#saladcrack

[captainkappa]

"Captain Guude, may I... board your ship?"

agentswashington asked for me to make myself with a Mindcacker.

And I did, with bonus Pirate AU cause why not

[captainkappa]

CoC!AU thingy... sorry >.<

Um.. you said you wanted to read it so here it is. It's just a short ficlet and set sometime before the story I post on the salad. Um.. again sorry.

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Kappa wandered out through the forest to check on her traps. Jack following silently behind her watching out for any sign of a threat. It was nice to have him around just to talk even if he didn't talk much. It was still nice. She looked over at the last trap... nothing, there hadn't been anything in these traps for years which was a good sign. Kappa smiled silently to herself but smothered it quickly hearing Jack tense up. If he could be hear tense up something was really wrong. She turned quickly looking around. Jack gave her a sheepish look rubbing the back of his neck "Um.. sorry thought I heard something." he mumbled turning away. Kappa giggled slightly trying to be quiet so he wouldn't hear her but it didn't work. His face went red but a small smile appeared on his face.

"Jack, what do you think will happen if Pause disappears again?" she watched his reaction curiously. He didn't so much as flinch at the question. "Same as we've always done... Etho, Beef, Seth or Adlington will take over until he gets back." his tone turned bitter near the end. Jack had always shown a dislike for the way Pause ran Vacationeers so it wasn't much of a surprise to her. They walked back to the camps together not really in a rush, if they were they would have rode the horses. The two of them walked through the village slowly, not really having a place to go... just wandering.

Kappa looked at Jack again, watching him for a minute before turning away. She had to admit he did look nice but they were clan members, it would be strange if they... became a couple but she still wondered what Jack's opinion on it was. "Jack.. what would you say if two people in the clan got together?" He jerked his head in her direction surprised before turning away mumbling a short. "What do you mean?"

"Well... um... I don't know Drama and Dei?"

Jack let out a short sarcastic laugh "Yeah, Dei and Drama okay... well I don't think they would last so it wouldn't be a problem."

"Who do you think would last?" She persisted watching his reaction again. He stiffened before eyeing her quickly his face going red again like earlier. "I don't know... I have to go though. See you later Kappa." He nodded to her and guided the horses off leaving Kappa to watch his retreat. "A-alright... go to sleep at a normal time to night Jack!" he didn't respond to that and just kept walking leaving her alone to ponder his reaction. 'Does he think of me more than a friend? I know I think of him more than that but it couldn't become something... could it?'

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Also this ship is totally going to be called Jappa. So :P ... sorry >.< <3

_______

Are you kidding? This is cute! :D

[pablo-thiccasso]

Sleep

Voo would like to give video game characters the credit they deserved. Hiking through thick forests with a ridiculous heavy backpack was much harder than it looked to be. Her own feet kept getting caught on high roots, her shoes stuck to some patches of mud she walked over making, the constant threat of watching out for threatening animals and plants, all of that matched with the new regular threat of infected had taken a toll on her and Pause.

Each night they collapse onto the ground and play a quick game of rock-paper-scissors to see who’d get watch duty first. Voo hated the nights it was her. Sleep teased her eyes every time she blinked, the soft sound of the trees rustling in the wind was a sweet lullaby, and the way the cold air touched her skin made her want to rip the blanket away from Pause.

But whenever Pause took over watch duty, it was like she discovered heaven. It didn’t mater in what position or what she fell asleep on, each time it felt like the greatest sleep of her night.

There was one night that no one took watch. It was after a hard day of running from infected. Both of them were exhausted and neither wanted to take watch. Almost because of routine, Voo took watch anyway, leaning against a tree for support and watching the forest with the gun in her hand.

Pause saw her like this and took pity on her. He gently grabbed the gun from her hand and she let it go easily. Then he helped ease to the ground, laying down beside her. His arms wrapped around her and helped drape her in comfort and warmth.

Neither of them took the next watch either. But at that moment of exhaustion, both of them didn’t care about infected. All they cared about was sleep.

////////////

*falls to a sitting position on the ground and whispers* thank you, this has made my day.

[pablo-thiccasso]

I tried to return the favor..

During the first few weeks after the infection, Voo would like to say she was the most prepared. But she actually was one of the people who panicked and hid away. Watching her whole world change into chaos in a matter of days could make anyone fearful.

Her family and friends were all infected, that was a fact. She’d also like to say some survived, that would be a lie if she did though. Everyone she knew was either dead or infected, which made it kinda hard to recover from her panic attack.

Then came the day she had to go out and find resources. It was the basic fact of surviving an apocalypse, get supplied and leave the city. So she head to the nearest grocery store and supply store, whilst being quieter then a mouse because of the infected roaming around.

