#sardonyxthoughts

[sardonyxlestrange]

How did you choose you name?? It’s rlly cool

My “full name” being Sardonyx Hellvile Lestrange, I was obsessed with Steven universe and like aside from Garnet, Sardonyx was the only other black looking character that I liked and I thought she looked more like me physically because I’m not super shapely like garnet. I chose Lestrange as a last name because at the time I really liked Harry Potter and is a Helena Bonham Carter fanatic. Now that I absolutely hate Jkr I’ve been wondering if I should change my last name lol. I also thought at the time that since it was a mix of Steven universe and Harry Potter it’d be like a cute mix of queer media with something super fantasy like. I think I chose Hellvile as a middle name because I really liked Cruella and I was partly inspired. I think given the characters visually (because I ain’t no blood purist) all fused together is what I look like and want my appearance based around.

[sardonyxlestrange]

Looking good is important but what is goth to you philosophically?

That kinda depends on what you mean. Goth for me is just overall exciting. I love the experimental music and art, the very dramatic eerie vibe I get sometimes from watching certain movies, the energy and atmosphere of the people I meet in certain clubs. I sort of fit the stereotype of being fascinated in things surrounding death. Idk. Goth is depressing but in a good way for me. I like being different. I already feel different so I want to look different too. I also lowkey love making normal people uncomfortable with how I look sometimes.

I can’t really simplify goth for me feelings wise. It’s creepy and unsettling and I love everything about it. I like being against the norm, it’s cool. Plus I get to meet awesome people. The community in person is a helluva lot better than it is online. It’s like I feel an automatic connection yk? Hard to explain.

I’m probably rambling but it’s like I don’t say I’m goth or into goth solely for music and looks, in a way it’s a very big lifestyle for me. And I can’t explain how because not everyone thinks the way I do but the people that get it get it. I’ve spent a long time feeling incredibly uncomfortable in my skin and when I started getting into goth it was just like.. oh hell yea that’s my shit right there. Like when I was in elementary school I wrote a lot of short stories surrounding death and shadows (granted at that time they weren’t very good) and whatnot and my teacher gave me a fat ass book of Edgar Allen Poe stories and I had never been more interested in reading in my entire life. I wasn’t into Harry Potter (at that time. Still Fuckkk jkr) or things like Narnia. But discovering Poe and I think at that time Bram Stoker I was just so fixated on them.

Then because my mom was an alt baddie I had been listening to alternative music technically all my life. Though something about good ol Bauhaus stuck.

Oh my gosh I am rambling my bad but like idk I guess I just like the lifestyle. (Twas probably the easiest answer to the question)

Edit; also I just wanted to add that I speak about appearances a lot because I am undeniably black. I am a dark skin person and because of that I remember growing up and not really seeing people like me in the alt scene. I almost never saw anyone with my hair type or my skin color. It was either straight hair or pale face, which isn’t bad, but It just made me think there was no one who wanted to keep their hair type within the scene. Obviously now that I’m older I see more of it but I just remember wishing I saw someone that looked like me look dark and spooky. Representation means a LOT. If I had someone that looked like me when I was younger and was goth I’d be so happy. I am hoping that I can inspire some people because I know the feeling of not feeling good in my skin because of my skin. It is actually so incredibly depressing in the worst way. I don’t want anyone to think that because of something like skin or hair texture that they can’t look the way they want to.

[sardonyxlestrange]

Y’all don’t ever start dating because why is it that I’m trying to rewatch Queen Charlotte on freaking Netflix because it’s a top tier show and is honestly better than Bridgerton in every way and yet suddenly I’m having insane reoccurring memories of when me and my ex would talk about it. He was the typical ‘metal head’ white boy with long hair black hair so we used to joke that I was Queen Charlotte and he was king George n whatnot and just gooo offf about how good the show was. Now I’m pissed that one of my favorite shows is now mentally associated with that fuckass soul draining demon of a man.

[sardonyxlestrange]

whats ur favorite goth song? could be current or all time :0

This is so incredibly hard because there’s just so many absolute bangers. So I’m just going to give you a list of my personal favorites not in order

Bauhaus- Mask, Third uncle, Sanity assassin, Dancing (live vers), Kick in the eye, Bela Lugosi’s dead

Cinema strange- Greensward Grey, Moundshroud

Cemetery sex- (technically the whole damn album)

Voodoo church- flesh, burning obsession, new death, delicious suicide

Mephisto Walz- Mephisto Waltz, Thalia, Damaged art hippy, Going under ground

Joy division- insight, atmosphere, transmission, love will tear us apart

Siouxsie and the banshees- Slowdive, peek-a-boo, Arabian knights, dazzle, melt, trophy

Depeche Mode(they’re goth adjacent, argue w the wall)- in your room, I feel you, wrong, Ghosts again, policy of truth, personal Jesus

Christian death- the great deception, the luxury of tears, the warning

So far the ogs are my top top favorite bands but I’ll find hidden gems here and there. So far I haven’t found many modern bands with the same eerie ethereal vibes but yah

[sardonyxlestrange]

You are genuinely so cool & I love your style!!

‘Upcoming Drag Performer’ !!! - this would be amazing, I would love to see your style & outfits for the shows, I think they’d be so unique & insanely creative - if you do ever perform, please share anything you do or any content you get get from it!

Wasn’t really a question, just wanted to stop by & say I’m a very big fan :)

I’d like to do some kind of performance art but I don’t know if I’m really cut out for it lol. I’ve heard some backlash on people who are either cis or very fem presenting who do drag and have seen people argue that they shouldn’t do drag sooo like idkk but i don’t think I have the body appeal to do burlesque eitherrrr so I’m kind of just trying to figure it out. Thanks for letting me know you really like my page and whatnot :))

[sardonyxlestrange]

I hate when people have liek..0 sense of urgency. Because what do you mean we make plans and you’re just..chilling?? Like hurry ya ass up😭 like I have to leave to make it to this event ive been talking abt for MONTHS. It’s an hour and 30 minutes away, possibly 2 hours because of traffic or some kind of accident on the road and then having to account for parking and whatnot. the event begins at 11 which means we need to leave at least at 8;30-9. TELL ME WHY WE’RE LEAVING AT 11:35 😭😭 like oh MY GOD. and then the excuse is, “oh, well the place doesn’t close until 3 so we have some time still just to chill” THATS NOT THE POINT. I want to chill and take my time and not have to rush to walk around. I talked about this for MONTHSSD and we’re late because of YOUUU😭

[sardonyxlestrange]

If you were forced to eat only one color what would it be?

By that I mean like all the food you eat can only be that color not that you would literally eat the color lol

I really like cheesy pastas so I guess yellow or orange. Would you consider garlic bread kinda yellow too?

[sardonyxlestrange]

Fun date idea: let's to go the graveyard and see if any of the headstones have our names on them.

I think that’d actually be super cool