#sadspatula

[anniedreamwilldo]

I woke up this morning to the most wonderful birthday gift, a bind of my fic Lateral Thinking from the lovely @badhairred

I can’t put into words how special this is to me 😭😭😭😭

[anniedreamwilldo]

tomorrow marks one whole year since I started posting I Still Worship The Flame and bloody HELL that’s insane. 50k words in and I am still writing, life is just life and the story means so much to me that I want to do it justice. it’s also the first long form fic I’ve ever written which is just a lil bit daunting.

anyway before I start sobbing, just want to say thank you to all of my pals and strangers in the comments who have been cheering me on - means the bloody world and I promise the next chapter will come soon ish 🩷

muchos love n wolfstar, annie xoxo

[anniedreamwilldo]

I Still Worship The Flame - Chapter 10: Once Bitten and Twice Shy

I Still Worship The Flame - Chapter 10 - sadspatula - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling [Archive of Our Own]

Wolfstar | WIP | Rated E | Chapter 10/18

It’s 1984. In the small Welsh town of Direidi, every day was the same and Remus was sick of it all - the same cobbled streets, the same boring small talk and now, the same strike. But when Lesbians & Gays Support the Miners arrive, and with them, Sirius Black, everything changes and the quiet voice in the back of Remus’s head that always told him he was different can’t be ignored anymore.

we're so back!!

[anniedreamwilldo]

I Still Worship The Flame - Chapter 8: T'is The Season

I Still Worship The Flame - Chapter 8 - sadspatula - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling [Archive of Our Own]

Wolfstar | WIP | Rated E | Chapter 8/16

It’s 1984. In the small Welsh town of Direidi, every day was the same and Remus was sick of it all - the same cobbled streets, the same boring small talk and now, the same strike. But when Lesbians & Gays Support the Miners arrive, and with them, Sirius Black, everything changes and the quiet voice in the back of Remus’s head that always told him he was different can’t be ignored anymore.

sorry for the delay folks, but finally a new chapter hath been bestowed! lil sneak preview under the cut:

But that was the problem, wasn’t it? What he wanted and what he didn’t. Remus didn’t want to want - he’d wanted a lot of things in his life but wanting something never equated to getting to have it. He wanted to like Direidi, for one. He wanted to not constantly feel at odds with the town around him and wanted to see what all his friends and neighbours saw when they looked at the cobbled paths. They all saw history and community and the generations that walked the same route before them, but all Remus saw was the cold grey stones. He knew that’s why he wrote so much - to create the magic he struggled to see in Direidi. 

And oh , how he wanted to create magic. It could bleed from his fingertips all the time if they weren’t always covered in soot. Men in Direidi were miners, not anything else and certainly not writers. So, that was another thing he wanted, but definitely couldn’t have. When the strike inevitably came to an end, Remus knew that he would be back in the pit with a heart that wanted more than his life would be able to give. 

But now, his treacherous heart wanted more than ever before and it was going to kill him. He’d always wanted to like Direidi. He’d always wanted to be able to create magic in his writing. He’d always wanted to get on with his Da and for his Mam to breathe without spluttering. He’d always wanted to be more than whispered names and his precarious temper. But the thing that was going to kill him was now he wanted Sirius Black. To love him and be loved by him in return.

Love. Maybe he wasn’t there yet, but Remus definitely wanted to be there. Wanted to know what it felt like, push its edges, test how it sat in his palms, roll it over his tongue to see what it tasted like. 

Want. Want. Want. What a dangerous thing. 

Scowling out the window, he cranked up the volume of Lily’s shitty radio and let the even shittier pop music drown it all out.

[anniedreamwilldo]

I Still Worship The Flame - Chapter 4: Slurs, Scraps and Snoring

I Still Worship The Flame - Chapter 4 - Sadspatula - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling [Archive of Our Own]

Wolfstar | WIP | Rated M | Chapter 4/ ?

It’s 1984. In the small Welsh town of Direidi, every day was the same and Remus was sick of it all - the same cobbled streets, the same boring small talk and now, the same strike. But when Lesbians & Gays Support the Miners arrive, and with them, Sirius Black, everything changes and the quiet voice in the back of Remus’s head that always told him he was different can’t be ignored anymore.

New chapter out my dudes!

