Essential Avengers: Avengers West Coast #77: Infamous Monsters of Hollywood! Part 2: HURRAY FOR HOLLYWEIRD!
December, 1991
Featuring NIGHT SHIFT and SATANNISH!
Satannish! He's not Satan but he's Satan-ish. Satandjacent.
And US Agent, Hawkeye, and Spider-Woman made the bold if dumb decision to fight him inside his belly mouth. Is this demon Astaroth from Ghosts 'n Goblins? No, I already said he's Satanesque.
Last time on Infamous Monsters of Hollywood, a monster movie in production hell was attacked by the Hangman and Night Shift, who demanded protection money.
Wonder Man volunteered to be the stuntman/monster suit actor because he's hard to kill.
Night Shift got a power buff by making a deal with a demon, which served them well when Hawkeye, US Agent, and Spider-Woman went sniffing around missing actor Jason Rolands' life.
The three Avengers (West Coast) were captured and tied to an altar to be sacrificed to a demon, possibly one in the vein of but legally distinct from Satan.
But there's been a member of Night Shift missing and part 2 picks up with him breaking out of jail.
It just so happens that somebody left a shovel where Digger could grab it and he grabs it, beats up the prison guards, and shovel pole vaults over the walls.
And by someone I mean Iron Man.
Digger was in jail because Mockingbird caught him burying men alive on Hollywood Boulevard, back when she took half the West Coast Avengers with her in the pending divorce. Mockingbird beating up Digger and getting him thrown in jail is what led Night Shift to attack the Avengers West Coast Compound, assuming that Mockingbird was still with the team.
Point being, Iron Man knew he was still in jail. He arranged for the shovel to be left out for Digger to find. The guards were in on it. One of them getting hit in the face and crotch with a shovel was apparently all part of the plan.
And now, Iron Man and Living Lightning can trail Digger from high up in the sky, hidden in the clouds, and follow him back to the Tower of Shadows. Which the Avengers have not been able to find just by going to its last known address.
And it works! They follow digger to the Thousand Oaks suburb and follow him inside the non-tower shaped Tower of Shadows manor.
Iron Man and Living Lightning arrive just in time to see the end of the previous issue, with their teammates tied to a thing and a big demon reaching a hand towards them.
Digger: "You?! You followed me, curse you!" Living Lightning: "Never mind that! What's that thing with two mouths?" Digger: "You think I know? I just got here!"
Hah.
Living Lightning immediately assumes that a big demon guy with a belly mouth is no good and starts blasting him in the face with lightning. While Iron Man has taken notice of his captive friends and US Agent and repulsors them free.
Satannish is not at all happy with the interruption. Because first, Iron Man called him Beelzebub. Beelzebub is only a 'third-level demon' and Satannish is 'the supreme master of souls!' and one of the turbo-devils that's top dog in Marvel's various hells.
In Marvel, Satan isn't real but sometimes five top demons can fuse dance and become a Satan and Satannish is one of those guys.
But reason two he's mad is, hey, what the shit, Hangman? You can't even keep your own house in order? What's the deal with people barging into your haunted house secret lair when you were definitely told to make sure you only did the ritual of summoning when the manor was secure?
Hangman: "Look, I'm only human! I did the best I could!"
Hangman says 'I Tried.'
But he also says that they beat up three Avengers easily enough last issue so beating up those three Avengers again plus two more should be also easy. The Night Shift still has all those demonic stat boosts.
And then Satannish probably gets more annoyed because instead of Night Shift leaping into action, they just stand by while Living Lightning and Iron Man continue to harass him.
Living Lightning lightnings him and Iron Man unibeams him. And also, Iron Man mentions Dr Strange so Satannish goes off on a little rant about how much he hates 'that overrated wizardly weakling!'
Satannish tries to grab and crush Living Lightning but the guy slips right through his fingers in his plasma form.
