Vision Quest Astrology

Translating the Voices of the Stars...

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Astro Update ~ Energies~ Staying Clear & Aware of the Spaces Around you ~

Aloha astro family. It’s been a minute, but here we are in the midst of the end of the last eclipse season we have just passed through. These events tend to linger for a few weeks afterwards, so you may very well still be surfing the aftershocks. Surf we do with protection of ourselves, and mindfulness of our field/energy, that of others, and the spaces we tread and occupy. 

The way we tend to our energy, and how we interact with others energies tend to get highlighted during a Venus retrograde passageway. It’s a valuable time to catch up on the residue that others have left on us, and the energetic upkeep of relationships in general. It’s not just all about the romance, sweet rosy things, and marriage that Venus deals with like so many think. 

Let’s also take into account that Libra, the sign Venus rules over, is being occupied by Jupiter, who is also currently retrograde. Ahhhh. Some puzzle pieces are fitting together there, eh? Combine all this with the influx of Aries energy we are immersed in now, and holy moly. The infusion of Aries gives us the opportunity to take action for OURSELVES in the midst of all this relationship evaluation. 

For me personally, I’m taking stock of where I have turned a blind eye the other way when it comes to what I don’t want to see in others. Especially when it’s individuals who I adore, and look up to dearly. No matter who we are dealing with, and how much of a positive impact they have had on our life, we can’t continue to ignore and sweep under the rug the negative influences that come along with them. 

Energetically speaking, these astrological influences are inviting us to do an energy sweep. Where are there holes in our field that are allowing in nasty influences? Gotta recognize the influence, and patch up the holes. There’s some disillusionment that comes along with that, for sure. We still have the mighty influence of Neptune in Pisces, as well as Chiron, who are working to burst these bubbles of delusion. Fortunately, the Aries infusion is aiding us in getting on with it rather quickly, versus lingering in a pity-party of despair about “all the time we wasted there or with them.”

As for me, I have no regrets concerning anything that’s been coming up surrounding any relational dynamics. Truthfully, I’ve known these influences were here with some of them, and on some level, I knew they would catch up eventually. The ways in which some of these truths had to be delivered have sucked ass - that can’t be denied. But you know what; you just keep going. 

We are gearing up for Saturn to be be making a VERY close conjunction to the Galactic Center on April 6th. There is some majorly potent, karmic energy that will be surrounding this. Right after, Saturn will proceed to retrograde, giving us time to take in all of it. It won’t be until December, at the years end, when Saturn will hit the center again head on, and move forward into Capricorn afterwards. 

We have quite the rest of the year ahead of us, folks. Take this time and opportunity to utilize the energies that are prevalent. I highly encourage you all to keep in check with yourself; your light, your shadow, your goodness, and your badness. All of it. Be aware of who’s in your life, and the influences they bring in. Know thyself, so you can therefore know others. 

Aloha, and happy transiting~~

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Current Astrological Happenings: FULL MOON LUNAR ECLIPSE IN LEO

As a Moon Riser, I’ve felt Luna’s waves of emotion washing over me keenly these days; a mix of euphoria, hysteria, and uncertainty all at once. You want to know the strongest emotion of all that I felt as of late? Fear. Yes, fear. That ugly four letter word that we all try and pretend doesn’t exist in our lives. In my experience, when I live in that denial of it, the fear only becomes stronger. 

Much like the ego and pride, fear gets a bad rap. It’s not something that needs to be eradicated or shamed for being felt, but rather acknowledged and investigated. How does it show up in your life? What is it’s texture? What pieces of you does it cling onto? 

When we meet our edges, you know, those limits we set for ourselves, things get shaky. Panic arises, anxiety renders it’s face, and we edge out. It takes courage to counteract this. It’s no surprise to me that this is a theme making itself known now, as this particular lunar cycle and eclipse is happening in Leo after all. One of the greatest attributes of this energy, to me, is that of courage. It’s bold, daring, and sure, sometimes regal and sassy. 

Being courageous, however, doesn’t just mean the fear disappears all of a sudden. It jut means you do it, whatever it is that’s asking of you to grow and stretch, afraid. The courage greatly diminishes the fear’s power over you; it no longer can hold you back. 

The opposition between Leo and Aquarius is one of ego and pride, and where we have invested that ego/pride. Has is swelled so much that our hearts have become mute? Or have they aligned with the heart? A heart-centered ego is totally possible, and this opposition shows us exactly that. 

