Watched the movie for the 50th time today and needed to share my love for it.
You were the new woman. On the younger side, barely past your twenties and when stepping into a small town people were bound to talk. New Haven was a small sleepy town, located right at a port, sailors boats tilting back and forth on the glittering water. It smelled like salt and sunshine, seagulls were gawking, floating in the air.
You loved watching them, how the wind kept them in one place. They never seemed to hurry away or flap against the storm, only hovering in place, content with where they are. There was no need to fight against the storm when it was your friend.
Your start was more than rocky. You bought a house right in the woods, no lone soul apart from yourself trekking through the crunching leaves and earth. You liked the smell. Especially when it rained. The moss climbing the bark got all wet, the earth sinking beneath your shoes as the smell of it raised in the air. On hard days you’d step out of the house barefoot, standing in the mud and closing your eyes. You liked the way you sunk into the earth a little, leaves crunching beneath the sole of your feet, small little stones digging into your skin.
The breeze would brush your hair away like a gentle lover and a few birds kept humming a quiet melody. It was beautiful, how the sun rays peaked shyly through the crowns of the trees, tickling your nose. It was only then that you were at peace. Only then that you could really stop for a moment, not feeling the itch that told you to run.
Maddie was nice enough to trust you and got you a job at the locals diner. It made you keep track on all the tourists passing through but it also paid good. You didn’t know yet if you’d stay or not. You liked the town, the people were nice enough. Well, almost all of them.
There was exactly one little shop right at the port where you’d get everything you needed. Groceries, hardware stuff, paint, whatever a girl needed. When Patrick first saw you, you were squatting down, talking to his little girl, a soft smile on your lips. The moment he stepped into the shop he could see you stiffen and quickly stand up, grocery basket in hand.
“I’ll ring you up,” he quickly walked behind the counter, Ruby his daughter helping him. She had a little gap between her teeth, flashing it at you every time she beamed with a smile.
He packed up your purchases for you, glancing at you occasionally or making a little comment he’d scold himself for later. Toothbrush and toothpaste, light bulb, rice and light matches.
While you were cautious around Patrick, you kept coming by his store and getting your things. You barely talked, almost squirming beneath his watchful and older eyes.
He couldn’t help himself. Despite being a towny it was not natural curiosity that made him watch out for you. It was the way you always shrunk into your self, like you wanted to disappear. It was like you had a 360 view of every room. You knew where everyone was and what they were doing.
You were always with one foot in the door, ready to leave.
Despite your flighty nature, you slowly started to relax around Patrick, he had most to pay due to Ruby. You seemed to melt around his girl, knowing that she could never inflect harm to anyone.
Maddie noticed how you seemed to linger around the shop more often, chatting softly with Patrick, his eyes never leaving your form. His knuckles would brush your elbow, helping you get something from the top shelf when you struggled to get it. You’d never asked for help but he could see you struggling. He was behind you in a matter of seconds, smelling of the wind and salty air as he got the glass of honey from the top shelf.
He flushed when you thanked him like a little school boy and not a man in his thirties.
“Surely you’ve heard what happened to his wife?”
You looked up from cleaning the tables at Maddie.
“His wife died, a few years back,” Maddie said. “She had cancer.”
You stopped cleaning the table at that information. The next time you saw Patrick you saw him in a different way. Soft shadows clung to his body. He tried to mask it, putting on a brave face for his children and it was working quite well. You were surprised you didn’t notice it first. There was an air about him that made you relax. Like he’d stared death in the eye and stood his ground. He was brave. Braver than you.
When you stopped by one time and Ruby insisted you join them to a day at the beach you agreed. To your and Patrick’s surprise.
Milo and Ruby were both building sandcastles as you and Patrick lay on your stomach side bide side. His fingers plunged into the cold sand, letting it trickle between them and you glanced at the colorful beaded wristband on his tan wrist. Probably made by Ruby.
“I was surprised you agreed to join us,” he spoke softly.
The sound of waves crashing and the scent of salt in the air made you feel safe. But maybe it was his presence too that gave you a slight sense of security. Patrick was a good man, he was a good father and despite your past you could tell that he was attractive.
“Mhh,” you both were staring at the sand your hands were buried in, fingers just inches apart.
“I’m glad you did,” Patrick went on. “Ruby likes you a lot.”
“Well I like her too.” You smiled softly. “She’s a great kid. Milo is too.”
Patrick snorted lightly. Milo wasn’t the easiest kid. He still remembered his mother and no matter what Patrick did he was doing it wrong. He was at his wits end, he loved his son to the end of the world but it was hard on some days. When you gave and gave and got nothing bad but anger and stubbornness. He needed to swallow his grief for his children, not properly able to say goodbye while putting on a happy face.
“He’s been nothing but rude these past days.”
“He’s a child,” you turned your head, smiling softly at Patrick. “I can understand that that kind of loss leaves scars.”
His eyes clouded slightly as he watched you, his fingers burying deeper into the sand.
“He remembers her so vividly. Sometimes it feels like my memory is slipping. I barely know what her voice sounds like,” he admitted quietly.
Your pinkies touched beneath the sand as you looked at him.
“No matter how long you’ll not forget her. The things you did, the time you had with her will always be there. It doesn’t matter if you remember her voice or what blouse she wore on a day. People leave a mark. It might not be visible but it is unconditional.” You said. “She’ll forever be a part of who you are.”
Little did he know that you weren’t only talking about him. Some people left a mark you desperately tried to get rid off. Unsuccessfully.
Patrick chuckled lightly. “You’re pretty wise for your age, huh.”
Your smile turned sad, a little furrow burrowing between your brows. “Age doesn’t define people,” you sigh. “Only experience does.”
Turning things lighter he cleared his throat. “So, you settling down yet?”
You stiffened slightly, only relaxing when his pinky twitched against yours nervously. You looked at him, the way gray streaks ran through his dark curls. Soft freckles dusting the bridge of his nose as the sun hit him from behind. It looked like he was alight by the sky, shimmering softly.
“Why?” You asked with a slow smile. One corner of his lips tilted up in a soft smirk. If a smirk could ever be soft.
“Just curious. You think of staying?” the way his eyes dipped to your lips made you flush slightly.
“I’m not sure yet. I’ll stay if I have reason enough to stay, I guess.”
His eyes flashed and your hands met, buried beneath the sand. Something warm settled in your chest as he intertwined your hands in secret, for no one to see. And for a moment it felt like there was something past what had been, making space for things that could be.
Seagulls croaked and you both tipped your head back. They were soaring in the wind right above you, hovering in place, with no hurry to leave.
