thinking about what Madison looked like, shot like a rabid dog on her own floor. delicate and fragile, dark hair and blood everywhere. naked under Sam's shirt and it wasn't even buttoned up all the way so when she falls, it exposes her vulva and one of her breasts and Sam has a new familiarity with her body but it's different once it's "a body"
improper. immoral. obscene.
thinking about Sam trying to fix that, to protect her in death. thinking about him taking the ruined shirt off and cleaning her, running a warm washcloth over the places he touched her last night. he makes Dean leave the apartment without seeing the body—he has no right to see her like that
when he's done what he can, he dresses Maddy in a set of matching pajamas, smoothing her hair. she's so little and limp as a doll. he tucks her into bed on her side like she was when she fell asleep in his arms
thinking about him kissing her cheek and only then leaving