As Luna passes through on this eclipse, where is she illuminating any dark spaces in your life that fear still mongers in? Feel into that, and let the sun then shine brightly on it.  

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Gemini Full Moon; Mutable T-Square

Aloha, fellow Astro lovers! Super excited over here at Vision Quest Astrology to dive into this Full Moon, to be in Gemini, that is readily approaching (or very well may be in action by the time you read this.) 

I couldn’t not delve into the T-Square that is occurring up in the sky right now as well. This dynamic aspect has a lot of insight to offer up in this lunar cycle. To me, there’s a lot of excitement brimming in the air with this one. The Sun has just slid into home base fires of Sagittarius! Ah, yes. Take a deep breath my friends, we made it through Scorpio season yet again. How was it for you? I dug deep, explored, and gleaned in a lot of insight. Now, in Sagittarius, we have the bow to shoot the arrow of our expression of choice. From here there is all kinds of enthusiasm to go along with that. We have the fiery force on our side of this Truth seeker.  

To directly oppose him, we have Luna to stir him up in Gemini. While the Sun is discovering Truth, Gemini is busy acquiring, processing, and sifting through data and knowledge. In her duality, she is mastering the ability to shape shift through all sorts of territory and deliver the Messages needed. Is it any wonder the Gemini moon is quick talking, fast thinking, and ever versatile. To appease this Full Moon opposition, we need to recognize that the Sun and Moon here are wanting the same thing. Can we balance it out? Merge what appears to be polar opposites? Yes? Good. From here, this awareness lessons some of the tension that the Full Moon can stir up. 

To tie in the T-Square, we’re dealing with the four Mutable archetypes. The Full Moon is opposing the Sun, but then Jupiter (in Virgo,) and Neptune/Chiron (in Pisces) come in and mix up the blue print of the sky. The square, especially of the T-square, is multiple squares forming off one initial opposition, is asking of a change. The dynamic forces at play here invite us all look at different areas of our life. What are we doing to uphold our Truth? How are we refining and bettering ourselves? What is our belief system (if one at all?) And how does our mind operate?  

We can’t forget to bring Mercury and Saturn into the mix here, for they are the two puzzle pieces that weave this whole tapestry into making with they’re powerful conjunction in Sagittarius. The mind is aligning with the great task maker of the sky in this instance. Thank God for this. We have stability of mind; foundation to stand upon again; the slope of the mind is becoming less slippery. Take a look at your chart and see where these game changers are transiting for you.

I’ll leave you with a mantra that my mentor and dear friend, Rashani, said to me in a recent intensive. I believe it really applies to this current astrological forecast:

“What am I doing or not doing? Saying or not saying?”

Check me out at: http://www.visionquesthealing.com to book a chart reading! 

~Happy transiting...

[visionquestastro-blog]

My Recent Detour of Sun Through the 12th House

Oh, but you just got here...please stay....

This is my take on the 12th house; the melting pot of everybody, all the experiences we have had, and the sometimes daunting remnants past things we’d rather not talk about. There’s some apprehension to enter this zone. There’s not many warning signs, but once your in there, you know where your at. Or maybe not. There’s not always a lot of knowing in here. It’s wishy washy, mucky, but there’s also another side.

There’s a purity, sweetness, and beautiful tapestry like nature to this door-knob-less house. It reminds me much of Alice’s fall down the hole of Wonderland. There are wonders here, plenty of them. There;s all those dreams we forgot about as we got so busy with everything else.

It’s interesting the way this transit works for me every year. Scorpio rules my 12th house, so naturally the whole transit of Scorpio season takes place for me there. It’s a time of wrapping up the year, right before we get to the jolly time of Sag season which then goes through my first house during Christmas. 

The sun going through the 12th house is wrapping up it’s detour through your whole chart of the last year. This year, it found me on the last leg of my Hawaiian journey, right after I’d completed a two-week intensive. The rest of the group who participated made their ways back to the mad land, but I stayed, I was invited to house sit for a friend who owns some guest houses at the top of a 5,000 foot mountain. Total solitude. Totally off-grid. Completely alone...well, with the exception of leaving when going down the hill, but that’s it. I signed up knowing that I needed to decompress from the intensive.