She got the basics. Cans of food, can opener, lots of water, knife, hatchet, matches, a blanket, and a big backpack to carry it all in. The only thing she was lacking was a gun. Being Canadian and not coming from a family of hunters, that would be a hard task.

But she couldn’t let her mind dwell on getting one, she had to leave the city and move on to the next.

~~~

It took Voo several days to travel to the next town. She realized on her walk how out of shape she was and suddenly wished she had done more in PE. Though it was a good thing that she didn’t have to run the entire way because of infected, or else she might’ve been died very quickly.

On her walk over to the town, she had used most of her supplies and was running dangerously low on them. If Voo has went on a day more, she would be ravished not just by the walk, but by hunger and thirst.

Voo used signs to locate the nearest store. It was a longer journey to it then expect because of infected but she managed. When she neared it though, she could hear someone yelling for help. That’s when she saw him.

He came running out of the store with an infected chasing after him. His mind was clearly set on getting away from the infected and not on anything else, this made him ignore the ground in which he was stepping.

She watched him trip over parking block and fall to the ground. In her mind she knew who would be able to escape the infected if he tried to get up. It was almost if she was watching it in slow motion, and it made her heart ache for the man whom fate seemed to be a bitch to.

Voo searched the ground around her, looking at all the dead bodies, trying to find something that could help. Then she saw the to-be savior of the man. Near the body of a policeman, there was a simple handgun.

Not even thinking, she picked it up and cocked it like she had seen done in several video games/movies. Out stretching her arms, she closed one eye and squinted the other to look down what she assumed to be the sights. Then, with a slow breathe, she fired.

The recoil of the gun was hell to someone who hadn’t had experience with guns outside of video games. Both of her arms felt an ache it’s course through them and made her almost regret firing it. But the infected was dead and the man was safe, for now at least.

Running over to him, Voo helped him to his feet. “We have to move, they’ll be more coming because of the gun shot.” When he finally stood at full height, she felt almost stupid for not noticing it before. It was Pause. The youtuber herself and many of her internet friends fawned over. She considered it irony that she’d meet one of the people that made her the most happy in a hell like situation like this.

But she couldn’t stand here and chat about how she loved his videos, there was infected running towards their location and they had to move. So, they ran.

Whenever Pause was slacking behind her, exhausted from the stress of the whole situation which had just occurred, Voo didn’t hesitate to call back to him. “Pick up the pace Pause, I’d expect the greatest UHC player to be better than this!”

This sparked interest in Pause and he was suddenly back up to her speed. “You…know me?”

"Know you?" She smirked and thought back to all of her fond memories with Salad. "I used to write and read fanfiction about you!"

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*smiles happily* yes, yes, yes, thank you! :D I feel like I will learn from this since it has more feel for a post apocalyptic world. Thank you! *hugs Red*

[pablo-thiccasso]

Cool Guys

They were supposed to be running. Voo didn’t want to though, she wanted to admirer the handy work the two had done. For two recon personal, both of them had done a pretty good job of tearing of the buildings support beams with high caliber rifles. Other members of Salad were layering the upper floors with C4, priming it to blow in a few minutes.

It was peaceful to just be able to aim and shoot without worrying about the target moving or shooting at you. Though there was a lot of fun in that as well. Ginge seemed to like the mission as well, but Voo couldn’t really tell from the few words she got out of the other.

"Seven Minutes." Ginge randomly said, surprising Voo as she kicked off her train of thought.

"What?" 

"Seven minutes until the building goes." Ginge repeated and then added. "We still have to run up three stories to get out."

"We’ll be fine! Cool guys don’t run after helping to plant explosives." Voo swung an arm around her partners shoulders.

"The smart ones do." Ginge muttered, though Voo was too busy imagining the explosion in her mind to notice.

Footsteps sounded behind them and soon a voice followed. “Oh lucky me, I found a pair of wanted criminals with rifles strapped to their backs and what looks to be damage done to the foundation of the building in the form of bullet holes.”

Voo dropped her arm from her partner’s shoulders and turned around with a cheeky smile on her face. “You’re right Pause, you are lucky. Now would you like to meet my newest beauty?” She unslung the massive rifle from her back and carefully brought the scope up to her eye.

