#same old same old really

[sysig]

I really need to find some way to make one of those online quiz thingies without having to sign up for yet another website that I will inevitably forget

[paragonbroscaa]

I think forward progress is supposed to feel good, but it always ends up feeling like I've failed because it should have happened sooner. Like, my one goal that is mine is to move to Canada to be with my partner and near our friends, and this damned English test I'm taking tomorrow is a step in the right direction but I'm feeling shit for not doing this for a whole year after I became eligible for the migration program I want to use. I've just been feeling bleak and tired and not at all up to the task of selling myself as a skilled worker abroad. Somebody has to want to hire me, after all

Except, someone did want to hire me in the US at least! And I got my job pretty quick! I should be proud of that! It only took a few months after I got out of school, and I half assed it at best and hated myself the whole time. But I did it! I should be able to see that as proof that I can get work in this industry!

Instead I just feel like a desperation hire, even though I know I wasnt. I have to believe in myself, but I don't want to fucking be here or do work ever, so how can I trust myself to do well enough to move abroad on my work skills? I probably just shouldn't be thinking about it that way. I know it's paralyzing me.

But I'm taking the damn English test. That's step one. Maybe it wont feel so impossible after this is done. I really fucking hope so.

[eagleslouis]

Heyyy I'm so glad you're back 💜 I hope you are alright

love hello!! ❤ lol thank you for sticking with me!!!!!!

[smartassluke-blog]

Life update: I miss my hair and I don't get enough sleep

[ipredictacyborg]

So I'm listening to a vid of a conversation Lewis and Simon had on naming their podcast.

Lewis just mentioned them mud-wrestling... headlaptop ARGH NO DO NOT WANT THESE MENTAL IMAGES THEY'RE TOO NICE AND I'M NOT WRITING YOGS WAM! >.0