Upon my first day, the silence was so loud (ironic, right?) that all I knew to do was bawl my eyes out. There was no one to distract myself with, and no where to run away too. This was the most intimate I have ever been with myself. Sure, being a Scorpio riser, alone time is needed for me to recharge my batteries. Generally speaking, though, I thrive off being around Others.  

It’s been on the top of this mountain that I’ve come to discover my addiction of the mind; ya know, the endless loops that the 12th house thrives off of - one story after another. It’s been in this that I have moved closer to all of my fears; those looming dark, scary figures I’ve kept in the back of my consciousness. There’s been nights I didn’t get a lick of sleep, for I was preoccupied swirling in the wind with irrational fears taking over for the evening. No one could save me from this. 

I’ve been confused, gotten clarity, and then been confused all over again, all leading to this; the way out is in. I’ve left myself behind time and again as to flee the often times, overwhelming fears that have loomed over me for as long as I can remember. By sinking into myself, I found a solace unlike any other I’d ever experienced. It’s been experiencing it all, exactly as it is, that I see it’s not nearly as scary as I once thought.

So long house 12...I’ll see you again next November. It’s been real. Till next time...

~Aloha and happy transiting...

[visionquestastro-blog]

Saturn Conjunct the North Node (Transit)

Ya know, first hearing about transit Saturn coming to conjunct my natal North node, I thought back to my first Lunar Nodes return from about 4 years ago. How time has passed right on through since then, something Saturn knows much about. He’s constantly tracking our aging through the time we spend with Him in out walks here. Much so is this walk represented by our North and South node placeholders. 

When I had my North/South node return a few years back, it was a time of realizing that I had a path to be on at all. The brimming excitement that came along with that was pure ecstasy. And in honestly, it was accompanied by some actual pureeee ecstasy. Just sayin’.

Besides the point, it was knowing that I was in the right place, at the right time, with the right people, doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing. Or sometimes on the contrary, doing exactly what I wasn’t supposed to be doing. Either way, a path way was made clear, one of the now and where I was destined to be headed, and one of the past that spoke of what was tried and done. 

Transit Saturn coming around to conjunct you’re natal North Node is a time, to me, of testing where you are at in relation to that destined path you are on. Saturn will deliver all kinds of treats, rewards, and goodies to applaud your efforts if you have been following the bread crumbs that accompany this pathway. However, He will also let it be known when you are veering veering off track. For me, this brings me to a stand still; an absolute hault that grabs me by the ankle and shakes me around a bit till I get it; “GET BACK ON TRACK!” He reminds me.

It’s pretty interesting how this has worked out in this conjunction. My natal North Node is at 5 degrees Sagittarius, smack dab in my first house of Self. It’s conjunct with my natal Moon at the 0 degree of Sag. This is a propelling force that is keenly felt and experienced in my life. Sure, a but masked by my daunting Scorpio Ascendant, but don’t let that fool you. 

Back in December 2014 when Saturn was gearing up to ingress into Sagittarius, I was hip hopping with joy, knowing this was going to be my ‘it’ time. It’s followed, in many ways, to live up to that, but damn does the spot light and upper climb up the mountain come with it’s struggles as well. Saturn got to exactly 4 degrees Sagittarius as of Match, 2014. Only 1 degree away from being conjunct my North Node, at least exact, and I could feel it moving in closer and closer. Much to my dismay, it decided to hit the breaks and reverse backwards into Scorpio, up until August when He decided to to head back for Sagittarius territory. 

Back in March when Father Time (Saturn,) was oh so close to forming that hearty conjunction to my North Node, I was in Hawai’i discovering MYSELF (Sag N.N in the FIRST house, remember?) for what felt like the first time in my life. My Gemini South Node in the Seventh House of Others has always been what I’ve done. Not this time. I was meeting all the right people, having the meaningful conversations needed, and treading spaces that were fulfilling me inside. I was so hungry for this. During the time Saturn stopped, turned around, and retrograded, gave me the opportunity to go back with Him and review, reflect, and sit with all that I took in. I found myself back in my hometown of Jacksonville, Florida for the time being of this as of April. It was during this time that I took in all my knowledge of my new-found travels and used it all as technique. This was bound to cave in on itself at some point. I wanted to talk the talk, but not walk the walk. I was still walking the old ways of my Gemini South Node. 

