya 15 mins ʚ(*´꒳`*)ɞ’
Knowing he probably freshened up at the company you got comfortable checking through your island to pass time. Quiet chimes of the music fills the space as the side lamp gives a warm glow to the room and before you knew it, the telltale sound of keys jingling could be heard.
Footsteps down the hall as your eyes follow a dark spot in the water, trying to get close enough to trigger a fishing event without scaring it off. The sound of footsteps and water splashing rise and suddenly stop as the screen reads out ‘I caught a sea bass- no, wait! This is at least a C+’ making you scrunch your nose.
As you glare down at the sea bass with terrible puns, Shota stands leaned against the doorframe admiring you. The cute face you're making at the screen, how comfy you look curled up in bed, the light illuminates you so perfectly, gently kissing your skin Shota bites back a wide smile. When you finally look up, locking eyes with him as he moves towards you.
“Hi baby, welcome home.” You whispered out as he settled into bed, allowing himself to get tangled within the blankets and you, throwing an arm over your belly to pull you flush against him. “How was practice? Are the boys doing well?” Shota gave quiet recounts of his day, not wanting to ruin the calming environment you’d had created. He’d talk about funny stories of recording with Theo and Keeho, how Jiung and Intak kept teasing each other during practice, and the new moves he created with Jongseob. You nodded along as you continued your little tasks in the game, Shota watching intently.
It was only after you finished showing off your latest creation of a heart shaped pond did you notice that he had stopped talking and was watching you instead of the game, making your face heat up at the sudden attention.
Shutting it down and putting it aside you turn back to him,“What’s up Sho?” Mumbling out as you slide further into the bed, shifting around until you're laid on his chest, leg thrown over his, peering up through your lashes until it’s his turn to shyly avert his eyes away from your stare.
Nudging your chin into his chest to bring his attention back to you, you ask again, “What’s on your mind baby?”. It seemed so intimate, the way you whisper it, soft eyes looking up at him as he wraps his arms to press you almost impossibly closer to him. “I love you so much.” He says barely above a whisper as he locked eyes with you, a toothy smile spreading.
A wave of warmth hits you as you bury your face in his chest, caught off guard by the confession. “You can’t just say that all of a sudden…” The words are muffled by his shirt but still causes an airy laugh to escape him. “You asked, didn't you?” Shota said, still amused by your reaction, “I’m just really grateful to come home to you, Y/n.” You could feel his heartbeat under your fingertips, the warm feeling infectious as he pressed a kiss to your temple. “I love you too, my alien.” Huffing out one of his signature noises, you’d smile attempting to echo it back to him.
A home filled to the brim with warmth and love. Shota runs his hand up and down your back, sometimes stopping to draw patterns on your skin as your palm smooths against his cheek brushing his hair. Eventually your eyelids start to get heavier, as your breathing steadily falls into deep sleep, Shota holds you close whispering out “I’ll love you forever.” before shutting off the lights, joining you in dreamland.
a/n: I know Soul's birthday was on Feburary 1st, but I just struggled to finish this off so i'm sorry for the delay and if the ending feels rushed.
Happy birthday to my son, Shota! I hope 19 treats you well, please stay healthy, eat lots of fries, be happy, and continue to out dance the industry!!
A counter covered in various baking ingredients, food color staining your hands, and bowls. Patting your hands against your flour covered apron, you stare down at the cake staring back at you. A simple two tier chocolate cake with a small design on top; a Minecraft creeper standing next to a box of fries. It screamed Shota in ways you hoped he’d enjoy; he’d beam brightly at.
Glancing at the clock, he should be home in a few minutes. “Oh shit a few-?!” You muttered out, starting to frantically clean the kitchen to make it look somewhat presentable and not the state of a tornado running through the kitchen.
You were so busy scrubbing your hands to lift the green dye staining your hands that you didn’t hear Shota coming in. He drops his practice bag down on the couch, quietly treading into the kitchen looking for you.
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It was an enjoyable day spent with his members, small treats and presents given to him, congratulations and wishes of his healthy and happy years to come. But he had yet to spend time with you. An early morning practice caused him to slip out of the apartment before you would even consider being awake.
