#saucepaw

[moodswingsabz]

UWCB: ‘You’re Not Flinching’.

There’s been quite a bit of time since my last post and things have been a bit of a whirlwind since then. The big night is two weeks today and it’s come around pretty quick. I can honestly say at this point I am more excited than I am nervous and I am genuinely viewing the fight as a reward for all the hard work I have put in at training. The next two weeks are likely to be pretty full on too, with the final run of training in the lead up to the fight (it’s only been getting tougher), the weigh in and finding out who I will be fighting on the night.  In the last couple of weeks I really started to feel the benefit of all the training I have done, the pinnacle of it all being last Friday when I attended a boxing class at ‘Aberdeen Combat Centre’ and went through several sparring rounds at the end. I’m not going to say I’m a great boxer or any kind of ‘natural’ because I’m definitely not but throughout these rounds I definitely felt I pulled everything I had learned in training together; I felt I moved confidently and efficiently on my feet, blocked well and timed my punches well rather than just throwing scrappy slaps at the guy in front of me. Most importantly, I felt relaxed and comfortable. One of the young boxers who attends that class, who I spar with every week and who has given me a lot of useful feedback also told me just what I was thinking; that I had I made a massive step in the right direction. It’s amazing how much the words ‘you’re not flinching’ can mean.  Sadly, it hasn’t all been positive since then. Over the past few days, the cold/flu/sickness/ming/cough/chest-terror/bug/thing that I have been trying to get rid of for weeks has reared it’s ugly head again and has forced me into taking a couple of days out of training to recover and recuperate. With two weeks to go this is incredibly frustrating for me, especially since I felt I had reached a level where I was progressing well and was ready to put in a really good shift for the final run in. Just as the positives in my training were starting to flush out all the anxiety I had around the fight, I get hit with being out of training and new doubts about losing my fitness and sharpness before fight night. I never thought I would react so badly to being told to get some rest. The only positive to missing training is that I am genuinely feeling a lot better already and with any luck I will be back in training by Monday, ready to bang it out again until fight night. That’s the plan anyway.  As always, a MASSIVE THANK YOU to everyone who has donated so far. Please keep the donations coming, it’d be absolutely incredible to reach £1000 before fight night.  www.justgiving.com/saucepaw 

[moodswingsabz]

UWCB: The Emotional Truth

I said in my first boxing blog post that one of my aims was to keep you all informed of how I was feeling throughout this experience. If I’m honest, I have danced around this a little in posts previous to this one and this is probably because, on the whole, I wasn’t really sure how I was feeling about the whole thing myself. There have been ups and downs, sure, but I have never really explained in detail how I feel about the final, massive hurdle at the end of all this. I suppose, with less than a month to go, I might as well take a look.  Anyone who has followed my blog posts for some time or who knows me well will probably know that I am a pretty determined person and not someone who is deterred or gives up on things easily. That being said, I am when it comes down to it, quite a fragile person in many ways and these two things coupled together can sometimes be a harmful combination in that I will keep pushing myself to do something if I believe in it, even if it is damaging or distressing to me to do so. I’m also guilty of being a bit too hard on myself at times and being pessimistic in general. Whilst boxing as a sport, has been great fun to start learning, it can be frustrating at times. As I continue to work hard, I can see myself getting better, slowly but surely. However, boxing is incredibly technical and I often find that even when I’m managing to do most things right, it can be the one thing I do wrong that can be my downfall. Unfortunately, in a sparring scenario, that can often lead to quite a painful whack across the chops. In that sense, seeing myself get better makes it even harder to accept the mistakes that can lead to the punch in the face that rocks my confidence. 

There is also no other sport (aside from other, similar combat sports) that I can think of where so much preparation is required for something that can be over so quickly. This certainly isn’t a battle that is specific to me and is something that goes right across the sport but it is something that I find playing on my mind fairly often; What if after all these hours of work I’ve put in, all the things I have sacrificed, it all goes horribly wrong on the night? What if I’m not good enough? What if it has all been for nothing? Of course, these thoughts aren’t terribly helpful to my training but I do try to use them to push myself harder, reminding myself that I am doing all this preparation to make sure I am in the best possible position I can be to be successful on the night. Fear of the unknown is a powerful thing though and regretfully I have to admit that I haven’t managed to turn all of the fear into a healthy one. There is still plenty for my underlying anxiety to feed on and this is where I think my real struggles currently lye. I’m not sure whether boxing isn’t good for my feelings, or my feelings aren’t good for boxing *insert stupid laughing emoji to make a joke of this and hide secret anxiety*. In lighter news, my skipping is getting much better and my flat is now filled to the rafters with porridge. Maybe if it all does go horribly wrong on the night I can just sneak back into the ring and show off my new found abilities with a rope, before sneaking off into the night and heading home for a lovely bowl of ‘Golden Syrup’ oats. Only joking, I’ll definitely be in a corner somewhere drowning in wine. Until next time, I welcome any thoughts, advice or feedback and I promise to try and keep my chin up. Actually no, I think that was my problem in the first place... So, the fundraising has gone incredibly well over the past couple of weeks and I have completely smashed my target. This post wouldn’t be complete without a shout out to my Dad who has put in a sterling effort and raised a massive £280.00 at his workplace! Thanks to everyone at Glaxo in Montrose. I’m well on course to get double my initial target so please keep donating. I really am humbled my every donation and every piece of support I get, it means an incredible amount knowing you’re all behind me. THANKS LADS! www.justgiving.com/saucepaw