During my five months back in the homestead, I became increasingly fascinated with masks. I was going to crafts shops, buying masks of different shapes and guises, and then painting with various appearances and expressions that seemed fitting for whatever state I was in at the time. The first one was I did was very humanistic; one side very normal in expression and day-to-day while the other half had tears streaming downing the face; a very split and dual nature being basically. This really was me from the moment I stepped foot back in Jax territory. I was thrilled to see my loved ones, start a new position at work, and gear up for my next travels. There, however, was this weight that carried with me that yearned to be back on the great island. My time there wasn’t complete. In retrospect, as now here again gearing up to depart, my time here will never be complete, as it’s my (((Heart))) home. To tie all that together, my heart was torn. The duality that my Gemini S.N thrives off of was coming back in full force. I was seeking to integrate that which is not integrateable. The type of living and ways of being I was seeking could simply only be that; lived and Be. I didn’t quite understand this yet.

I continued this fascination with masks and painted more. Each one would find a special place in my room to be showcased on display for all to see. I got some pretty wonky reactions to say the least when people would come in and see my room. Little did they know, these masks were merely motifs for my own changing and dualistic ways that were shape shifting constantly. 

Sure enough, the great island of Hawai’i called me back in September, following some time spent on the West Coast in Oregon. I was being pulled in all kinds of direction with new adventures and modalities I was practicing, but one thing was certain: Hawai’i had fruits for me. Now here for almost three months, and finally, transit Saturn made his way up to 5 degrees and exactly came into conjunction with my North Node! The show I’d been waiting for all along. What I keep hearing from Him again and again, is how badly do you want it? My being here is proof in itself that I want it pretty damn bad.

Opportunity after opportunity has presented itself to me during this time. Don’t be misled and think this has all just been handed to my, though. I’ve worked my ass off and put in some over time to go a long with it. I can assure, though, every last bit of effort, has been worth it. It paid off. 

There’s been those nagging challenges as well. One must note that just as when transit Saturn is snuggling up with the North Node, He’s also playing tug of war on the other side with the South Node, exactly opposite the North of course. 

For me it’s been not about totally eradicating my Gemini S.N, but coming to know where it’s served me, but also how it’s holding me back when I fall back on it for comfort. The ways of rationality, information intake, and understanding has always been my default; zooming endlessly through the mind for the details. Comes in handy when writing, but when attempting to live to my fullest in relation to this Sag North Node, this has a way of hindering me greatly. I’ve always used my masks to hide behind and form a Self for others that they wanted to see. It’s many  times left me abandoning how I really am just so others will like me. This has gotten really old.

The ways of traveling upward in the North Slope of things has been a wild ride. Being Sagittarius, I never quite know where it’s going to take me. I now Trust the bigger pictures enough though to take me to the places of my highest dreams. In this knowing, I have all the information I could ever need.

~Aloha and Happy Transiting..

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New Moon in Scorpio; 11~11~15

In the wake of the morning, Luna whispered to me faintly in my still decompressed ears from the previous nights sleep. Etching me into waking, she slithered around me in a caress that resembled a nurturing Truth; penetrating, present, and fully aware. It was in this that I knew what was being asked of me. 

Still with me? Good. Luna has a lot to say this go around, but not in your usual way. This is a feeling position for you the moon...one that’s exacting and probing in it’s approach. She’s closely linked here with the mind, Mercury. She wants a bridging in the mind to heart. All too often they are experienced as two polarities. These two can immensely support one another when allowed. I myself often have never given them the chance to get to know each other. Ya know the typical spiel, especially as a Scorpio riser, I’m all in or all out. Heart or mind. Mind or heart. Not this time. I tried just dropping into the heart in the past, but would quickly vacate back to the mind. These days it’s about discovering what happens when these two merge; united in one as heart AND mind. This is a powerful place to live. I know this because I am now living it.

It once seemed an impossible task to share what was really in my heart, seeing as it opposed everyone’s views that were outside of me. I for so long adopted what wasn’t mine and owned it. I would wonder why my heart had grown so flawed, as the thoughts coming right into it spammed with toxicity. It caused me to shut down. My heart therefore went into a hibernation; a freezing over that likened that a Winter storm gone completely wrong. The Warmth of my own fiery and enthusiastic Sag moon was put out, as well as my Leo Venus. These two oh so important parts that love nothing but but to shine, share, and express.