By the time you had woken up, getting rushed away to get ready for work, you barely had a chance to shoot him a text asking if he had ideas what he wanted for dinner so you knew if you had to go grocery shopping on your way home.
But what he didn’t know was that you had taken a half day off to get all ready for his birthday. Coming home early to ensure you had time to prepare his cake, knowing you weren’t the most amazing baker out there. Stringing up brightly coloured streamers, and lights. A small bunch of wrapped presents lay on the table, adorned with shiny bows.
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Shota can feel his heart warm at the sight, a toothy grin taking over his face as he quietly admires all of your hard work.
He wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his head in the crook of your neck. “Green hands?” Muttering out as he feels you relax in his hold. Giggling as green tinted water drips down, “Welcome home Shota.” leaning back to press a kiss to his jawline.
His smile grows as you turn around in his arms to face him properly. His two-toned hair slightly frizzy, and boba eyes shining brightly as they meet yours. “All for me?” Shota asked quietly, referring to everything you set up. “All for you baby.”
Suddenly feeling a slight embarrassment from the intimacy he dips his head down to rest on your shoulder, holding your waist tightly to press against you in a hug. “Thank you, Y/n.” Your hand brushes through his hair, pressing a soft kiss to the crown of his head.
a/n: pure angst, no members in mind but he/him used, gn!reader, wc:940
It was a flash of headlights and a screech of tires against the rainy road. Everything seemed blurred. Heavy panting as the air burned in his lungs but his legs refused to give out. Tire tracks burned into the road as it scrapped against the pavement, veering off to the side. A few meters from the car, lies your body, shirt staining a crimson red.
The air feels thick, almost non-existent as he runs to you, collapsing to the ground to hold you in his arms. Tears mixing with the rain as his hands stain red, uncaring as he pulls you into his chest.
Letting out small gasps, rips puncturing your lungs due to impact. Your eyes struggle to crack open, as rain beats down on your face. A stream of blood and rain mix on the concrete below you, making a small pool. Your chest burns, you mind a hazy mess. Trying to remember how you got here.
Oh right, a fight.
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You were tired of him overworking himself, worried for his health and well-being. But when you brought this up with him, you were met with frustration, anger.
"I'm not a child, I can care for myself. I don't need you nagging me every second of the day. I got enough shit to deal with, don't need you adding onto it." His words shot like arrows through your body. Biting your lip to suppress a shaking sob as tears blurred your vision.
"I'm sorry, I was only trying to help.." Your choked voice quickly cut off by his "Well clearly you're fucking not helping!" Snapping out as he runs a hand through his hair, "Just drop it would you?".
Tears slide down your cheek, as a laboured breath escapes you making him raise his eyes from the ground to your tense figure. You refused to look at him, quickly collecting your phone, wallet and keys as to leave the apartment. Stumbling over your shoes as you slipped your jacket on, knowing it was calling for rain later tonight.
"You're right I'm sorry, I'll leave you be then." Your voice came out small, as if he didn't strain his ears he would have missed it as the door slam shut. Loud footsteps echoed down the hall as you made your way down to the staircase, needing some fresh air.
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"Hey! Look at me please! Its okay, you're going to be okay, I promise, look at me." He's gripping you closely, his face curled into your neck. All you can hear is rain pattering on the ground and his ragged breathing, before he lifting his head, screaming out "What're you lookin' at?! Call for help!"
Short puffs of air come from you, the pain becoming unbearable as your eyes well up with tears. Your body becoming lighter, less responsive as dark spots start to appear in the corners of your vision.
"No, no no baby, stay with me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything, please. No please." He's cradling your head in his arms.
You can't even remember what you were arguing about anymore, it felt so far away in your memory. You use your remaining strength to lift your arm to caress his face, he always had such soft skin.
"It's okay. I forgive you. I'll always love you." His eyes widen at your words, a choked sob escaping him. "Hey what're you saying? Baby don't talk like that. Help is on the way I promise, Y/n please."
Your arm drops down into the puddle of blood and rain, the wetness drenching you both. "I'm sorry I can't stay longer, like we planned."
His tears fell freely, dripping onto your face as you try to find the strength to smile for him, despite the agonising pain.
