#sassystew

[iwallymont]

Posing with Sun Yat Sen #siteseeing #cubs #aviators #china #monument #garden #Beijing #layover #sassystew #photo #city #asia #ZhongshanPark #SunYatSen #Vsign #peacesign (at Zhongshan Park)

[flightattendantspeaking]

[flightattendantspeaking]

Rule #11 - You bring it, you sling it. I touch it, I tag it.

No, I will not help you lift your bag into the overhead bin.  If you're a 6'2" male asking for help what makes you think I (in a stiff uniform and heels) would be able to lift your bag?  These are tits, not muscles.

[flightattendantspeaking]

Rule #4 - Sit Down and Shut Up

Don't ask me for an upgrade.  I don't care your wife's cousin's gynecologist has an aunt that's an FA.  The fact that you asked forces my automated response of "no."  Not unless you are an exceedingly nice person, a friend/coworker, or a really really ridiculously good looking person will I even consider the faint possibility of upgrading you.  

[flightattendantspeaking]

Rule #3 - Beverage Service Ettiquite

If you jokingly utter the words "I'm being such a pain/hassle/ difficult passenger" please know that yes, yes you are a giant pain in the ass for asking for a water and a coke and a tomato juice with three lemons.  Then after watching me pour all these you find the opportune moment to say "oh, can I have those all with no ice?"

[flightattendantspeaking]

Rule #2 - Customs and Immigration

Don't ask your flight attendant any questions regarding your damn customs or immigration forms.  How am I supposed to know if you have visited a farm in the past 30 days or if you're carrying more that $10,000 in monetary assets. 

[flightattendantspeaking]

Rule #1 - Vacation Plunders

If your vacation/holiday souvenir doesn't fit in your suitcase then it won't fit in the overhead bin. Spend the extra cash and ship it home because I am not playing Tetris with your 10 ft didgeridoo.