Ahhh, what the heck, your comics are so cute??? 🤣
I'm kinda curious tho (as a fellow ace)—and only if you don't mind my asking?—how you and your partner met/figured out your QPA. Because I've tried the whole... get to know people in person thing, the online dating thing, and it just... doesn't make sense. 😵💫 How does one find a platonic life partner in what often feels like an ocean of straight amatonormativity..? 😅
Thank you so much for the kind words!^^
I feel like my partner would be wayyyy better suited to answer that one since they're the one who suggested to be in a QPR in the first place! But to be perfectly transparent and factual I guess I'll explain the step-by-step:
I wasn't looking for anything specific, to begin with, I was very content to vibe on my own with friends and family as support. (The aro-aceness in me helped in that sense, I believe)
My partner and I started off as online friends that just got along very well and talked a lot about common interests, as close friendships work typically, at least for me
We're both ace so we talked a lot about that, and about what works for us and what doesn't
About a year and a half after starting to talk online, they suggested trying out being in a QPR. My clueless ass had no idea what that was, how that worked, and was pretty much a mess about it, but also down to try, so there we went.
It worked for us. It felt like a nice and comfy type of relationship to be in.
About six months after that we met up IRL for the first time. Vibes were very much verified IRL too.
We started out with a pretty high level of boundaries but have built up more intimacy (both in terms of physical and what we're willing to talk about vulnerably) over time. It's always been done in the form of a suggestion, in a "would you vibe with that, because I would, but if you wouldn't let's not" sort of way. It's been developing pretty naturally and smoothly.
We're still long-distance to this day because we live in different countries. We're considering marriage, mainly as a means to an end, in order to be able to stay in the same place without one of the two risking being kicked out after a while. But ironically, before that necessity even dawned on us, on our first meeting, I was the one who'd blurted out "I've never wanted to marry anyone but if it were you, I think I could". I'm still baffled I could even blurt something like that out, but I did, so I'll stand by that.
No idea what the future has in store, and if we'll stay like this permanently or not, but I don't think it'd be earth-shattering if it did end – but it IS looking pretty good as it is now, and it's good that it's nice now. It's definitely a vibe.
Hopefully that can help a little? TwT But yeah, I wasn't trying in the first place to get any kind of relationship like that, so I guess my original situation is slightly different... Either way I wish you all the best and I hope you can find something that works for you!!
