Saturn Conjunct the North Node (Transit)
Ya know, first hearing about transit Saturn coming to conjunct my natal North node, I thought back to my first Lunar Nodes return from about 4 years ago. How time has passed right on through since then, something Saturn knows much about. He’s constantly tracking our aging through the time we spend with Him in out walks here. Much so is this walk represented by our North and South node placeholders.
When I had my North/South node return a few years back, it was a time of realizing that I had a path to be on at all. The brimming excitement that came along with that was pure ecstasy. And in honestly, it was accompanied by some actual pureeee ecstasy. Just sayin’.
Besides the point, it was knowing that I was in the right place, at the right time, with the right people, doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing. Or sometimes on the contrary, doing exactly what I wasn’t supposed to be doing. Either way, a path way was made clear, one of the now and where I was destined to be headed, and one of the past that spoke of what was tried and done.
Transit Saturn coming around to conjunct you’re natal North Node is a time, to me, of testing where you are at in relation to that destined path you are on. Saturn will deliver all kinds of treats, rewards, and goodies to applaud your efforts if you have been following the bread crumbs that accompany this pathway. However, He will also let it be known when you are veering veering off track. For me, this brings me to a stand still; an absolute hault that grabs me by the ankle and shakes me around a bit till I get it; “GET BACK ON TRACK!” He reminds me.
It’s pretty interesting how this has worked out in this conjunction. My natal North Node is at 5 degrees Sagittarius, smack dab in my first house of Self. It’s conjunct with my natal Moon at the 0 degree of Sag. This is a propelling force that is keenly felt and experienced in my life. Sure, a but masked by my daunting Scorpio Ascendant, but don’t let that fool you.
Back in December 2014 when Saturn was gearing up to ingress into Sagittarius, I was hip hopping with joy, knowing this was going to be my ‘it’ time. It’s followed, in many ways, to live up to that, but damn does the spot light and upper climb up the mountain come with it’s struggles as well. Saturn got to exactly 4 degrees Sagittarius as of Match, 2014. Only 1 degree away from being conjunct my North Node, at least exact, and I could feel it moving in closer and closer. Much to my dismay, it decided to hit the breaks and reverse backwards into Scorpio, up until August when He decided to to head back for Sagittarius territory.
Back in March when Father Time (Saturn,) was oh so close to forming that hearty conjunction to my North Node, I was in Hawai’i discovering MYSELF (Sag N.N in the FIRST house, remember?) for what felt like the first time in my life. My Gemini South Node in the Seventh House of Others has always been what I’ve done. Not this time. I was meeting all the right people, having the meaningful conversations needed, and treading spaces that were fulfilling me inside. I was so hungry for this. During the time Saturn stopped, turned around, and retrograded, gave me the opportunity to go back with Him and review, reflect, and sit with all that I took in. I found myself back in my hometown of Jacksonville, Florida for the time being of this as of April. It was during this time that I took in all my knowledge of my new-found travels and used it all as technique. This was bound to cave in on itself at some point. I wanted to talk the talk, but not walk the walk. I was still walking the old ways of my Gemini South Node.
During my five months back in the homestead, I became increasingly fascinated with masks. I was going to crafts shops, buying masks of different shapes and guises, and then painting with various appearances and expressions that seemed fitting for whatever state I was in at the time. The first one was I did was very humanistic; one side very normal in expression and day-to-day while the other half had tears streaming downing the face; a very split and dual nature being basically. This really was me from the moment I stepped foot back in Jax territory. I was thrilled to see my loved ones, start a new position at work, and gear up for my next travels. There, however, was this weight that carried with me that yearned to be back on the great island. My time there wasn’t complete. In retrospect, as now here again gearing up to depart, my time here will never be complete, as it’s my (((Heart))) home. To tie all that together, my heart was torn. The duality that my Gemini S.N thrives off of was coming back in full force. I was seeking to integrate that which is not integrateable. The type of living and ways of being I was seeking could simply only be that; lived and Be. I didn’t quite understand this yet.
I continued this fascination with masks and painted more. Each one would find a special place in my room to be showcased on display for all to see. I got some pretty wonky reactions to say the least when people would come in and see my room. Little did they know, these masks were merely motifs for my own changing and dualistic ways that were shape shifting constantly.
Sure enough, the great island of Hawai’i called me back in September, following some time spent on the West Coast in Oregon. I was being pulled in all kinds of direction with new adventures and modalities I was practicing, but one thing was certain: Hawai’i had fruits for me. Now here for almost three months, and finally, transit Saturn made his way up to 5 degrees and exactly came into conjunction with my North Node! The show I’d been waiting for all along. What I keep hearing from Him again and again, is how badly do you want it? My being here is proof in itself that I want it pretty damn bad.
Opportunity after opportunity has presented itself to me during this time. Don’t be misled and think this has all just been handed to my, though. I’ve worked my ass off and put in some over time to go a long with it. I can assure, though, every last bit of effort, has been worth it. It paid off.
There’s been those nagging challenges as well. One must note that just as when transit Saturn is snuggling up with the North Node, He’s also playing tug of war on the other side with the South Node, exactly opposite the North of course.
For me it’s been not about totally eradicating my Gemini S.N, but coming to know where it’s served me, but also how it’s holding me back when I fall back on it for comfort. The ways of rationality, information intake, and understanding has always been my default; zooming endlessly through the mind for the details. Comes in handy when writing, but when attempting to live to my fullest in relation to this Sag North Node, this has a way of hindering me greatly. I’ve always used my masks to hide behind and form a Self for others that they wanted to see. It’s many times left me abandoning how I really am just so others will like me. This has gotten really old.
The ways of traveling upward in the North Slope of things has been a wild ride. Being Sagittarius, I never quite know where it’s going to take me. I now Trust the bigger pictures enough though to take me to the places of my highest dreams. In this knowing, I have all the information I could ever need.
~Aloha and Happy Transiting..
