#samsonetta

[ash-willow]

omg anyone remember samsonetta “sam”…

gay. gay for juliet.

[hop-a-lot]

[weeinterpreter]

My Girlfriend is a Monster Hunter

Since the fairies are real (and apparently vampires, too, according to canon), why not other mythical creatures?

During her time, traveling around Mexico as a luchadora, Juliet stumbles upon a  tlahuelpuchi (a Mexican type of vampire). She defeats it (obviously), without knowing what it is, until Samsonetta tells her about it. 

Intrigued, and unable to resist the temptation, she becomes a monster hunter. Samsonetta isn't happy about it, but she accompanies her girlfriend, because she loves her, and wants to make sure she's safe.

[ How Juliet meets her first  tlahuelpuchi ]

[ An (un) usual evening for Samsonetta and Juliet ]

[weeinterpreter]

the deal.

[Part 1]

Samsonetta dropped a huge travel bag on the floor. It rattled. Juliet looked up from painting her toenails bright green.

"Are you going away?"

Samsonetta placed her hands on her hips. Something that Juliet found extremely endearing. 

"No, Julieta. This is for protection. I will not have you run around, without– Don't you roll your eyes at me!"

"Come on, babes."

"No, don't 'babe' me! I am serious. You think you are invincible, but your big brother will kill me the moment you get bested by some weird, obscure monster."

Juliet held a hand to her chest, lifting an eyebrow. "Your confidence in me is touching."

Samsonetta held the stare, determined not to give in like the last few times. Eventually, Juliet sighed.

"Fyi, I will not wear any garlic bulbs. That stuff is so unflattering, and it makes me look really weird."

Beaming, Samsonetta opened the bag. "I have something much better. Look."

She held out a bottle. Juliet took it, frowning, before giving her a disbelieving look.

"Black garlic with cod liver? Have you completely lost it?!"

"They won't just keep away any monsters, these pills are also very healthy," she said, reading the back of the bottle. "They are high in essential omega-3 fatty acids and are excellent sources of Vitamins A and D. Both Vitamins A and D contribute to normal immune system function, as well as to the maintenance of normal skin, bones and muscle function."

She was clearly very satisfied with her purchase. "With our jobs, it is very important to maintain normal bone health and muscle functions. Especially, as we are moving closer to our 30s. You can't afford to get osteoporosis, mi amor."

Juliet made a face. "You sound like my brother. And it's freaking scary. Stop it. I won't smell of garlic and fish at the same time!"

Huffing, Samsonetta opened the bottle and took two tablets. "Fine, be a baby."

"Good luck with getting anyone to kiss you now," Juliet said with a snort.

A noise outside the house had her look up. Samsonetta went to the window. She made an indistinct sound in the back of her throat. Juliet knew that sound. It wasn't a "Oh, what a lovely evening" kind of sound. It was a "We'll have to do a double shift followed by five hours of bootcamp training" kind of sound.

"What is it?"

"Not like you'd want to hear my opinion, anyway."

Juliet suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. If Samsonetta was sulking, Juliet usually ended up driving several hundred kilometres to the next biggest town, buying half a ton of chocolate conchas. Might as well bite into the sour apple. Or garlic pill, in this case.

Getting up from her bed, careful not to smudge her toenail polish, she wrapped her arms around Samsonetta's waist.

"Is it an evil Tlahuelpuchi?"

Samsonetta threw her a dark look, but her lips already lifted into a smile. "Are you trying to be romantic?"

"Is it working?"

"Take the pills, Julieta."

Sighing in surrender, Juliet took the bottle and swallowed two of the pills. "Happy?"

"Very. Now grab the ritual knife," she said. "There is a Manananggal outside."

Juliet rummaged through Samsonetta's bag. She whooped in delight when she held the jade hilt of the knife into the light. In response, several screeches outside the window grew louder. Grinning, Juliet stood.

"Who you gonna call?"

"Tontería," Samsonetta murmured under her breath and opened the window.

Mi amor - my love

conchas - (lit. translation: shells) sweet Mexican bread in the shape of seashells (hence the name)

Tlahuelpuchi - Mexican vampire

Manananggal - Philippine vampire (that can separate from their lower body. Fun!)

Tontería - foolishness, madness