So after a full page of Night Shift doing jack and shit, Satannish turns to Hangman and threatens to revoke his powers unless he destroys the Avengers before summoning him again.
Then Satannish fucks off. He's got a lot of better things to do than deal with this shit. He's a big man. Got big plans. Irons in the fire, probably. Lots of fire.
Only after Satannish has vanished does Hangman tell Night Shift to attack.
I think he was secretly hoping Satannish would do the work for him.
Night Shift does prove to be more formidable than before. And considering they were bordering on lethal joke characters before, now they're dangerous.
Needle's needles can tear through the Iron Man armor. Brothers Grimm can short circuit Living Lighting with electric yoyos. Ticktock's precognitive time powers have been juiced up so he can slow down time for the Avengers. Although, he still has to be looking at his target so Spider-Woman just punches him in the back of the head.
And finally, Dansen Macabre's macabre dancing doesn't just hypnotize. She's able to "dance the spaces -- and the spaces between those spaces -- and even the spaces between -- those!" and makes the entire Tower of Shadows mansion and Night Shift vanish, leaving the Avengers suddenly plummeting because they weren't on the ground floor.
Hawkeye manages to shoot a suction arrow which sticks to Iron Man's uh stomach, probably?, so Hawkeye, Spider-Woman, and US Agent are able to not fall to their deaths.
After landing safe and sound, the Avengers discuss whether Night Shift really got powers from a demon. I mean, they are stronger than they were a couple hours ago.
US Agent, straightforward guy goes yeah I think demons is the logical answer. That or they pinched their pennies and went to the Power Broker. That is just a setting element. You can pay for superpowers.
Taking the whole Night Shift situation more seriously, the five Avengers decide to swing by the movie studio to check on Wonder Man and Scarlet Witch.
Back at the studio, Wonder Man finishes up a take. I guess he's not growling right but he is looking big and intimidating in the monster suit and that's what really matters.
Although Simon is a bit disappointed in himself that he's not doing a better job. He'd love to become known for being a good actor, not just a guy that can do his own stunts and also protection from supervillain attacks.
He also finds that Scarlet Witch Wanda has fallen asleep due to the long, repetitive nature of filming and also guard duty when no supervillains are attacking.
Simon and Wanda head off to grab lunch from the caterers but Felicia Fawn, the actress playing the damsel in "The Demon that Devoured Hollywood", invites herself along.
There's a bit where Wanda knows Felicia Fawn from "Spartacus Has Risen From the Grave" and Felicia is a huge fan of Wanda. Which leads to a discussion about how superheroes have fans now.
That didn't start earlier? The Avengers had an Avengers Day parade and someone has been selling superhero merch in-universe.
Anyway.
Simon tells Felicia to give him some space but finds that she's frozen in place. And not just her but Wanda too! And also
NIGHT SHIFT!
Ticktock was trying to freeze everyone but Wonder Man turned out to be immune for some reason. PERHAPS IONS.
Night Shift is here to get him so Simon OH YEAHs out of the costume for more freedom of movement. And yet still has the monster feet part of the costume on for the rest of the fight.
Wonder Man deduces from the context clues of Dansen Macabre and Ticktock's powers being enhanced that the rest have been as well so he plays cautious against Tatterdemalion.
But the guy was just baiting Wonder Man so the hero would grab his scarf and reel him in. Then Tatterdemalion burns Wonder Man with his touch. Wonder Man punches him away but it doesn't knock him out.
Misfit tackles Wonder Man and the two start slugging each other. Wonder Man used to be way above the other man's weight class but now they're about even.
And Misfit has backup.
Tatterdemalion sneaks up and loops his scarf around Wonder Man's neck, forcing him to loop up at Dansen Macabre's dansen. She hypnotizes him and Misfit knocks the dazed superhero out.
The time stop on Scarlet Witch and Felicia Fawn starts to wear off so Night Shift grabs Wonder Man and fucks off, Dansen Macabre warping them back to the Tower of Shadows.