So how does all of this tie into the Scorpio New Moon, now among us? My experience is only one of many out there, but take what of it you like and leave the rest. It, to me, rings true of what the Moon and Sun’s conjunction to Mercury now speak of. Scorpio will dig, penetrate, and get to the very core, so that we can then shoot the bow and arrow of Truth that follows in Sagittarius. See where this influx of Scorpio is transiting for you now, and be prepared to get expressive with these all-knowing truths that have presented themselves to you. These great ones are on your side.

~Happy transiting..

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The Influx of the Virgin; Virgo Infusion

Do you feel that need for exacting rightfulness? Do you see the little details that normally wouldn’t bother you, but now do? How do you process things now compared to a little while ago? A time of the recent past, but whispers to be a not long ago at all. This is Virgoan influx; steeping into the tea that is the meticulous virgin. Organic, raw, and ultra-sensitive in process (especially that of the body,)  these are the themes that the Milky Way up above are bringing forth. Between Venus, Mars, and Jupiter, and soon to be North Node all in Virgo, we have more than enough planetary forces to escalate these themes and bring them into our experience and attention collectively. 

Venus bringing in Her kisses of comfort and acute attunement to the awareness of the bod gets ultra sensitive in Virgo. We’re all picking up on scents like pregnant women that we never knew even existed. We get a bit more picky here when it comes to what’s being put in our bodies, and even who we associate with. Mars then comes in and is ready to break out the lists, vision/planning boards and get to action in an orderly and refined way. This is a let’s get things the fuck done kind of a time. 

In that though, remains a quiet humbleness that radiates throughout all of the doing, digesting, and tasking. This immersion of Virgo principle that we’re all being steeped in is relishing in the attention we are giving to those aspects that we normally ignore and avoid. Coming to our knees, touching the Earth, and getting very clear and honest with ourselves. 

Intuition heightens here with Jupiter, as these themes blast into an expansion! But be aware that just as Jupiter expands, he also contracts; a process that is just as needed, especially in Virgo territory. This is a space and archetype where processing is very much so a part of the daily regimen. It’s about checking in with one’s self, taking care of those inner spaces, and then going out there and getting done what needs doing. We all can tap in and feel the difference on a day where we’ve rushed right into the doing before taking the time to sit and be. Being is a lot more likened by the Virgo than most give them credit for.

As the North Node of Destiny shifts into this territory soon, we are going to further go into these processes where ever it is that Virgo shows up in the chart. 

So sit; breathe; tap in; come into the spaciousness of all that is You, and then the world is yours to go serve. Gaia and her inhabitants are waiting for you.  

[visionquestastro-blog]

The Explosions of Truths...

Much like the Volcano that explodes, so does our truths; honesty’s; integrity gaps. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful. And so life carries on.......right?

I thought so too after recent astrological foretelling, but ended up stuck in the muck. Yes, this included resentment, anger, jealousy, and the many not so good feelings that come along with that. How does one carry on after such an explosive event? Those tender spaces get activated, and old wounds get clawed right open. Mine felt as if they were reopened again and again. This, that, and plenty more, I thought I was done and through with. HA! All this charming Libra with it’s Venusian kisses in the air fooled us all on that one. 

There’s such a catch 22 with Libra. It can either be so passive-aggressive, incredibly ignorant for one side of the issue they’re seeking justice for, or somewhere in homeostasis in the midst of the tea-tor totter. Fast paced Mercury, while slowing down in it’s retrograde motion, is making all kinds of swipes through Libra. Kissing softly, but giving the hard blows often times behind the backs of those who need to hear it the most. However, this is a silver lining. The recent Blood Moon in Aries was that explosion needed to get out the issues and underlying ‘bugs’ to the surface. Since then, there’s lava flows to attend too. There’s wounds to be licked. There’s been confrontation, conversation, and apologies to be made...one after another. 

This has been, for me at least, I won’t put it on you, but a time nonetheless of getting honest with myself, and then carrying that truth out to those around me. We skirt around, lie, and manipulate (  so unconsciously,) and we do it so much that we don’t see it happening. Recent events have shown me that this way of living does catch up with you. I can feel that nagging feeling in my stomach when I alter my truth at the expense of someone else so they will like me or approve of me. It’s such a abandonment of the self, and becomes a way of selling one’s self in authentically. It’s not being in integrity, a massive theme that keeps presenting itself to me.