"Stop it! Don't talk like that! Help is on the way." He screams, eyes screwed shut. A distance sound of sirens rang in his ears, as he looked down at you, "Please, don't leave me all alone. Don't say goodbye please Y/n, it's not goodbye, you're going to be okay I promise. Baby please believe me, help is on the way. Please." His desperate speech barely registers as you can feel your heart tear apart.
"Baby please, remember how you said we were gonna move down south together? adopt too many cats and be a perfect family?" A sob rips through his chest, "I'm already looking at engagement rings, have some saved that I'm sure you'll adore. Y/n can we go home and pick one out together? Can we go home?" Your heart squeezes painfully at that.
Everything is fading around you, distorted voices and sounds, all you can feel is water as if you were floating onto of the sea. A dark abyss covers you, swallowing you whole as you blindly reach out for your lover. Flashes of what you'd imagine your life with them appear, almost mocking you as you bled out.
"My love, i'm sorry to say goodbye."
Doing your best to lean into his touch as he wails out, rain soaked skin grasping yours, as you slip away. The blood continues to spill out onto the pavement, as he sits on his knees, holding your now lifeless body. He feels his heart wretch, sobbing so hard he struggles to force out a breath, as paramedics rush in.
People swarm him, grabbing his arms to pull him to his feet as they crouch above your body. He screams out, "Save them please!" as his knees give out beneath him, bloody hands wrapping around himself as he screams out in agony.
hope you enjoyed the suffering! I did this as a small writing exercise and hopefully kick myself into writing more. my requests are open, and a small shoutout to @writing-my-life-away for beta reading for me.
a/n: thank you @k-k-kn1v3s for taking the emotional beating and beta reading for me
“Please never forget about me.” He can hear your voice echoing in his head as he shifts the guitar in his grasp. Taking a deep breath he starts to strum, getting the beat. A quiet melody carries out as he hums the lyrics. A breeze rustles the grass and trees that surround you both, reminding him that time isn’t standing still.
That time doesn’t sit still, it moves without care for what it brings forward. It moves without hesitation whether you’re ready or not. It came to a standstill only once for Hyeongjun. The day you told him the news.
“It’s looking like I have 5-6 weeks left. There’s nothing left we can do.”
For the first time ever, he had experienced time stopping. Nothing around him registered in his mind, not the people talking, the noise of the nurses and patients in other rooms, not even his own breathing, his heart beat that a second ago he could hear in his ears.
Everything was slow, he could see the quiver on your lips, the way your eyes filled up with tears that refused to break and slip down your cheeks, the way your chest heaved in a poor attempt to keep your breathing somewhat stable. He couldn’t say for certain if time had slowed down or sped up for the hours spent crying into each other's arms that day.
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The breeze brought Hyeongjun back to his senses, feeling the weight of the guitar against his body as his hair brushed across his forehead, “5..6..7..8..” Mumbling to count himself in, he strummed against the strings as he started to quietly sing out to you.
A song dedicated to you, to hopefully express his love for you like he never got the chance to, a love song for his lover that slipped away too soon. His voice never held such a strength in volume, but he hoped that this time it would carry out the emotions he held close to his chest.
“If I could just be happy by the end of this song. But if by the time you hear it, you’re already gone. I’ll just hold my love for you by the end of this life.”
His voice cracked looking up to meet your head stone, imagining you sitting cross-legged across from him, a small smile reaching your lips as your eyes closed to focus completely on his performance.
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As he finishes off, eyes raised to meet yours. “Hey Hyeongjun? When you’re a famous rockstar, please don’t forget about me.” You said it so casually, eyes shining bright at him. Why did you look at him like he held the sky and painted the stars just for you?
He remembers the warmth that raised to his face, red ears and a slightly high-pitched whine escaping him asking what nonsense you were talking about. He still can’t remember if he was questioning your belief that he’d really become a rockstar, or the fact that he’d even let the idea of you disappear from him. “I’ll hold onto my love for all of eternity, I promise.” He mumbled out as his lips brushed against a single bunch of white heliotrope flowers lay against your headstone, Hyeongjun hopes that his love will reach you still.
