Donna’s Decisions In The Relapse: An Analysis
In S4xE6 “The Relapse”, Midge leaves her family and Kitty sends Eric over to the Pinciotti’s in a sport coat with a casserole. Donna promptly jumps his bones and they do it, leading Eric to believe they’re back together while Donna insists to their friends that they’re not.
I’ve always thought that one can’t really blame poor Eric for thinking that having sex meant they were back together, based on what we know about how seriously Donna approaches sex. She and Eric knew each other since they were kids and exchanged ‘I love you’s’, but it still took months of dating before she felt comfortable losing her virginity to him. Her parents’ laissez faire attitude towards casual sex seems to have created the exact opposite instinct in her. So for Donna to say something like,
It was like I would have done it with anybody.
- that really raises some eyebrows. It’s not something we would typically expect from her character.
However, one also has to take into account the circumstances her character was in during season 4. Her mom left the family - she moved across the country without warning, abandoning Donna and leaving her to be raised by her well-intentioned but bumbling dad. Her boyfriend, who she’s in love with and depends on for stability, broke up with her and is being a jerk in the aftermath - kicking her out of the basement, pitting their friends against her, etc. Donna was already in a not-great place before these things happened. She was acting out for her parents attention by failing classes and smoking on school grounds in S2xE9 “Eric gets Suspended”, she was stressed out about her family’s financial stability after Bob lost his job in S3xE8 “Jackie Bags Hyde”, crying about her parents’ unhappy marriage compared to the Formans’ in S3xE16 “Romantic Weekend”, etc. So losing both Midge and Eric now - two pillars of support - could be enough to spiral her into a very bad place, where she’s making some decisions she normally wouldn’t make.
And she was acting impulsively throughout much of season 4, including some presumed sexually risky behavior. Agreeing to go to the Le Motel with Casey. Drinking with him during the day, and cutting school. Maybe sleeping with someone random - anyone - in this moment in S4xE6 “The Relapse” would have been a believable choice she’d make at this point in time, another string in this pattern. Eric just happened to be the one who walked through the door.
But maybe not.
Donna tells both Jackie and Hyde that “it was like she would’ve done it with anyone [when she hooked up with Eric].”
Again, maybe it’s true and it’s how she honestly felt. Maybe she was being utterly self-destructive in that moment. But maybe she’s trying to save face in front of her friends because she’s embarrassed. She just hooked up with her ex! And she’s not ready to face the reason why - which is because she still has feelings for him (duh).
Case in point? When Eric confronts her about what happened at the end of the episode, Donna doesn’t tell him the same line about how she would have done it with anyone (although he’s of course heard it at this point). What she says is,
“I’m sorry for needing you, but I did.”
- and I think that’s closer to what really happened. Donna needed him. Not anyone, Eric. Her person. For some comfort sex, for a distraction, to just feel loved and not totally alone in the wake of this huge loss and life change.
Eric, as mad as he was at the start of the scene, is immediately diffused by these words for what it’s worth. And he also forgives her without a second thought. Which makes me think he gets it.
So I guess that’s my (controversial?) fandom opinion of the day: I remain unconvinced that Donna would have hooked up with ‘anyone’ that day. I think that line was a convenient excuse she gave to her friends, but she and Eric know the truth.
This is really solidified for me a few episodes into season 5. In S5xE9 “Black Dog” when Eric and Donna are arguing about the best way to help someone you love through a tough time, they have the following exchange:
Eric: When your mom left, I gave you space.
Donna: But I didn’t want space. I wanted you with me.
Eric: You didn’t tell me that.
Donna: I couldn’t find you!
It’s a recurring joke/plot in the episode that the men all tend to give their partner space when they’re upset, but that the women want to be showered with love and attention instead. Eric and Donna devolve into bickering about this for the rest of the episode, but it reveals an interesting new detail: Donna wanted Eric with her when her mom left.
This further confirms, to me, that Donna and Eric falling into bed together that day was far from accidental. She knew exactly what she was doing, lol.
It seems like Donna is someone who uses sex to mask emotional pain. She does it here in “The Relapse” when her mom leaves, and again in the beginning of season 6 when she was preparing to go away to college and leave Eric. At that point, Eric seems to become aware of it (“If I get her sad, she gives it away like goldfish at a freaking carnival”). But that’s getting into a different topic. 😊