Pause quickly disappeared behind a cracked support beam. “Did you get that rifle with the money you didn’t earn by not shooting Dinnerbone?”

Voo fired off a shot, the bullet went through the cracked concrete but missed the officer by a few inches. “We have other jobs, that are more successful.”

"But you still can’t that one finished." Pause moved quickly to the next beam for cover.

"And you still can’t catch me!" Another shot, close but no cigar.

"You’re making really hard when you’re shooting armor piercing…are those BMGs or NATO?”

Shot, still not a hit yet. “NATO.”

"Should’ve known, you’re using an AS-50. Nice choice in gun by the way."

"Thank you." Shot. "Damnit."

"Why don’t you stop shooting so we can settle this?"

"Because I know we’ll just end up arguing, then flirting, and finally making out on the floor." Shot. Miss.

"Funny, you don’t mention me actually handcuffing you."

"Didn’t know you were that kinky." Click. Great, she was out of ammo.

"Three minutes, Voo stop you stupid flirting! We’ve got stairs to climb!" Ginge grabbed her by the back of her shirt and started to drag Voo away. 

"It wasn’t flirting and aren’t you worried about him firing at us?" Voo protested though she never struggling under Ginge’s grip was worse than poking fun Thero and Celeste’s relationship. (That was a death wish.)

"Any talking between you two could be counted as flirting at this point." Ginge huffed. "He doesn’t have a shot when he’s running to the other exit. Because of you, we might not survive, how does that feel Miss Cool Guy?"

”..Still kinda awesome to be truthful.”

"I have an idiot as a partner."

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Indeed you do Ginge indeed you do. XD Red this made me laugh so hard! <3 …

"Because I know we’ll just end up arguing, then flirting, and finally making out on the floor." Shot. Miss.

"Funny, you don’t mention me actually handcuffing you."

"Didn’t know you were that kinky." Click. Great, she was out of ammo

That was one of the best lines! hehe! LOVED IT <3 :P

[captainkappa]

Umm... So here's your saladcrack! I hope I did the pirate!AU correct. :)

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KappaxZisteau. 

Zisteau slowly made his way on deck, sleep still in his eyes and posture. Getting to the deck he was knocked over by a certain man by the name of PauseUnpause. 

"What the 'ell Pause? What'cha running from?" Zisteau asked pushing Pause off of him annoyed. The other man excitedly pointed towards the way he was running from.

Zisteau got up and made his way over. He saw two of many things happening there. Captain Guude was in a sword duel... and his opponent was a female. He turned to glare at Pause for knocking him over but he had run off already.

He watched for a minute and noted the woman was about their age... So around 20 and she had remarkable swordsmanship. 

Zisteau liked to pride himself for excellent swordsmanship but if this woman beat the captain she would be on par with him. 

She did beat the captain in the end, Captain Guude noticed him standing there and motioned for him to come down. 

The girl smirked at him, but he continued to look at the captain. "Z this is Kappa... She wants to be a part of our crew. I told 'er if she could beat 3 men in a sword duel she could. So far she's beaten Pause, Me and now it your turn." Zisteau nodded and pulled out his sword and the gir- Kappa did the same. 

They fought for a good couple hours before he finally disarmed her. Captain Guude had left and come back threw out the fight. He smiled as Kappa's sword left her hand and was about to say something when the air in Zisteau's lungs disappeared along with his sword. 

He doubled over and felt something cold and sharp at his neck. The captain watched in awe. She turned to him looking expectant. "Ya've  bested 3 of my men. As promised ya're now apart of this crew."

Kappa smiled and walked on board watched by all the crew members.

-----

A few days after they had set sail Kappa had been hurt. No one knew how or why but it was pretty bad. Zisteau had to keep her in his cabin for a while. They had regular conversations and slowly but surely Zisteau was falling for this woman. 

-----

Zisteau had been caring for Kappa for about 3 days now and her wounds were healing quite rapidly but it was the conversation they were having that made him do what he did.

Kappa was telling him all about her life on the main land, how badly she was treated and the type of work she had to do. "I had to do pretty muh everything since my eldest sibling died. I'm sure ma uncle killed her. He was a nasty man, I just glad to get out of there."

When she told him about her sibling he just lost it. Zisteau leaned in and kissed her, it was timidly at first but as it went longer more aggressive it got. Each was fighting for the dominate position but the other wouldn't cave. 

He pulled back face flushed "I'm sorry." He whispered but she giggled lightly and pulled him back in again an the fight continued. 

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AHHHHH! OH MY GOD!

IT'S PERFECT I LOVE IT <3

[pablo-thiccasso]

It's your fault.

Since you wanted someone to write you a fic, here.