Scarlet Witch comes to just in time to try to blast at them, missing the departing supervillains but managing to wreck the set.
And she's not even sorry about the director's dismay at that because his first instinct is to hire yet another person to fill the monster suit and finish the picture.
Within the Tower of Shadows, Wonder Man awakens and is informed by Hangman that he works for Night Shift now "or, as they say, you'll never eat lunch in this town again!"
They kidnapped him because Night Shift is going to take over the filming of "the Demon That Devoured Hollywood!" On top of stealing the star actor, they've also stolen a bunch of cameras and stuff from the studio!
Wow.
Wonder Man asks why they're focusing on this specific movie. And it turns out, unsurprisingly, that the Hangman is Jason Roland, the original star of the picture. BEFORE HIS MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE. Which happened in an old horror mag but gets recapped here.
Roland's legendary monster makeup skills were actually the result of a deal with Satannish and when Roland broke it, Satannish transformed Roland to look like the demon, the one that was going to devour Hollywood.
So Roland hid for years, keeping his head low, and surviving in ways he doesn't want to really get into. He probably ate garbage. And eventually, he got desperate enough that he swore to his demonic benefactor that he would stick to the deal this time.
Satannish had apparently gotten his ass kicked by Dr Strange between turning Roland into a monster and Roland calling on him again. Because he can't just take Roland's soul as payment. But Satannish had a new angle. He transformed Roland back to looking human. Gave him superpowers. And gave him a mission to fulfill.
Hangman: "To accomplish my mission, I needed more people like me -- people willing to give up anything and everything for a shot at stardom..." Wonder Man: "Enter Night Shift, right?" Hangman: "Right -- though even they didn't know the Hangman was Jason Roland, till now!" Wonder Man: "So why turn criminal? "Demon"'s release will make Jason Roland a star all over again. And when it's learned you're still alive, you couldn't get any more media attention if you were Julia Roberts' good-looking sister!" Hangman: "But without Satannish, I'd never have been human again, to take advantage of it!"
That's all well and good and doesn't actually give concrete details what Satannish's misison for Roland was. And Wonder Man says he has a better idea for the guy.
Back at the Avengers West Coast Compound meeting room, Scarlet Witch is filling the other Avengers in on what happened at the movie set.
Ticktock freezing her in time so Night Shift could beat up and kidnap Wonder Man might sound outlandish... but the rest of the Avengers can vouch for Night Shift's new powers.
Living Lightning wonders whether the group really did get new powers from "the devil" but Iron Man has to explain that they live in a weird, comic book universe.
Iron Man: "Satannish, Mephisto, and their ilk -- they're not demons in the strictly religious sense you mean, Miguel." Hawkeye: "Yeah. Far as we can tell, they're more like E.T.'s with a mean sense of humor!"
Scarlet Witch yells at them for explaining setting details while Wonder Man is being held captive. US Agent decides to flirt with her, saying she's hot when she's mad.
John. Stop.
Then one of the Compound's support staff comes in and tells them there's something on the TV the Avengers should see.
The Avengers turn on the TV annnnnd. It's Night Shift. They've taken over Show Biz News and are holding the host hostage.
AND they're announcing a new movie project, "The Night Shift Takes Hollywood", directed by Hangman, starring Night Shift, and co-starring Wonder Man.
Wonder Man: "For years, I've gone the usual route: stunt work -- bit parts -- playing the bad guy who gets chewed up in a trash-masher in the final reel. Well, I'm all through with that. As of now, I'm a real live movie star -- and anybody who doesn't like it can kiss my ions!"
Credit where due. The rest of the Avengers don't buy this as a legit heel turn and figure he's working an angle to betray Night Shift. But, if its so obvious, Night Shift probably suspects he might try that. And if he screws up his sudden but obvious betrayal... he might wind up killed!
Dun dun dun! To be con con continued!
Week after next. We gotta start the Bob Harras run on Avengers next.
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