If my truth is to say no to someone, then that’s it. Simple as that. To say yes is saying no to myself. It doesn’t feel good. It’s not fair to me or anyone around me. Mars’ recent move into Virgo has us all looking at where we aren’t ‘showing up’ and bringing us to refinement. 

We’ve got time to get this down. Next time eclipse season rolls around we’ll get a good dose to see just how well we’ve done. Till then...

(((((Aloha fellow astro lovers))))

[visionquestastro-blog]

The Great Mystery of Becoming (Blood Moon - Lunar Eclipse 9/28/15)

The recent Blood Moon (better known as the Full Moon which was accompanied by a Lunar Eclipse on September 27/28,) has left behind a trail of ripple effects in the days to follow. I suppose I can only be so surprised since the effects of an eclipse, especially one of this magnitude, are felt for six month spans typically, thus propelling us into the next eclipse season.

Ah what a dozy this one was, though! Ever since my relationship to Stars got tapped into several years back, I have become aware of the significance of eclipse season and the weight that carries, but never have I been so impacted by one as I was this extra Bloody Moon.

So let’s jump right in, eh? So much was stirring in the Milky Way leading up to this event; Mercury’s recent slip into backwards motion, Saturn returning back to the 0 degree of Sag after a summer of intense Scorpio action for the final bow, Pluto gone direct, Jupiter’s entrance into Virgo, and a lot broiling for Black Moon Lilith and her ever so felt presence touching this Blood Moon. 

The polarity between the Aries-Libra axis opposing on the war ground ensued with the Sun and Moon. There’s pull and tug with each and every opposition, but the Aries/Libra unit teaches us really how to handle the rest of them all. Mercury teamed up with the Sun, but opposing the Moon instantly polarized rational logic and emotions. Then we bring in Black Moon Lilith to blow her horn and say ‘wake the hell up!” When this diva screams, you hear her. Opposite the Aries moon, she was sure to dominate. However, being in Libra, she really wants to work with others in the process of that happening. Direct confrontations were on the horizon with this gig going on in the sky. To remain in integrity, standing up for one’s truth, but to also consider the others in our lives. Where does the compromise come into play in that equation? Where does the assertion and voice for self equate?  One way or another, the Stars aligned to show us through others where we need to learn these two lessons.

As always with the opposition, I find integration is the key that I find will unlock the chaos that often ensues from trying balance both sides of the beam. You absolutely can’t be on both ends of the spectrum AND in your own truth ALL at the same time. To do so wouldn’t be authentic to yourself or anyone for that matter. A choice has to be made. Risking my likability was the task asked of me, and although volatile with how it manifested, I choose to remain true to myself and integrity this time around. Please all and you’ll please none...a saying that really rang true for this Moon. However, don’t be an out right, selfish ass in the process either. There’s a way to remain congruent, in truth and integrity and all, while standing your own ground. 

We’re all on the other side of this eclipse now. Till the next one, my friends..

Aloha,

Vision Quest Astrology 

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Saturn Conjunct the Moon (Transit)

The cosmic feeler and the cosmic doer coming together to dance; to blend in harmony; to clash in which ever ways they maneuver in their flow~

Flow is something the Moon relishes in; dripping, dropping, ebbing, and always changing. Not in this mutable way, but in a I’m only going to tell you enough to make you want to know more kind of way. On the flip side of that, we’ve got Saturn; the cosmic task maker, time keeper, and Karma deliverer. Is it any wonder these two would butt heads, but oh how much they need one another.

The Cancer-Capricorn opposition rings true for a lot of what’s to be said here, but instead of the the signs which represent the archetypes, we’re dealing with the actual planetary bodies which signify and rule over all of it. Saturn’s up in the sky with His brash and hard whip, awaiting to be cracked at any sign sign of malfunction and any act that’s out of integrity from our congruence. Only Saturn’s actually not nearly as ill-intended as we’d often like to think; there’s a pile of mush underneath that facade. Father Time just wants to keep us on track and to LEARN, UNDERSTAND, AND COMPREHEND. 

