Michael Clifford Imagine
We’re Happy
High school was a nightmare... I was naïve to think that maybe University and the real world would be better. Really, it was like some cruel joke to people like me. People who didn't fit into those perfect little boxes, whom weren't always smiles and rainbows. I mean, I tried to be, smiles and rainbows, getting involved.
I was captain of our girls' soccer team from grade 10 to graduation, I partied every other weekend with everyone, and I tutored and was a role model to the younger class. But sometimes I couldn't keep smiling, I couldn't keep lying and my mask would fall away. I would lock myself in my room for days on end, sleeping the entire time, never once looking into a mirror, for I knew my soul would reflect back and I would end up in a bloody heap on my bathroom floor with wrist that belonged in a slasher film.
I was one of the lucky ones. I meet this guy, who knew what I was going through and he became my friend. He didn't expect anything more than my friendship and it was what I needed .By the time we were 19, I had stopped hating myself as much and found other methods to deal. It's the reason today that I carry a black marker with me wherever I am or whatever I'm doing.
Now though, he was famous, touring with his band, I was in my 3rd year of University. We were 2 years clean and just about to celebrate our 1st anniversary. It was inevitable for us to find love in the darkest of our times. We found light in one another and refuse to let it burn out.
Unfortunately, today was a dark day, and I didn't know what to do, I was slightly panicked and I didn't know how to help the one person that has helped me.
"Michael?" I asked as he sat on the edge of our shared bed. "What are you doing? We need to finish packing."
"Why?" he asked looking down at his hands, long black sleeves covering his arms and most of his hands. "They don't need me, Y/N. They could do it all without the ugly one."
"What are you talking about?" I asked concerned.
"Look, I just don't want to go anymore. Okay?" Michael snapped, still not looking at me.
"Michael," I walked around and crouched down in front of him. "What happened?"
"Why am I doing this?" He asked like a small broken child, tears standing his cheeks.
"Because you found something you love." I answered, taking one of his hands in mine.
"But it doesn't love me back." He whispered. "What did I ever do wrong?"
"Nothing." I whispered back to him. "You have done nothing wrong."
"Y/N." He said, trying to pull his hands away from me.
But it was too late. I had already seen it. Tiny rivers of red stained his hands, and when I moved his sleeve up, I saw more and more blood trailing up his arm.
I didn't say anything, or move for a few moments. Because I didn't have to. Michael knew I wasn't mad or disappointed in him, because I had been worse when we first meet. No, I wouldn't be upset about this, I would be calm, because that's what he needed at the moment... love.
I stood from the floor and walked around the bed to my nightstand, taking the black marker from it. Walking back to Michael under his lost gaze I sat next to him on the bed. Taking his hands again. I rolled his sleeve up to his biceps, taking the lid off the marker between my lips and putting it behind us on the bed as I drew the first tally mark next to the last scaring mark.
"1, because I love you." I looked into his watery eyes, drawing another tally mark. "2, because you are light." As I drew the next line I bought his wrist up and kissed it. "3, you are by far the strongest man I have known." My voice dropped to a whisper. Drawing the next tally I moved a little closer to him. "4, never doubt what you love, for it loves you back wholeheartedly." The next tally I drew I looked into his eyes, laugh lines visible as I smiled softly at him. "5... you are my sunshine."
Michael leaned over and kissed me, leaving everything he could have said in the kiss. Pulling away, I leaned my forehead onto his and smiled.
"I'm happy." I whispered. "You're happy." Knowing that with time it would be the truth. "We're happy."
"We're happy." He whispered back. "I love you." He kissed me lightly again. "We're happy."
A/N - Feedback is appreciated