[anniedreamwilldo]

I Still Worship The Flame - Chapter 6: Mischief

I Still Worship The Flame - Chapter 6 - sadspatula - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling [Archive of Our Own]

Wolfstar | WIP | Rated M | Chapter 6/ ?

It’s 1984. In the small Welsh town of Direidi, every day was the same and Remus was sick of it all - the same cobbled streets, the same boring small talk and now, the same strike. But when Lesbians & Gays Support the Miners arrive, and with them, Sirius Black, everything changes and the quiet voice in the back of Remus’s head that always told him he was different can’t be ignored anymore.

*crawls out of the abyss* new chapter folks!!!

Lil snippet under the cut which is a lil spoiler-y but I have to post it here because it's a part of my fave scene I've ever written and it's basically word for word a real life convo I had with one of my best friends.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sirius offered so gently it made Remus’s insides twist up in guilt. 

“I don’t want to be a whinger,” Remus muttered, fiddling with the volume dial on the radio in his hands until the low thrums of Radio 1 seeped from the speaker. “I don’t want it to seem like I’m making myself the centre of the universe or nothin’.”

“But you are the centre of the universe,” Sirius replied, a light chuckle in his voice. “I don’t know who made you feel like you aren’t, Moony, but your feelings matter. To me, at least.”

“Sirius…” He choked out after a moment. It was too much. Too wonderful, too delicate, too utterly consuming. 

That a star would call him the centre of the universe was surely some kind of messed up poetic injustice. Sirius shone so brightly that there was no need for the moon. But Remus wanted to be selfish, he wanted to be there just to soak up some of his glow and bask in its warmth. 

Remus swallowed harshly. He absolutely would not cry. He wouldn’t . 

[anniedreamwilldo]

⋆˚✿˖ִ✩Tuesday snippet*ੈ★₊˚

Thank you so much for the tag @leavesthatarebrown !!

Lil snippet from the upcoming chapter of I Still Worship The Flame:

“So, thoughts?” Regulus asked when they had taken their seats. “Prongsy really can’t pull off the earring,” Sirius said solemnly. “And if I hear one more time that he thinks it makes him look like a more rugged George Michael, I’m going to rip it out.” “Sirius,” Regulus said in an equally solemn tone. “You know I meant about what Ted said. Besides, I’m working on the other issue.” “Good, because Marls said she’s going to start singing the saxophone riff from Careless Whisper at him every time he speaks if he doesn’t take it out soon.” “He’s had it for three days,” Reg scoffed. “I’m his boyfriend, not a miracle worker.” “Don’t shoot the messenger,” Sirius sang, holding up his hands in surrender.  Regulus regarded him for a moment, eyeing him over his coffee in an unspoken prompt - ‘stop avoiding the question, Sirius’.  “It’s promising but I don’t want to get my hopes up,” Sirius said finally. “Mother dearest has always been a dog with a bone and this is, like, the juiciest bone going. Doubt a few GP notes are going to unhinge her rottweiler jaw.” “Well, it’s further than Jorkins ever got.” “Yeah, well Jorkins needs to be studied as a scientific specimen of idiocy.” “True as that may be, it’s progress.” “Hmm,” Sirius hummed, taking a long sip of his drink and relishing in the comforting heat. He didn’t really want to talk about this anymore. Discussing the Blacks was something that, generally, was only tolerable in short bursts and this burst had definitely expired about twenty minutes ago. 

also thank u Lana for the inspo of James having a gay lil earring, I simply cannot erase the image from my mind

np tags: @imsiriuslyreading @kaaaaaaarf @emjayeingray @eniaos @badhairred and anyone who fancies sharing <3

[anniedreamwilldo]

ISWTF Chapter 4 is coming soon lads! I've had a bit of a break from writing since I've been so busy in the lead up to Christmas but the next chapter is definitely on its way. To tide you over, here's a little sneak preview consisting of some of my favourite dialogue I've ever written:

“That’s a shit origin story, mate,” James said through a laugh.  “Sometimes things are just shit stories,” Remus laughed back, shaking his head fondly. “Shit stories make real life and I reckon most people are just a collection of shit stories.” “Yeah, I’m definitely just three shit stories in a trench coat,” Marlene interjected solemnly. “And at least two of the stories involve scissoring.” “McKinnon!” Reg gasped, his head falling into his hands.  Bloody hell, Sirius had never been happier.

Read Chapters 1 to 3 on AO3 if ya fancy

Muchos love and wolfstar - annie xo