Luna is more softer, elusive, fluid, and submersed in the unconscious world which streams though our veins. We are 70% after all, eh. She has fruit for us; utter, juicy, and watery fruit at our disposal that doesn’t reply nearly as much on rational reasoning and harshness to operate. The Moon is the warm fire that keeps us warm and comfy on those hard nights, as opposed to the wet blanket effect of Saturn. 

When ~transit~ Saturn touches our natal Moon, a transit I am actually enduring for it’s third pass with in 9 months currently, one’s emotional life gets real. In brutal honesty, emotional display and processing seems to come to a halt during this blending of the two planetary forces. 

Luna, to me, has a whole lot wrapped up in Mom “stuff.” I have a loaded, stiffed, and estranged relationship with my Madre, and Saturn knocking on my Luna’s door has been a wake up call to how I am handling this and to not let irrational feelings dominate the situation. Feel, yes, but to not get stuck in the muck. Being such a sensitive Moon riser, the first pass of this transit was brutal, and seemingly relentless in getting what it was asking of me. Over the summer when Saturn began moving backwards in it’s retrograde, He was etching closer and closer to my Luna again, and with each step I could feel the density and weight growing heavier and heavier. This time felt even more depleting, as if my batteries and will power to embrace the struggle just wasn’t happening. The whole point was to show that the way I handle emotion, in it’s many guises, HAD to evolve and go through a revamp of sorts. Now coming to the third pass, I’m not shutting down like before. That’s the familiar path I’ve always taken; there’s no resistance there and it leads me to a muddle of depression, self-loathing, and pity. It’s never been productive, and we all know Saturn just isn’t going to have that. This time in the mist of the tango, as I am right in the heart of the conjunction as it’s coming to fade, I FINALLY am grasping what’s being asked of me: TO GROW UP. MATURE. EMOTIONALLY STRAIGHTEN. RID MYSELF OF THE TOXIC AND UNTRUE STORIES. 

Mother “stuff” has ensued as I met a woman recently in Hawai’i whom I instantly felt kindred too. It was as if we’d known each other for years. She conveniently reminded me much of my Mother, and represented a nurturing and caring figure. I opened up to her about my entire life and shared those mushy, scary, and tightly sealed secrets that don’t just get thrown around lightly. All of that to say, I invested myself into this relationship where I felt I was the son, but in also having a friendship in what was represented as a parental type union. To follow in my own Mother’s truest fashion, the nameless Woman vanished; uprooted and running directionless for the hills of somewhere else, probably without the slightest clue of where that somewhere is. She made me fall in love with her Spirit, in a completely platonic way, just like my own Mother. That same free spirited, fun, uplifting presence that could not be captured nor tamed, much like the Moon Herself. 

After a night of Moon and star gazing, in the midst of the recent Blood Moon/Lunar Eclipse conveniently enough, we connected on this cellular level that had me reminiscing in the good ol’ days of nostalgia that landed me back in the memories of how my Mother and I once bonded before she fell of the cliff of insanity; a lengthy fall that about took me down with her. The ~nameless~ Woman of the Moon, the day following our soul tribe bonding, I awoke to a shift on the land, one that felt all too familiar, but one I had hoped to have left behind in the dark of the Moon. Wishful thinking on my end. To deliver with His conjunction to my Luna, Saturn came in right on time (of course,) to deliver me with exactly what I needed to seal the deal on this lesson. I awoke that morning to being abandoned yet again. Along with other friends staying where we were as well, they helped my, what I saw her as, newly-found Mother escape. The arrow that punctured my heart sent me spiraling into the many uncountable episodes of disappearances that my own Maternal Mother imprinted upon me in her active drug addiction and other manic behaviors. I instantly jetted into crises intervention mode, one I’d perfected by this point, but had forgotten how horrible it felt. It’s now in writing this that I see I am not a victim. No ‘Mother’ figure of mine has ever intentionally abandoned me. I’ve had these stories set like a DVD player on repeat and rewind in my head. This whole fiasco was a Divine intervention orchestrated to wake me up to my own self inflicted suffering. I now give thanks to this nameless ~Mother~ of mine to have swooped in and reminded me of what I simply choose to forget. It’s in this remembrance of what always lays unconscious (Moon riser life,)  that I can fully detour, reevaluate, and move on with grace and fortitude. 

Thank you Saturn, thank you Luna, and to all of my Mother’s out there who have come to show me that which needed to be seen consciously. 

Aloha,

Your Moon Riser 

[visionquestastro-blog]

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