~~~

Pause closed off the small space that connected their little hole in the wall to the mod fest that was going on in the other side. Voo sat on the ground, trying to get her breathing under control after out running what seemed to be every mod in the game out there.

"This is your fault." The Indian muttered, collapsing against the wall for support.

Voo shot him a glare. “Says the one who was suppose to be lighting up the spawners.”

"I tried to, but you weren’t exactly fending off the mobs." Pause returned the glare.

"That’s kinda hard when you have twenty mobs shooting things at you every second." The other let out a sigh, burring her head in her arms, try to calm down. Worry shot through her body when she felt something drip down onto her arm, leaving a burning sensation where it landed. Upon looking up, Voo saw the ceiling of their little 2x2x2 hideout sagging and letting little drops of lava seep through it. "Oh no."

"What?" Pause looked at the ceiling as well and paled. "Crap."

"He set the stone to have sand properties, he is as evil as everybody says he is." Voo pressed herself up against a corner, acting as if it would protect her from the burning substance above her. "Any blocks or ladders?"

"Nope." Shaking his head, Pause listened for the noise outside the room, hoping the mobs that had been chasing them had disappeared. No luck. "We could either die here or out there."

"Fuck." Voo searched through her disorganized inventory, trying to find something that could help them. Her fingers brushed over a splash potion just as the first block gave way. Without thinking, she grabbed it and chucked it on the ground. She was very lucky. It was a fire resist potion, but a short one.

The lava pored in around them, though the potions made them resistant to the burning, it did not enable them to see through it at all. A hand found Voo’s, gripping it tightly as it dragged her up through the lava flow. She as she finally surfaced, another hand gripped her and pulled her out of the lava.

As soon as the fire around her extinguish itself, Voo opened her eyes to see Pause smirking at her. “Nice timing with that potion.”

"Shut up, I forgot I even had it until last minute."

"Wow, don’t take my non-sarcastic compliment.” Pause gave Voo a small shove before pointing behind her. “Even after I decided you could have all the loot in that chest.”

Voo turned around, a chest stood behind her with a sign above it that read: Well, after making you swim through lava, I guess I should give you some kind of reward. Lifting open the lid, Voo saw the contents consisted of two fire resistance potions, an iron sword with some good enchants, and a gold chest plate that had high levels of protection on it. She stashed the chest and sword in her inventory then turned back to Pause. Tossing him a potion as she chugged her own, the look between the two explained all of the plan they needed to continue on their quest for the next wool.

Pause chugged the potion in a single motion and gave the other a smile. “It’s still your fault.” With that, he jumped back into the lava.

(I did not make this and I don’t know who did… Tell me who you are so I can love you for this!)

[nekoabi]

Self-Indulgent SaladCrack fic

Well... I got bored and wrote myself a saladcrack fic... for myself... I feel kinda dirty doing it, but I really wanted to... and people wanted to read it so... here it is.

Some of the girls from the Salad arrived late and were watching the repairs take place until they were spoken to. However, one girl had snuck away from the rest to the back of the Town Hall – where a lot of the repairs were going on.

She blew a few strands of her pink hair out of her face as she peeked around the edge. She waited until she saw the man she was looking for. Quickly drawing back her bow, she shot an arrow at his feet to gain his attention.

He looked over at her in shock, but slowly made his way over to her. As he got closer, the girl darted back behind the building and waited for him. He rounded the corner before addressing her.

“Neko, what are you doing behind here?”

Neko reached up to gently stroke the man’s cheek – though it was concealed under a skull façade. The fake face disappeared as her fingers reached his face, “Looking for you.”

He smiled and laughing silently, “But why?” Instinctively, he closed the gap between them and pushed Neko back against the stone wall behind her.

“I’ve missed you. Haven’t seen in you in, like, forever.” Her eyes began to flick around, drinking in every detail of his face as if she wanted to imprint it into her mind.

He smiled warmly, “I’m here now.” He felt her arms slowly slide over his shoulders to hang loosely behind his neck.

“Yes, you are, BTC… and I want you to be here for as long as possible…” Neko’s voice has quietened to a whisper,

Without another word, a kiss was shared between them. Started off soft, but it quickly became heated. Neko was pushed harder against the wall and her arms were swiftly unravelled from around his neck only to have them be pinned against the wall with her. Neko found herself groaning softly at this action and she wriggled under BTC’s grip.

Suddenly, she pushed the man away from her. Her head sharply turned to the left, her cat ears twitching and her finger pressed up against his lips. “I hear someone coming. Sorry, gotta go.” She placed a chaste kiss on his lips, “Later.”

Before BTC managed to get a word in, she darted around the other corner and quietly ran back to join the other observing Salad girls. He only just had time to reapply his skin before BdoubleO rounded the corner and collided with him.

“Hey! There you are. What are you doing back here? Get back to helping!” Bdubs stood quickly and dragged BTC back out from behind the Town Hall and back into the middle of repairs. BTC watched as the man who’d just dragged him walked over to the girls standing idly. He caught the eye of the pink haired girl, who flushed slightly and gave him a small smile and wink before returned her attention to BdoubleO. He smiled back a little too late, but still went about the repairs along with the others.

Once all the repairs were done, it was well into the night and many people immediately went home. BTC was helping pack away the tools when a pair of arms wrapped around his waist and a weight was placed against his back. A soft giggle reached his ear before she spoke, “Y’know… it’s later…”